


Four Days

by ladyvenoms



Category: Spartacus: Blood and Sand, Spartacus: Vengeance, Spartacus: War of the Damned
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/F, M/M, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-23
Updated: 2013-09-22
Packaged: 2017-12-24 09:12:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 43,694
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/938188
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ladyvenoms/pseuds/ladyvenoms
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Four couples spend an eventful holiday weekend together in "Gay Wonderland". Not everything is as what it seems. Lucretia and Gaia play hosts to Agron and Barca, Saxa and Belesa, and Nasir and Castus. Wondering about the couples? Don't. What starts out as one thing ends up as something else. In the meantime, there's alcohol to be drunk, objects to throw and tears to be shed. Dramatic as hell.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first time publishing a fic. I might need a beta but I'm too arrogant to ask right now. If my nose gets bopped enough, I'll get one. Enjoy!

Prologue

Lucretia in a brief moment between scattered thoughts looked at the wall calendar that hung near the kitchen window. The four boxes that marked the first four days of September were marked with a big red “X”. She paused, smiled and then went back to rinsing out the bowl she had just mixed her eggs in. The endless litany of mental reminders that had played through her head for most of the morning was gone. Instead it was replaced with rapidly changing scenes of clear water kissed by sunsets and bare feet perched upon the wooden rails of decks. It all meant “vacation” and she welcomed their intrusion.

Just as another scene was forming in her mind, the balcony door slid open and a slim, dark haired woman strolled in holding a coffee cup balanced on a plate. Gaia’s crooked smile met her as she handed both to her. “Want another cup?” Lucretia asked, already turning towards the coffee maker. She already knew the answer. Gaia was no good until she had her two and a half cups.

“Please? And thank you.” Gaia responded with her clipped English accent. Lucretia poured the coffee, added a generous dollop of hazelnut creamer and small teaspoon of raw sugar. It was almost unconscious, these actions. Born and bred from years of loving and living with the tousled haired Englishwoman who stood next to her at the sink. Ten years they had been together; a decade of building up and breaking down of emotions, preconceived notions, prejudices and expectations. After an epic courtship, they had finally settled down into an easy routine rarely disturbed by the small bumps of everyday life. Rarely.

Lucretia passed off the cup and said, “You look like you are so ready for our vacation.” Gaia huffed into her drink and answered, “Ab-so-fucking-lutely. This project is driving me completely batty.” She shook her head and continued, “I honestly can’t believe that functioning adults are capable of acting like spoilt and surly preschoolers on a daily basis.” Lucretia blinked slowly and placed a gentle hand on Gaia’s shoulder. She said nothing because she didn’t need to. Gaia’s complaint was all too familiar along with Lucretia’s soothing words of sympathy.

“Well,” Gaia sighed. “Enough of prattling on, time to put on my big girl knickers and deal with it.” She placed the cup in the sink and gave Lucretia a soft kiss. After a beat or two, she looked in Lucretia’s face and simply said, “Thanks.” Lucretia offered her own crooked smile and ran her hand through Gaia’s tangled locks. “Try to not strangle anyone today. You still have to call the caretaker so that he can look at the refrigerator at the house.” She answered. Gaia let out a bark-like laugh and strolled out of the kitchen. Lucretia could hear her snorts along with the patter of her feet all the way to their bedroom.

As Gaia readied herself for another hectic day, Lucretia finished straightening up the kitchen. She then went out to the balcony and cleared the table. Even though they had a housekeeper, Lucretia insisted on cleaning up when it was her turn to cook. It made her feel useful and the monotonous tasks enabled her to sort out whatever issues she needed to deal with during the day. Gaia had no such compunction. Whatever happened, she dealt with it right then and there. She needed neither plan of action nor a list of do’s and don’ts to check off. She swung from the hip in every aspect of her life. She said whatever she feIt and did whatever she pleased. Her personal mantra was, “Stop wasting time thinking about what you are going to do and just do it.” It was both the most attractive and the most infuriating part of her personality. Gaia was equal parts capable of causing deep hurt and unimaginable joy to those around her.

In the beginning of their relationship, Lucretia was drawn to the point of madness by Gaia’s free-spiritedness. She was so unlike anyone she had ever met before. Her outwardly lack of fear helped Lucretia conquer her own. Although she was still more cautious and introverted than her partner, she was thankful for having Gaia in her life to push and prod her whenever she became paralyzed with her thoughts. It was almost enough to make Lucretia think they had a perfect life. There’s was just one thing missing. As soon as the idea came in her mind, she closed it down. That subject was not to be broached today, even though her doctor’s appointment was approaching soon.

After she saw Gaia off to work, she began to get herself ready to go to the gallery to finish off some of last bit of business following another showing. She arrived around mid-day after an obscenely long shower and quick color touch up to hide the gray creeping around her temples. She strolled in unconcerned with the time or the frazzled looks of her employees. It was always like this post-showing; the time when the actual numbers were being crunched. It was only after that when it would be known if it was a success or not. Lucretia entered her office after brushing off the haggard looking accountant. She needed to settle in before being bombarded with figures. Besides, she needed to finalize some plans before the vacation. It wasn’t exactly supposed to be on the top of her list of priorities true enough, but she had been in the art business long enough not to worry if she didn’t need to. She had to admit to herself that she was definitely ready to take off for Lake Tahoe. She was drained and it was beginning to show.

She emailed Barca first to find out when he and his partner Agron were arriving. As of late, email was the only way to contact Barca. He was very hard to get in touch with since he resigned from his law firm, a surprise to everyone-including Agron. Next, she texted Saxa wondering if her girlfriend Belesa was able to get time off from her job to come. Finally, she called and left a voicemail for Nasir, asking if he and his lover Castus would need a lift from the airport. She grinned a little after she put the phone down. She was starting to get excited. The concerns of the gallery had fallen to the bottom of her mental to-do list.

The house in Lake Tahoe, Californa was left to her by her parents. After they emigrated from New Zealand, her father purchased the place with his business partner back in the early 1970’s. They would then trade off years for family vacations. When Lucretia was a teenager, her father bought out his partner’s half. It was a sprawling four bedroom home a few miles near Echo Lake. In the wintertime, she and her brothers would drive on West 50 to the ski resort and in the summer, they would trek to the lake. She loved it there. No matter how often she would go, she could still smell the apple potpourri her mother used to freshen up the place. It was a place of warmth, of peace. No matter what problems the family faced (cancer, infidelity, drug abuse); they were always forgotten once they reached that house.

When she and Gaia started dating, she drafted her into her huge renovation project for the place. Many a free weekend was spent painting walls and refurbishing furniture. Lucretia felt it was the most direct way she could think of to let Gaia in on how her life was growing up. It worked too. Gaia enthusiastically embraced transforming the place into a real show stopper. Once she truly got on board (and more or less took over the reins), the house soon boasted a Jacuzzi, pool table and multi-car garage. Lucretia couldn’t be more proud of her vacation home. To her, the changes weren’t an effort to erase the past. Instead, it was an invitation to create beautiful new memories. When she told Gaia that, her lover just chuckled and said, “You wanted to make a gay wonderland.”

It turned out to be just that, although it wasn’t planned. The first couple of years after the renovation, Lucretia and Gaia vacationed there by themselves. Later on, they would invite family members-or try to at least. But one of Lucretia’s brothers moved to Australia after getting married and the other was mired in addiction. Gaia’s sister and her family came for one eventual Christmas week which involved a lot of screaming, vomit and a torn Basquiat. After that disaster, the women decided that they wanted to spend their vacations with family of their own choosing rather than one determined by blood. So in recent years, they would invite a few of their closest friends and their partners to spend time at their ‘gay wonderland’. They both agreed it was one of their better decisions.

Their oldest and closest friend was Barca, who also happened to be Lucretia’s lawyer. He had been together with a burly and handsome Australian transplant, Agron for almost five years. Agron had moved to Los Angeles in hopes of becoming an actor. He had managed to land a national commercial for all things, Foster’s Beer. Funny thing was, Agron loathed Foster’s describing it once as “swamp piss” and his success in commercials hampered his attempts to break into television and movies. Disillusioned, he used the money from the commercials to buy into a gym with another Aussie and sometime actor named Spartacus and a former MMA fighter named Crixus. The gym called, “The Ludus” located in Santa Monica was quite the success. Agron had allowed his image to be used in the gym’s advertising, which drove both customers and curiosity seekers to yell, “Hey, it’s the Foster’s guy!” at him and beg for pictures whenever he passed. He took it all in stride though, knowing that the “swamp piss” was in part responsible for the gym’s success.

Agron had introduced Lucretia to Saxa, one of the personal trainers at the gym after Lucretia decided to get in shape to run in a 5k for the Susan G. Komen Foundation. After her mother’s death from breast cancer, she was reeling and needed something to do to alleviate her grief. She was especially close to her mother and she thought that participating in the race would be a significant way to honor her. Too bad that at the time, Lucretia was so out of shape she could barely climb two flights of steps without heaving. Years of sipping fine wine and nibbling rich desserts had left her flabby and breathless. In Saxa, a petite but powerfully built blonde, she found a tough taskmaster who lent her expertise and her ear. There were many days when Lucretia would collapse in tears on the gym floor but Saxa would sit next her and rub her hand or her back until she gathered herself. Her sensitivity and kindness meant the world to Lucretia and as a result, she reached her goal weight ahead of schedule. When the race concluded, she found that she had finished a full five minutes ahead of her expected time. She was so thrilled; in gratitude she sent a picture of herself at the finish line and a bouquet of roses to Saxa. Saxa acknowledged her success by keeping the picture posted on her personal bulletin board at the gym. They had been friends ever since.

Saxa’s girlfriend Belesa could not have been more different. A human whirlwind made up of black hair and noise, Belesa was the ultimate party girl. She was wild, lewd and more fun that what was allowed. Despite those things, they liked her. There was an underlying vulnerability to Belesa that showed from time to time. Gaia was especially taken with the young woman because in many ways, Belissa reminded her of another life back in London when new wave music and cocaine were in excess. Whenever the two couples found time to hang out, the result was usually a long night filled with laughter, embarrassment and a hangovers suffered by all.

Rounding out their circle of friends was Nasir and his lover, Castus. Nasir was a paralegal at Barca’s former law firm and assisted with a couple of legal dilemmas Lucretia needed Barca’s help with. Slight of frame with bottomless brown eyes, Lucretia was drawn to his beauty as well as his quick wit and quiet nature. Theirs was a calming relationship forged by mutual pain. For behind Nasir’s eyes lay a sadness that he concealed from many with the exception of Lucretia. His boyfriend Castus was another matter. Raised in Brooklyn, New York by Nigerian parents, Castus possessed a sense of self-assuredness and street smarts that led to his success as one of the most sought after party planners on the West Coast. He had the manner of a salesman which led to most feeling that there was a lack of sincerity within him. However, his open manner still managed to put them at ease. Furthermore, he stood an attractive package. Muscular, with dark chocolate skin and piercing eyes, one could understand why he was able to bend others so easily to his will. Gaia often commented that she was surprised that Nasir and Castus had remained together for as long as they had-almost two years. Lucretia understood though, the power of the attraction of and from both. As often as Nasir and Castus fought, they could not manage to break free from one another. These three couples made up Lucretia and Gaia’s inner circle. And in less than two weeks they will all converge for a holiday weekend free from drama, deadlines and conflict. At least that’s what she hoped.

\--------------------

She stood in front of full length mirror that hung on the back of the bathroom floor and took inventory. Her dark brown hair freshly colored hid the gray forming at her crown. She noticed the crow’s feet were a little more deeply lined around her blue eyes. The frown lines settled near her mouth were a little more deeply set. Her lips looked thinner. She sighed and opened her bathrobe. The flesh at her throat hung a little more loosely. Her breasts seemed closer to her stomach than her chin. Her thighs dimpled unattractively. Her behind was starting to slope downward. Three days a week of yoga and Pilates only seemed to slow the inevitable. There was a time when she delighted in her naked reflection in the mirror. She remembered her face and body catching the attention of many, women and men alike. At six feet tall, she still struck an alluring figure. But as she took another view of her naked form, she knew that she was getting older. Time was catching up to her. Very soon it would be too late for to pursue the desire that had become an obsession with her.

She suddenly closed her bathrobe, pinned up her hair and turned out the light. She stepped into the bedroom and saw Gaia pouring over a new novel. She read voraciously, often commenting that a good book was almost as good as an orgasm, almost. When she caught Lucretia gazing at her she put her book down and beckoned her lover to her side. As Lucretia started to move closer to the bed, she held up her hand and said, “Take your robe off.”

“What?” Lucretia asked, with a little surprised.

“Take it off. I want to look at you properly.” Gaia answered with a sly grin.

“You see me naked all time.”

“And I enjoy every minute.” Gaia said with a genuine smile. “You look so beautiful in this light”.

Gaia was right. Lucretia looked luminous in the midst of the muted yellow light from the nightstand. The lines and dimples she looked upon so hatefully were smoothed away. Her skin took on a light amber glow and her eyes shone prominently. To Gaia, Lucretia was the same statuesque goddess who took her breath away all those years ago. The aforementioned goddess slid onto the bed and wrapped her arms around Gaia’s waist. She started with tiny nibbles at the neck, and then moved upwards where she placed little licks at the chin. Lastly, she claimed the lips with deep lingering kiss. Gaia closed her eyes and enjoyed Lucretia’s ministrations. This was much more interesting than her novel.

Lucretia paused a moment and looked at Gaia, “Did you enjoy that?” She asked.

“What do you think?” Gaia replied with a searing kiss of her own.

“It’s better than that book.” Lucretia declared.

“I am in agreement.” Gaia said with a chuckle. “I’m so glad you’re more relaxed now. You’ve been so distracted and tense lately.” She softened the impact of observation with gentle strokes down Lucretia’s prone form as she lay on her.

Lucretia snuggled deeper into Gaia’s arms. “I’ve been getting the last details of our vacation together. I’ve heard from everyone and they are all definitely ready to come.”

“Shit, no more than me.” Gaia murmured. “I’ve reached my quota of L.A. bullshit for this season. Plus, I’m looking forward to some steamy lesbian hot tub sex.”

“Ooh really?” Lucretia queried, raising her eyebrow. “Well, will you be alright with some really awesome lesbian bed sex for the time being?”

Gaia cupped one of Lucretia’s breasts gently and answered, “I definitely believe so.”

She dove in for another kiss while the novel slipped silently off the bed and fell to the floor.


	2. Day One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The couples meet at Lake Tahoe and the air is rife with tension. Who's mad at who? Who isn't mad at who? Gaia advocates the use of intimate aids. Agron's tshirt is awesome. Nair sucks at bluffing. Belesa spills the beans. Lucretia's trying to keep her house from being destroyed and everyone digs Paula Patton.  
> As Tim Gunn would say, "Carry on!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The chapter contains frank sexual discussions, drug and alcohol abuse, implied sexual relations and a lot of cursing (yayy!).

A flurry of dust and pebbles flew against the windshield of the Black Lexus SUV as Gaia turned a bit too sharply off the road onto the driveway of the cabin. As she slowed down towards the first garage door, Lucretia fumbled frantically for the garage door opener.

“Shit, I could have sworn I put in the glove compartment!” She said as she started pulling out all kinds of objects and placing them on the dash.  She fumed, “Of all the fucking things to forget.”

“Babe, “Gaia started.

“Are you sure you didn’t put it somewhere else?” Lucretia demanded.

“Hon,” Gaia began again.

“What?!”

“Check the sun visor, please.” Gaia said calmly.

Lucretia looked up to see the silver clamp of the garage door opener attached to the visor above her head. “Ah, thank goodness!” she exclaimed.  “You know I completely forgot that I put it up here because I didn’t want to forget it if I put in the glove box.” She snapped the opener off the visor, pointed it at the garage door and watched it lift up.

“I am glad I remembered the batteries,” She went on as Gaia drove in. “I wonder if I put batteries in the extra one! Oh shit! Did I bring extra batteries? Did I even bring the extra opener?!” She hopped out of the SUV even before it stopped and ran towards the back.

Gaia witnessed the mini panic attack in silence as she shut the engine off and disembarked herself.  She sighed and suddenly felt a sense of déjà vu with the following question. One she found herself asking every year, “Shouldn’t we think about flying in next year?”

Lucretia paused from digging into the trunk and looked at Gaia is surprise. “What? Why? The drive here is so relaxing. I love it! Don’t you?”

Gaia chortled and shook her head as she started the fun chore of loading bags of food, luggage and boxes of extra stuff Lucretia insisted upon packing into the house. The mid-morning sun was starting to blare through the windows illuminating the spectacular sight of the balcony right outside the kitchen. Gaia opened the glass doors and stepped out to get a better view. What met her was an expansive vista peppered with trees whose leaves still clung to the green of summer. Beyond it in the far distance, the lake shimmered inviting all to dive into its clear depths. No matter how many times she came to place, she was always overcome with the scene. She took a deep breath and stretched her arms. She felt like leaping off the balcony and flying through the tops of the trees as the tension drained from her body. She had a mind to sit on one of the lounge chairs and kick her shoes off before she heard,

“OH NO!!”

 “Hon, what happened?” Gaia asked as she peered from the doors.

“I think all the tomatoes smashed down the stairs!” Lucretia wailed. “Take this bag. I don’t want more to fall.”

Gaia rushed to recuse the remaining veggies from her lover’s arms as Lucretia bounded back down the back stairs to survey the damage.  “Sorry babe. I should have come back to help.”

Lucretia came back up, hands full of squashed tomatoes. “It’s okay. I carried too much as usual.” She said. “Although it does look like our salads might be missing a few things.”

Gaia left her fantasy of super heroine flying for the time being and lent her aid in getting everything ready for their guests. For the next half hour, they bustled back up and down the stairs. On one of the last trips, Lucretia noticed a netted bag containing several smaller bags of plastic tied with purple ribbons.

“Gaia, what are these?”

“Oh, gifts for everyone. Open one.”

Lucretia did as requested and gasped. The bag she held contained a small tube of lube, a bottle of body oil, a scented candle and a…feather.

“Really Gaia, what do you think we’re running here?”

Gaia feigned indignation. “C’mon! Lots of hotels and resorts leave gifts for guests like flowers or candies on the pillow. Why not leave sex aids?” She paused as Lucretia gave her a side long glance. “They’ll love it!”

Lucretia held up the bottle of body oil and read the label, “Vanilla Delight”.

“It’s the best flavor. Don’t you remember?”

“Ah, yes.” Lucretia responded in a low voice as she put the bottle down on the island that stood in the middle of the kitchen.

Gaia gestured to the slightly larger bag on the floor. “That one is ours.” Lucretia threw Gaia an uneasy look and picked up the bag. It held all the same contents as the others, just in larger sizes along with something else. Lucretia picked up the contraption and found a button at the end. She pushed it and the strange thing began vibrate to give off a whirring sound causing her to jump a bit.

“What in the entire fucking world?”

“You like it? Trust me, you will. It glows in the dark too,” Gaia whispered, while sideling next to Lucretia and attempting to bite her ear.

“Oh God.”

Gaia nibbled her earlobe. “Hopefully, you’ll be saying that again once we use it.”

Lucretia halfheartedly swatted Gaia away and noticed the last objects in the bag, earplugs. She held them up with and began to ask what they were for.

“Those are for practical reasons.  Saxa was way too loud last year.”

“Good thinking.” Lucretia quipped as Gaia licked her temple. Further play was interrupted by the ringing of the front doorbell.

“That’s probably Mr. Davis. Could you let him in Gaia?”

Gaia went to the large oak panel front doors and came back into the kitchen accompanied by slightly stooped man in his sixties. Lucretia managed to stuff the whirring toy back into the bag and out sight before he arrived.

“Good morning Mr. Davis. Good seeing you again.”

Mr. Davis had been looking after the place ever since her parents bought it. He and his wife provided their services, him handiwork, she housekeeping, for longtime residents and renters.

Mr. Davis smiled and clasped Lucretia’s hand in his perpetually grubby one. “Good to see you again Lucretia. I saw you drive in earlier so I’m stopping by to check and see if everything is in order.”

“Oh yes,” Lucretia said. “Thank you for getting the repairs done in time and please tell your wife she did a wonderful job getting the bedrooms and baths ready.”

“No problem at all. Now, let me know if the fridge is too cold for you. I set the temp really low after I cleaned out the back and everything. The thermostats on the hot tub are new, but tell me if you have any problems with the settings. “

“Of course. Can I get you some coffee or anything?”

“No, no. I had half a pot this morning and your joe would’ve been too weak for me anyway. My wife’s coffee is like rocket fuel.” Mr. Davis cackled.

“You’ve never told her that?” Gaia asked, her mouth quirking.

“No. I like peace in the mornings, thank you. It isn’t any better when I make it anyway. What’s this?” Mr. Davis asked as he reached for the bottle of Vanilla Delight body oil left on the island.

“Um that’s-“ Lucretia started, her eyes growing wide.

“It is body oil Mr. Davis. It’s an… intimate aid.” Gaia responded. Her expression was as gleeful as Lucretia’s was fearful.

“Oh right.” Mr. Davis said simply and put the bottle back down. He reached into the pocket of denim shirt that was just as grubby as his hands and gave a piece of folded paper to Gaia. “That’s the bill. You can slip the check in our mailbox.”

He started walking out the kitchen but then turned around and said, “The Missus and I always liked the ‘Cherry Ecstasy’. Take care, ladies!” With that, he waved, made his way out the kitchen, down the hall and out the front door.

Gaia and Lucretia were silent for a full twenty seconds before they collapsed with laughter.

\----------------------------------------------

It was a few minutes after twelve o’clock when the women heard the SUV drive up and the horn honk. Gaia rushed down the stairs and opened the garage door and a silver Honda Passport drove in.  As it came to a halt, Agron stuck his head out the driver’s window.

“Hey babe!” He shouted.

“Hey babe!” Gaia shouted back.

Belesa stuck her head out of the back window behind Agron and shouted, “Hey babe!”

Gaia laughed and shouted again, “HEY BABE!”

Saxa opened the door on the other side of Belesa and gathered Gaia in a remarkably strong hug. She kissed Gaia on the cheek and then whispered in her ear, “Hey babe.”

Gaia giggled but before she could respond she was almost thrown off balance by Belesa who rushed into her arms.

“It’s good to see you, hon. It’s been ages.” Belesa cried.

“I know! I’m so glad you could make it.”

“My boss isn’t but who gives a shit?” Belesa cracked.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah, we’ve had six hours of hearing about the pig of a boss from hell. Let the woman breathe.” Agron said as he lifted Gaia up and gave her a bear hug.

Lucretia was down in the garage by that time greeting Saxa and Belesa.  She stopped short when a tall, brown figure walked up to her.

“Barca?”

Although it wasn’t the Barca she remembered. In the six months since they had last seen each other face to face, his appearance had radically changed. Gone was the short, professional haircut. Instead, his hair was nearly shoulder length and pulled back from his face with a leather thong. His usually clean shaven face was now covered by a scruffy beard. Gone were the polo shirts and expensive sandals. In their wake, Barca sported a pair of wrinkled cargo shorts, a ratty t-shirt and worn down beach sandals.

“What?” He asked. At least he sounded the same. “You don’t recognize me or something?” He smiled.

“That’s not it.” Lucretia began trying to recover from the shock of friend’s appearance. “It’s just a different look for you. Wouldn’t you say?’

He gave her a hug. “It’s a better one.”

“Right”, Agron interrupted and planted a kiss on Lucretia’s cheek. The sarcasm was not lost on Lucretia as she kissed him back.

“Well, let’s get everything in and get you guys settled. Gaia’s started lunch so it should be ready by the time you unpack everything.” Lucretia said as she took a small burlap sack from Saxa’s hands. “Let’s go shall we?”

“Great, as long as my room isn’t next to Saxa’s.” Agron said.

“Shut up!” Saxa shouted and elbowed him the ribs.

Gaia gave Lucretia a meaningful glance as she started helping Belesa up the stairs with her luggage.

\--------------------------------------------------------------

Agron was fishing around the refrigerator shelf trying to find a spot for his imported German beer when Gaia noticed the t-shirt he was wearing.

“Stop a minute.” She said.

“What?”

“That shirt. It’s brilliant!”

“Ahaaa!” Agron grinned, the deep dimples in his cheeks appearing. “You like?” he asked as he made a three sixty turn in the middle of the kitchen.

“It’s great! Who thought it up?”

“Me. Well, mostly me. Spartacus helped a bit.”

The t-shirt that adorned Agron’s massive upper body was black with white lettering that on the front said:

~~Beer Gut~~

~~Thunder Thighs~~

~~Flabby Arms~~

**KILL THEM ALL!**

 

And on the back:

At

**The Ludus**

2300 Ocean Blvd., Santa Monica, CA.

 

“They’re selling faster than a celebrity sex tape. We’re almost out, but I might have a couple in my bag for the hostesses.” Agron said beaming.

“Well thank you very much, Agron. I’ll make sure I wear it whenever I work out.” Gaia replied.

“That’s what I want to hear and you are very welcome. Need help with that?” Agron asked pointing to the huge bowl that contained a pasta salad.

“Oh yes, please. Set it on the table on the balcony. I’ll call everyone down to eat.”

“No problem.”

As Agron made his way out to the balcony, Gaia walked towards the staircase which led to the third level.

“Lunch is ready!” she shouted.

Seconds later Saxa and Belesa descended arm in arm giggling like school girls. As they reached the bottom stair where Gaia was, Belesa stopped and said, “There’s some kind of whirring sound coming from your bedroom. Any idea what it is?”

Gaia lowered her head for a moment to stifle a laugh. “It’s probably Lucretia testing out new appliances.” She replied.

Saxa gave her a confused look but Belesa started to laugh herself.

“It looks like she’s started without you!”

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------

The start of lunch was quiet as everyone enthusiastically dug into in the pesto panini sandwiches and pasta salad Gaia made.  Agron steadfastly refused the homemade berry tea and white wine provided, insisting instead on downing one of his German beers.

“That’s how I honor my heritage.” He said after a gulp.

Belesa emptied her glass of Chardonnay and motioned to Saxa who was sitting across from her to refill her glass. Saxa in turn pushed the bottle further down the table away from her.

Gaia was looking at Barca carefully not knowing how to start the conversation she was dying to have. She and Lucretia were very curious as to why he quit his job and his current appearance led to speculation that something serious was going on with him. She fiddled with her salad a bit as he polished off his sandwich. She then cleared he throat.

“So Barca, how have you been? What have you been up to since you resigned?” She asked.

Agron’s jaw visibly tightened as Barca answered with a laugh, “Not much.”

He continued, “But I’m happier than I’ve been in a long time. There comes a point when you realize everything that you have been taught, been groomed for, is complete and utter bullshit. They tell you to go to school, study hard, get a degree, to do what? Be a corporate shill? Be a cog in some capitalist machine?  Your worth isn’t in the things you do, but the in the amount of money you make? You don’t matter if you can’t get ahead and if you want to get ahead you have to curb stomp everyone in your path to get there. Then you have to give some shit eating grin while selling impossible dreams and shit that kills people or poisons our planet. So if you want to know why I just walked away, I’ll say that I finally woke up.”

There was a dead silence. Everyone was staring at Barca except Agron who looked out towards the trees while working his jaw into a tighter bind.

He stood up suddenly, grabbed his empty bottle and asked no one particular, “Anyone else want a drink?”

Belesa answered, “Could you bring some more wine out?”

Saxa glared at her but said nothing.

“Agron,” Lucretia began, startled by her friend’s abruptness.

“What? Oh that? I’ve heard it for the last six months. No need to hear it again.” He left the table and strode back into the kitchen.

“Is it safe to say that Agron still isn’t happy with your decision?” Gaia quipped.

“That would be accurate.” Barca confirmed.

There was another silence. Belesa got up and made her way to the doors. Before she opened them, she saw Agron standing by the kitchen sink absently holding a wine bottle. She opened them and stepped inside with just a bit of trepidation. Agron’s temper was legendary.

Belesa moved carefully to his side and plucked the bottle from his hands. “Let me take that before you throw it against the wall.”

“I would have done just that if I thought it would have made a shit load of difference.” Agron gritted out.

“I had no idea it was THAT bad.”

“Yeah it is. Now I have to sit around and watch him feed that line of horseshit to our friends when they have no idea what it’s been like the last six months.”

“I mean, he said he’s happier than he’s ever been.” Belesa said quietly.

“Sure because he’s done nothing Bee, _nothing_. He’s checked out completely. He doesn’t give a shit about anything, his looks, his smell, bills, or me.” The last phrase was tinged with enough pain to make Belesa wince.

“Do you know we went an entire week without running water because he just ‘forgot’ to pay the bill? I had to resort to taking showers at the gym and eating out every day. That bastard just shrugged like it wasn’t a big deal. Who does that? He’s sprouting off all this nonsense because he thinks it justifies his refusal to take responsibility for anything. In the meantime, I’m trying to keep gas in the truck, lights on in the house, cable, internet, all this shit while he sits around smoking weed all day and contemplating the meaning of life!”

He stopped and took a deep breath. His pale green eyes were gleaming and Belesa knew immediately that he had been waiting for months to unload. She touched his arm and rubbed his bicep.

“You haven’t talked to anyone about this?”

“I didn’t want to be the asshole for a change, hilarious huh?”

Belesa clicked her tongue, “Agron I’m so sorry.”

“Thanks.” He said as he touched her face. “I hope something changes. I can’t go on this way.” He turned, grabbed his beer bottle and the wine and started back out towards the balcony. Belesa started toward the stairs.

“Where are you going?” He stepped back assuming that she was following him out.

“I have to drain the main vein. My bladder’s all off because _someone_ decided that there would be no bathroom breaks on the drive here.”

“We made it on time, though.” Agron answered with a half smirk.

“Whatever.”  She called out behind her and bounded up the stairs.

When she reached the hallway bathroom, she dug into the purse she retrieved from her and Saxa’s shared quarters. She pulled out a prescription bottle, opened it and shook out a small white pill. She paused before shaking out another one. She popped both in her mouth and then stuck it under the faucet. She swallowed roughly and shuddered.  Closing her eyes, she sniffed and smoothed the hair from her face. When she opened them again, she looked at her reflection in the mirror and tried to smile. She found that she couldn’t.

Gaia picked up her vibrating phone and read the text. “Okay, I’m off to the airport. Nasir and Castus have landed.”  She gave Barca a significant look and said, “We’ll talk some more later.”

“I’ve got nothing but time.” He joked.

“Where’s Belesa?” asked Saxa

“Bathroom,” Agron answered. “She had the nerve to complain she couldn’t tinkle on the drive up here.”

“Considering your suggestion that if we had to piss we needed to use an empty soda bottle, I understand why.”  Saxa said rolling her eyes.

“We got here _on time_!” Agron reiterated.

“You’re not driving next year.” Saxa mumbled.

“If there is a next year,” Agron mumbled back.

“Gotta go!” Gaia called and left the balcony.

While Agron and Saxa continued to snipe at each other, Lucretia leaned in closer to Barca and stated. “That was a nice speech. How is it, really?”

Barca gave her the briefest of glances and answered, “Pretty bad.”

“Darling, what happened? This is so unlike you. You were the first to throw your hat in the ring and fight for what you thought was right, no matter what the cause. It just seems like you’ve given up.”

“I did but I’m tired, Lucretia. What’s the point of fighting for a cause you can’t win?” He looked at Agron meaningfully.  Agron determinedly ignored him.

Lucretia had nothing else to say and sipped her wine.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

They heard them before they saw them.  Agron raised his head and glanced towards the doors from his lounge chair. By the time Nasir and Castus appeared, they were in full fury mode with each glaring daggers at one another.

“Oh, here you are!” Lucretia approached and reached for Nasir first.

“Hey pretty lady, good to see you.” He said as he gave her a big hug.

“How was your flight?” She asked as she hugged and kissed Castus.

“It was expensive, late and turbulent.” Castus answered with a grimace.

Nasir turned from being greeted by Saxa and snapped, “We could’ve taken a car as I suggested fifty-eleven times.”

“Six or seven hours in a car with you, I’ll take a plane every time.” Castus threw back.

“Hey, stop griping and give me a kiss.” Belesa said before Nasir could retort and wrapped her arms around him.

Agron’s greeting towards Castus was less affectionate. They shook hands with tight smiles and perfunctory ‘hellos’. Out of the entire circle, the two men never seemed to warm to one another. Castus thought Agron was a nice guy, but too loud and quick tempered to be around for any length of time. Agron thought Castus was all style with no substance and one of the least interesting people he had ever met.

They released hands quickly and Barca made his move. Castus stepped back in mock surprise and exclaimed, “Barca! Man, I thought you fell off the face of the earth. What’s going on?”

“Hey Castus, good to see you too,” Barca chuckled and shook his head.

“Well give me hug. Damn, you sure have changed.”

“That he has.” Nasir answered surveying his former mentor. “What is this, surf dude realness?”

“You’ve always been funny.” Barca chuckled again. “I’ve moved on. I’m off that dog-eat-dog shit.”

“Well you know I was never really on it. I do like your hair, though.” Nasir said after they hugged. He ran his hand through his own long locks. Barca threw back his head and gave a hearty laugh.

“It does fit you.” Agron said emphasizing the, “you”.

“Heeey!” Nasir grinned and threw his arms around the big Aussie. “How the fuck have you been?”

“Awesome mate, how the fuck have you been?” Agron answered with his eyebrow raised, each understanding the meaning behind their greeting.

“Peachy.” Nasir said with smile loaded with malice.

Agron let go and said, “Uh-huh” with a grin.

Lucretia put her hands on Castus and Nasir’s shoulders to get their attention. “We some lunch left and plenty of drinks ready for you after you unpack. I think your room is the last one on the right.”

“Yeah next to Saxa’s,” Agron added gleefully. Saxa gifted that remark with a snarl.

“Thanks.” Nasir answered. “Let’s go,” he told Castus.

Once they left, Gaia heaved an exaggerated sigh and flopped down on the nearest chair. “My God,” She exclaimed.

“What?” Lucretia asked.

“Those two have been bitching at each other from the moment they stepped inside my car.”

Agron inquired, “Really?”

“I don’t know what’s going on, but we might have to start giving time outs.” Gaia responded.

“What a difference a year makes.” He said as put his sunglasses back on and resumed his place in his lounge chair.

“They aren’t the only ones.” Lucretia said.

“Whatever do you mean?” Agron asked in mock surprise as he delicately touched his chest.

“She means you, dolt.” Saxa piped up.

“I fail to grasp the sentiment. I’m the epitome of self-control and restraint.” Agron said in a snooty voice.

The collective snort from the others carried throughout the late summer air.

\-------------------------------------------------------------

Castus made way downstairs towards the kitchen to the sight of Agron and Barca having a furious but silent fight by the stove. He averted his head and started towards the third level staircase when he heard Agron whisper rather loudly, “You want to do this? Please by all means. Take charge of something for once!”

Barca gripped the ladle he was holding in a death grip and glared at Agron. Castus had a feeling Barca was doing everything in his power and beyond not to bash Agron over the head with it. He quickened his pace and made it down to the game room where Saxa, Nasir and Belesa were gathered around the pool table.

“Agron is going to be pissed you’re drinking his fancy beer.” Belesa said.

“I know,” Saxa replied. “That’s why I’m doing it.”

“I wouldn’t mess with Agron right now. He’s in a mood.” Castus said.

“When isn’t he?” Saxa asked as she lined her stick for a shot.

“I don’t know they looked like they were close to blows up there.” Castus answered.

Nasir queried,“For serious?”.

“Well,” Belesa began. “You guys weren’t here but it was pretty obvious they’re going through something really serious. I even talked to Agron after he stormed out and he’s in a lot of pain.”

Saxa straightened up, shot forgotten and looked at Belesa. “What did he say?"

Belesa recalled her conversation with Agron to the others and afterwards, they all shared a look of concern. Saxa’s brows furrowed deeply while she wondered silently why Agron never confided all this to her. Even though they picked at each other constantly, they were as close as siblings or so she thought.

“Damn. You never know what people are going through. I don’t know if I could go six months with that kind of bullshit.” Castus said.

“They’ve been together for years though. It’s kinda hard to just walk away after all that time. ” Saxa said.

"I mean, after a while you gotta know when shit’s not working and peace it all out.” Castus remarked.

“You seem pretty firm in that conviction.” Nasir said, frowning.

Castus looked at Nasir, sighed and waved his hand nonchalantly.

He went on, “Changing subjects. What’s up with you sexy ladies? Bee, you still the baddest bartender in the West?”

Belesa raised her wine glass, and smiled. Saxa plucked it from her fingers and put it on bar next to the pool table.

Belesa tried to look offended. “You better believe it! In fact, a couple of weeks ago I was working this exclusive event for Robin Thicke. I guess he was so impressed with my skills he invited me to hang out with him and his entourage at the after-party.”

Oooh, okay. Get it bitch, get it.” Castus said laughing.

“I’m impressed. I need to learn to whip up a White Russian or something.” Nasir added.

“Yeah,” Belesa continued. “Too bad I was hot for his wife instead of him.”

“Ooh man, she is smoking.” Saxa said as she banked her shot. Nasir groaned.

“I tell you, I’m strictly dickly but Paula Patton will make a brother like me think some things. You feel me?”

“Dude, Paula Patton will make anyone question everything.” Nasir joked and the rest broke out in laughter.

Gaia appeared at the top of the stairs and called, “What’s so funny and why am I not in on it?”

“Sleeping beauty appears!” Belesa called back as Gaia descended and made her way to the edge of the of the couch that dominated the center of the room.

“And sleeping beauty was reminded that she has been up since nearly 3 A.M.” Gaia said, smiling tiredly. “Lucretia is still out. She gets herself so worked up sometimes and then she crashes spectacularly.”

“But then she’ll be up all night.” Belesa said, waggling he eyebrows.

“If that was the plan, then it would have worked.” Gaia responded, cackling.

“Hey,” Castus said to Gaia, “You haven’t had to break up any fist fights yet?”

“Barca and Agron? They were playing nice when I passed, but I do have some rope just in case things get serious.”

Castus grinned and said, “Good to know, kinky lady.”

After Saxa banked another shot, Nasir tossed his stick on the table and announced, “I’m tired too.”

“Tired of getting your ass kicked. Yeah, I finished that sentence for you.” Saxa mocked.

Nasir nodded and moved away from the table, “Whomp, whomp, whomp.”  He said in his wake. He sat down beside Gaia and wrapped his arm around her shoulder. Gaia took in the sight of her young friend. He was as handsome as ever, but he looked thinner than when she had seen him last. His features were a bit pinched and she noticed a frown line forming between his eyebrows. To her, he had the look of someone who had been battling a great deal of unhappiness for quite a while. She chose to keep her observations to herself and instead took his hand in her own and held it tightly. He squeezed her hand in return. That small gesture told her as much as she needed to know.

She shifted her gaze to Castus who took Nasir’s place as Saxa’s victim. His manner seemed untroubled and comfortable as if he neither had no idea nor didn’t care what his partner was going through. He started to laugh loudly at some silly comment from Belesa about him and Nasir and Gaia noticed that Nasir visibly winced.

“Great.” she mused silently, “Another couple in deep trouble.”

Agron poked his head over the landing and announced dinner was ready.

Castus threw his stick on the pool table and bragged, “Shit, just when I was about to kick your ass Saxa.”

“Oh please and then you woke up. You’re as bad as Nasir.” She cried.

“Well damn. Saxa: 1 Dignity: 0.” Nasir cracked.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Despite the apparent conflict involved in making the dinner, no one could say that the braised tilapia, seasoned baked sweet potatoes and flash grilled asparagus wasn’t a success. Everyone raved and had their fill. Afterwards, the table was cleared and the cards and poker chips were sitting in the center of the dining room table.

It was time for their annual, not so serious poker tournament. The stakes were high. The player with the largest pot after eleven rounds got to choose a humiliating task for the player with the smallest pot. Last year, Barca won and chose Agron to run around outside the house naked in the dead of night screaming, “I’m a hungry bottom!” Agron’s shameful losing display was shared by everyone at the gym by way of Saxa’s iPhone photos of the event. Agron didn’t speak to her for three days. There was no way he was going to lose this year. If he did manage to win, he had the perfect revenge in mind for petite blonde.

Thinking about his anticipated revenge, he began to smirk. He chanced a look at his nemesis and found his smirk being returned. His smirk turned in a sneer. He pointed his finger at her and said, “You’re going down, Blondie.”

She scoffed and said, “I hope you waxed your ass because you’re going to be showing it again by night’s end.”

Lucretia giggled as she viewed her hand. “Oh yeah, I’ve got something special in mind.” She leaned her head over so that she could see Nasir at the end.

“Not gonna happen, pretty lady." Nasir replied. “I’ve got a stra-te-gy. Besides, who would have it out for me? Everyone adores me.”

Castus sniffed ,“Says you and you only.”. Nasir rolled his eyes and threw out his chips for the blind call.

By the fifth hand, the competition was still tight. Agron held a slight lead while Nasir and Belesa were battling to save the remainder of their chips. Belesa’s concentration was a bit lacking due to the fact that she had polished off half a bottle of Johnnie Walker Blue (a gift for all from Gaia) on her own. As the evening progressed, her speech became more slurred and her movements more clumsy. Nasir thought he finally had a winnable hand but made the mistake of raising too much and too early. All the others caught on and folded right away, leaving him with a diamond flush and a measly 150 dollars in new chips.

“Damn!” he exclaimed and scooped the chips into his pile with little joy.

“Nasir, I gotta tell you as your friend,” Agron began.

“What?” Nasir demanded.

“You are the worst bluffer ever.” Agron finished, laughing.

“True that.” Castus added unnecessarily.

Nasir looked at his boyfriend and huffed, “Well, it’s apparent that I’m not as good as lying as some others.”

“Oh here we go.” Castus said with a sigh.

“And when did you start agreeing with Agron on anything?”

“Because even Agron can see that there a lot of things you suck at.” Castus retorted.

Agron looked taken aback and watched Nasir’s slow burn.

Belesa then blurted out, “Why don’t you all just have threesome and get it over with?”

The table then erupted.

“Whoa!”

“What the fuck?”

“Where did that come from?”

“That was random as hell.”

“Oh come on pussies. You’re not prudes. Go on, relieve all that sexual tension!” Belesa said with a hiccup.

“Well, she is right. None of us are prudes. We all have the tire tracks to prove it.” Gaia said giggling.

“Tell it then, Freak-A-Leek.” Castus challenged, putting down his cards. Everyone laughed.

“Threesomes are great. They are a way to relieve tension and spice things up. I’ve always enjoyed them.” Gaia said as she sipped her drink.

“And do you concur, Lucretia?” Castus asked looking at her.

“Well um,” More laughter ensued. “Yes. Yes I would.”

The laughter and yelling swelled.

“But, but…” Lucretia shouted over the rancor. “Gaia and I haven’t participated in one since we’ve been together.”

Saxa burst out, “Really? Why?”

“Well, we’ve never really saw the need too. I was always quite satisfied. Gaia is very creative.”

Gaia raised her glass and cheered herself.

“What about you Barca?” Belesa shouted.

The table then gave a collective, “OOH!” Barca gave a shy grin and a shrug.

“I mean, what can I say? I was in my twenties. My mind was full with fucking and my pockets were full with condoms. That’s it.”

Everyone squealed at Agron’s confused face.

He asked ,“Seriously?”

Nasir threw a chip at Agron, “Why are you shocked. What about you?”

“Oh please!” Saxa scoffed. “Agron would never think to get into all that dirty deliciousness. He would mess up his hair.”

“Okay, how the fuck would you know?" Agron demanded. “For your information-“

“Yes?” Saxa queried skeptically.

“I…I witnessed one once.”

Sniggering was heard all around.

“You _witnessed_?” Gaia spluttered.

“Look, it was my birthday and some blokes from school took me to this place. There was a chair in front of a bed and then some naked guys showed up and did their thing and I watched.” Agron said, his face getting redder in embarrassment after each word.

The response was immediate and predictable.

“You didn’t jump in?” Saxa asked

“Did you take pictures?” Belesa offered

“Did you jack off at least?” Gaia chimed in.

Agron slammed his hands hard on the table but he was laughing. “I didn’t know they were going to do that! If I did, I would have been prepared, I guess.”

“So, you were just content to be an old voyeur like those dudes at the sex shop.” Castus prodded. Saxa howled.

“What about you?” Agron asked with an edge to his voice.

“No.” Castus began to a round of boos. “No. No. No. You don’t want to hear it. It is not exciting in the least.” More boos.

“I’m serious. It was pitiful.” Castus tried again.

“C’mon. You can’t poke and then pull out.” Gaia chided.

“Yeah, he can.” Nasir said with a chortle.

Another “OOOH!” came from the table’s occupants.

Castus shook his head back and forth and gave Nasir a, ‘You are SO done’ look. He began. “It was back in college. We thought we knew what we were doing because we all saw the same porno flick but it turned out to be amateur night at the porno.”

Belesa guffawed.

“It was!” Castus started laughing again. “No one could figure out where to put what, who supposed to touch who. Who puts their legs where. Then the other two got into a fight. I said, “fuck it”, went home and made a sandwich.”

Peals of laughter rang all around the room.

“You were right, Castus.” Saxa said wiping tears with the heels of her hands. “That was pathetic.”

“Well no need to ask if you’ve had one.” Agron groused.

“No there isn’t. I’ve had them. Bee’s had them and we’ve had them together.” Saxa said triumphantly.

Belesa slurred , “Yep, just last week.”.

Saxa poked her.

“Don’t leave us hanging!” Castus said. “C’mon details, Madame X!”

“I suddenly need to be in another room.” Agron interrupted and started to get up from the table.

“Why don’t you want to know?” Belesa said as she swayed unsteadily in her chair. “You know him.”

“Belesa! Jeez!” Saxa shouted.

“I’m sure I don’t.” Agron said with an uneasy look at Saxa.

“Sure you do. It’s Gannicus.” Belisa said giggling.

“Aw fuck.” Saxa cried and slid down in her chair.

Agron stood frozen where he stood and blinked several times. “Gannicus. Gannicus, your employers’ oldest friend?” He demanded as he looked straight at Saxa.

Saxa sighed and finally said, “Yes, that Gannicus. Spartacus doesn’t know. He doesn’t need to know because you won’t tell him will you?”

Agron cried, “Hell no! _I_ don’t even want to know.”

“This has been the most interesting game in _ages._ ” Gaia chuckled out.

The rest of the table chuckled with her.

Belesa whirled her arms about and said sloppily, “De secrut is out! We fugg a man for fun and he’s your frien!”

“Someone needs a little help.” Nasir said slowly.

“I’m fine. I’m fine.” Belesa said and tried to stand up. Saxa tried to grab her arm but Belesa pulled away. In the effort and because of her lack of balance, Belesa crashed to the floor.

Saxa closed her eyes, her humiliation obvious.

Nasir who was sitting beside her got up and attempted to pick her up. “C’mon, “he grunted. “Up you get.” Belesa’s legs refused to cooperate and Lucretia lent a hand and tried to pull her up from under her arms. Belesa finally got her legs to move and stood unsteadily, swaying back and forth.

“Let’s get you to bed.” Lucretia said putting one of Belesa’s arms around her shoulder while Nasir put her other one around his. Saxa remained rooted to her chair with her arms crossed, frowning.

Belesa managed a few paces with her helpers before she started to struggle. She began to pull away and then yelled, “Let me go!” Nasir and Lucretia immediately released her and she stood at the foot of the stairs to the upper landing, heaving.

“I can wal’ myself. “

“Honey,” Lucretia said her eyes full of sadness. “We just don’t want you to hurt yourself.”

“I’m naat an invalid!” Belesa shouted.

“We didn’t say you were.” Nasir said fearfully. He thought to himself, “What the hell is wrong with this girl?”

“I’m naat an invalid,” Belesa said again. “Not like muh mother.”

From the table, Saxa put her head in her hands but didn’t move.

Lucretia shared an uncomfortable look with Nasir. “No,” she said. “Not like your mother. We’re just going to walk up behind you to make sure you don’t fall. Okay?”

“Mmmkay.”

Belesa turned slowly and started up the steps. As she did, Lucretia asked Nasir to switch on the light. As Belesa made her painfully slow ascent up the stairs, the others stood around the table, too shocked to move or speak. Once Belesa reached the halfway point, she started to sway again and tried to reach the bannister nearest the wall to regain her bearings. She overreached and swiped her hand across a picture frame that was attached there. The frame swung downward, leaned over the bannister and crashed against the steps spraying Belesa, Lucretia and Nasir with glass and wood.

“Oh god!” Gaia shouted and ran towards Lucretia.

Agron ran towards Nasir and helped him up. Once Nasir confirmed that he wasn’t hurt, they started towards Belesa who was sprawled over three steps. Her tanned legs splayed at odd angles.

“Bee, are you alright?” Agron asked as he attempted to roll her over.

“Mm…fine.” She mumbled. “Gunna sleep here tonight.”

Agron sighed in exasperation. “No, “He said. “You’re going to go to your own bed.”

Barca then brushed past both Nasir and Agron and scooped Belesa up easily.

“C’mon. I’m taking you to bed.” He said. His tall frame disappearing as Belesa dangled from his arms.

“Oh shit,” Castus breathed out.

Nasir went over to Lucretia and Gaia to help them pick up the pieces of the shattered picture frame. He saw the picture contained inside was a watercolor painted by Lucretia herself. It was of the vista from the balcony.

Agron walked over to Saxa who still remained in her seat.

“How long has this been going on?” He asked.

Saxa looked at him and answered, “Every night for the past month.”

\--------------------------------------------------------------------

Barca laid Belesa gently on the bed and took off her shoes. He thought she was knocked out but she opened her eyes and mumbled, “Ha’ too much to drink again.”

“Yeah, I would say so.”

“Sowwy, won’t happen again.” She blinked slowly.

“What about the drugs Belesa?”

“Huh?”

“You’re on other stuff. Don’t think I didn’t notice all those trips to the bathroom.”

Belesa rubbed her face roughly with her hands. She sniffed and finally said, “Is jus’ some pills…or some coke if I can’ get the pills.” She held up her hands.

“I don’ have a promlem.” She looked at Barca plaintively as if she were trying to get him to believe her, considering her current state. “It won’ happen agin.”

Barca tapped her leg and stood up. “Get some sleep Belesa.” He started to open the door when he heard her call his name.

“Yeah?”

“Than’ yew.”

“Goodnight, Bee.”

\------------------------------------------------------------------

Nasir was perched at the head of the bed drying his hair with a towel. Castus finished undressing and slid under the covers beside him.

“Where did you go after everything went down?” Nasir asked without looking up.

“I had to get some air. That shit was unreal. I’ve seen Belesa lit before, but not like that.”

“You needed an hour’s worth of air? Without helping clean up?”

Castus sighed. This song and dance was old as hell. “I had some calls to make and some emails to answer. I didn’t know you needed me by your side to brush away the glass from your hair and all.”

“Obfuscation coupled with sarcasm. Nice combo.” Nasir still didn’t look at him.

“It’s not like you would have wanted me too, anyway.”

“Now it’s Castus the victimized.”

Nasir put the folded the towel on the nightstand and slid into bed. He turned his back to Castus and closed his eyes. Castus looked at the back facing him. He looked over at the nightstand nearest to him where the bag of goodies lay and then back at Nasir.

“That’s it?”

“That’s it.”

“The goodie bag!”

“Goodnight.”

Nasir reached up and turned out the lamp.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Gaia and Lucretia were spooned together in the middle of their massive bed in the master bedroom. They silently twined their hands together too deep in their own thoughts to speak. Each reflected on the day’s events and wondered how the relationships of their friends deteriorated so rapidly. Last year, everyone seemed so much in love, so much in control. But today, they could barely conceal their contempt for one another.

Gaia sighed and let her thoughts drift to Belesa. Lucretia lingered on the memory of the lost look in Barca’s eyes. Gaia remembered Nasir’s painful wince as Castus ridiculed him. Lucretia recalled how often Agron’s jaw tightened whenever Barca spoke. There was so much pain in each expression and gesture. They were at a loss as to what to do.

Gaia closed her eyes and kissed the pulse point of Lucretia’s wrist. She lay still and allowed her breaths to fall into time with beat of Lucretia’s pulse. Lucretia held Gaia tighter and kissed her shoulder. Their naked bodies melded and shifted together, not in a sexual way but in a deeper expression of intimacy. A way that said, “ _Your joy is my joy. Your pain is my pain. You are a part of me and I am a part of you. Always”_

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Agron lay on his back in the darkness fighting the temptation to shift to a more comfortable position. He could never sleep well in any bed other than his own and he missed his memory foam mattress. He knew once he started moving, he would wake up Barca and he wasn’t in the mood for any more conversation.

He was stunned to hear about the extent of Belesa’s drug and alcohol problem and wondered how aware Saxa was. She looked damn near comatose sitting at the dining room table. He knew too well of the denial that can go on when a loved one is a drunk and a drug addict. He stuck his head sand long enough with regards to his brother, Duro.  He made it a point to get Saxa to talk in the morning.

It’s not like he needed to add anything to his plate at the moment. Things were crazy at the gym with the expansion at the current location and the scouting for the new one. Money was getting tighter the longer Barca was out of work. Crixus was planning to ask his girl, Naevia to marry him during the expansion celebration and Agron was put in charge of party planning. His SUV needed a new timing belt. He had to complete his Green Card application process. Him having to talk to Gannicus, knowing that he was sleeping with Saxa AND Belesa. It just went on and on.

Barca sighed and stirred in his sleep. Argon turned his head slightly and held his breath until Barca stilled again. Of course his wreck of a relationship was on top of his priority list or at least it should be. Lately, Agron had used any excuse possible not to dwell upon it but after the water bill fiasco, he knew it was time to make a decision. He was surprised when Barca agreed to come with him on this vacation seeing as lately, they hadn’t seen eye to eye on anything. Maybe Barca was thinking it was  decision time too.

They had sex earlier, not out of a desire to make things right. Agron knew better than to think that was the reason. It was no more than a need that hadn’t been fulfilled in weeks. Agron found it deeply unsatisfying.  Sure, his body responded at the right time but he felt nothing. He likened it to his club days when he would luck out at take some hot, anonymous stranger to bed. He turned to look at his boyfriend of five years and felt like he had just made love with a stranger.

He shifted ever so slightly to his right and let out a frustrated sigh. More things he was sure of, he wasn’t comfortable and he wasn’t going to get any sleep.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Saxa stared for what seemed like an eternity at the prone form on the other side of the bed. Belesa had not moved since she entered. She would not have known what to say even if Belesa wasn’t blacked out. She was dead tired but couldn’t bring her eyes to close. She couldn’t bear to be in the same room with Belesa. The drinking, her mother’s stroke, the lack of direction in both their lives. It was all too much.

She grabbed her pillow and the extra throw blanket at the bottom of the bed and made her way to the door. She crept silently down the hall and went downstairs all the way to the lower level and lay on the couch. She closed her eyes and tried to still the chaos in her head for at least a few hours.


	3. Day Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Day 2 and you would think things would get better for our couples. They don't. Belesa is all smiles but Lucretia isn't falling for the hype. Castus loses his shorts and Nasir loses his temper. Barca offers advice and Agron has news. Contents of the goodie bag may or may not have been used in this chapter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Ibo is the language of the Ibjo people of Nigeria. Castus is bilingual.  
> *Do I even really need to explain what Sallie Mae is? Anyone who has completed a graduate degree is fully aware of the Sallie Mae Student Loan company.
> 
> This chapter contains mild sexual situations and more cursing.

Day 2

Agron scrunched his face and opened an eye when he heard the faint sound of whirring that came from downstairs. He silently cursed the fact that he was such a light sleeper. He lifted his head slowly and trained his eyes (now both opened), to the cell phone on the nightstand. He picked it up and pressed the power button, 5:30 A.M. it flashed. He grunted and sat up, knowing there was no way in hell he was going to be able to go back to sleep. Only one person he knew in the house got up at the crack of dawn; Saxa.

The banana, kelp, pomegranate juice and wheat germ concoction churned heavily in the mixer as Saxa yawned and held the “start” button down. It was a greenish brown mess that landed rather heavily in the throat when one drank it, but she loved it and made it every morning. She knew it was way too early to be up at that time of day during vacation, but years of discipline made it impossible to break the habit. Vacation or no vacation, she was going to get up at dawn, make her energy drink and then head out for a run.

She turned her head at the sound of heavy shuffling to her right, Agron had entered looking as if had spent the night reclining on a bed of nails. She said, “Good Morning,” and the only response she got was a growl. Agron went to cupboard behind the island where she stood and started to reach for the bag of ground coffee when Saxa suggested he try a bit of her morning drink.

Agron turned and looked at the lumpy offerings and shook his head. “No. Coffee.” He said.

“C’mon. Try it. You’ll feel a hell of a lot more energized drinking this than a load of caffeine.”

“I don’t want to feel energized. I just want to feel slightly less murderous.”

“You don’t know what you’re missing.”

Agron peered again at the contents in the mixer. “Yes I do know; a mouthful of swill.”

“Get bent,” Saxa sneered. “It’s more for me then.”

“Have at it. No one and I mean NO ONE is going to stop you.”

Agron was no fool. He had been cajoled years earlier by Saxa to try one of her “energy” drinks.  He still shuddered at the memory of the taste. It was a combination of hell and vomit, sweetened with a dash of sugar. He was not eager to ruin the relationship with his stomach again.

It was quiet while Agron filled the coffee maker reservoir with water. Once he finished, he took a deep breath and asked, “How’s Belesa?” _What better time to ask than now?_ , he thought.

“I don’t know.”

Agron looked over his shoulder at her with wide eyes, “What do you mean you don’t know? You went up to your room with her last night. You didn’t stay?” He asked.

“Nope,” Saxa said after a swallow. “I slept on the couch in the entertainment room.”

Agron sighed and put the bag of coffee filters he had just grabbed down. He went to the island and stood near Saxa but she refused to look at him.

“Look, I don’t blame you for being pissed. It’s obvious that you’ve been dealing with this for a while now. All I want to know is what are you going to do?”

Saxa paused not looking at Agron or anything else in particular. After a few ticks, she simply shrugged.

“Saxa,” Agron began.

“I’ve never been through anything like this before,” Saxa interrupted. “I’ve never been around that type of shit. No one in my family has ever had a problem, none of my friends, none of my other girlfriends or boyfriends.” She sighed. “I’m clueless and I know I shouldn’t be, but when she’s stumbling around like some Skid Row drunk I just get _so_ mad. I can’t think of anything to do but shut down and leave.”

She slammed her glass down on the island with a bit of force. “Go ahead and say it. I suck. I’m the worst girlfriend ever. My lover is a drunk and I’m not doing anything to help her.”

Agron lowered his eyes and shook his head. He debated on whether or not to tell Saxa what Barca told him about Belesa’s drug use.  “C’mon. I saw you trying to stop her. We’ve known each other for years. You’re one of my best friends. Even if you hadn’t done a thing, you know I wouldn’t say something like that.”

“But you would think it.”

“I wouldn’t even think it. Everyone’s situation is different. Everyone’s reaction is different too. When my brother was using, I didn’t know what to do. I was angry as hell. I was sad. I was disappointed and I tried to do _too_ much. I even punched him out once.” Agron paused. “When he died, I nearly lost my mind. But what helped me was finding some folks to talk to.”

Saxa finally turned and faced Agron. “Like Al-Anon or something?” She asked.

“Yes or even a close friend.”

Saxa shifted her gaze and said softly, “I should have come to you sooner.”

“Maybe, but I didn’t say all that to make you feel guilty. Who’s to say I would have been the best person to go to right away? It’s not like having a client at the gym where you sit them down and give them a list of things to do. It’s not that cut and dried when you’re dealing with someone you love, but having the ear of somebody who has gone through it helps. That’s all I’m saying.”

Saxa rubbed her cheek and Agron knew she was taking in what he said. “I need to know what to do.” She said.

“One of the best people I know who could help is right upstairs.”

“Lucretia.”

Agron nodded and said, “Even though it was after Duro had already died, she really helped me understand what I was going through. She put me in touch with some good people and I’m…better. She can probably do the same for you.”

Saxa sniffed and said, “Okay. I’ll talk to her. Belesa and I will both talk to her.”

“Good.”

He reached out and rubbed her shoulder for a bit. She managed a small smile and said, “I guess I’ll go for my run. It’ll help me clear my head a little.”

She moved away and rinsed her glass and mixer container in the kitchen sink. When she finished, she looked at Agron as he resumed his coffee making and asked, “You want to come with me? I could use some company.”

“Sure. Let me throw some of this coffee back, eat something and put some clothes on.”

“10 minutes?”

“Make it 15.”

“Okay.”

Saxa walked out into the kitchen and nearly ran into a disheveled looking Nasir.

“I heard voices.” He croaked.

“Sorry if we were too loud.” Saxa said.

“I didn’t care about that; I smelled coffee.”

She snorted, “Agron’s made some. If you had come down earlier, I could have made you one of my energy drinks.”

“No!” Agron called out. “Don’t let her do it to you, Nasir.”

Saxa rolled her eyes and went up the stairs towards her bedroom.

Agron’s first thought when he saw Nasir trudge into the kitchen was, “ _Yet another one who got zero sleep last night.”_

“Morning.”

Nasir sighed deeply and murmured, “That it is.”

Agron continued making his breakfast of steel cut oatmeal with bananas and raisins and let Nasir navigate his way to the coffee machine. The smaller man filled his cup to the brim without adding any sugar or cream and took a tentative sip. He closed his eyes and his mouth dropped open like a dying man receiving the elixir of life.

“Caffeine rush?”

“It’s the best.” Nasir whispered.

“Want some oatmeal?

Nasir shook his head and grabbed a banana from the bowl of fruit that sat on the kitchen counter. “Are you usually up this early?” he asked Agron.

“No. I didn’t get much sleep and then I heard Saxa making her witch’s brew. I figured trying to go back to sleep was a losing battle so I came down and started the coffee. I also wanted to talk to her about last night.”

“How’s she holding up?”

“Not as well as she think she is.”

“Oh,” Nasir said and took a bigger sip of coffee. “She seemed like she was at a bit of loss as to what to do.”

“That’s because she doesn’t know what to do. I told her she should talk to Lucretia, she’s had plenty of experience dealing with that sort of thing.”

“So do you.” Nasir said with a slightly puzzled look.

Agron gave a bitter smile and said, “Yeah, but her experience was a lot more successful than mine.”

Nasir didn’t respond and continued to nibble on his banana. He knew that the death of his brother was still a very sensitive subject for Agron, even after six years. When he and Agron first met, he couldn’t even bring himself to say his brother’s name. It was within the last couple of years that he was able to open up and talk about Duro.

From what Agron told him about Duro, his younger brother was an outgoing and boisterous guy. He was the life of the party, who could make friends with anyone. What lay underneath that gregarious veneer was a deep, underlying insecurity. Although the brothers were close, Duro always felt he lived in Agron’s shadow. Part of that feeling was due to their parents. They meant well, but they made the mistake that many parents do with same sex siblings by constantly comparing the two. Agron was seen as more focused and responsible. They supported his decision to leave veterinary school to pursue acting, not because they loved him more but because Agron was better at selling his rationale for doing so to them. Even when Agron came out to them when he was 18, his parents greeted the news almost cheerfully. Duro on the other hand, refused to attend university and drifted from job to job in his late teens. He never seemed to care if he received his parent’s approval or not. One thing Duro did was excel in was athletics. A natural jock, he played soccer, rugby and was even a fair cricket player. His rugby skills were so stellar that he was invited to try out for the Sydney Bulls, a semi-professional team. Unfortunately on his way to a practice session, he was involved in a car accident which destroyed his knee along with his dream of becoming a professional athlete.

His decline after the accident was swift and brutal. Hooked on pain medication and alcohol, he began to support his habit by stealing from his friends and former teammates. He was eventually caught and served a two month stint in jail after a plea deal. Agron, ever the protective older brother moved Duro into his apartment after he was released against their parent’s advice. The relationship between the men became strained due to Duro’s relapse and Agron’s inability to help his brother overcome his addictions. Their fights became ugly and Agron eventually kicked Duro out of his home after a violent altercation.

Homeless and not on speaking terms with Agron, Duro had no choice but to move back into his mother and father’s house. His already battered self-esteem endured more blows as he witnessed his parent’s fawning over Agron’s success in acting. His mother would hold viewing parties for friends and neighbors to watch Agron’s many guest appearances on Australian television. His father started a fan web site for him.  After he landed a small part in a major feature, his parents were ecstatic when he invited them as his special guests to the premiere. Duro was left at home.

Due to his criminal record, Duro was unable to find work and his depression worsened. His first suicide attempt happened after his parents arrived back home after their joyous trip to Sydney to celebrate with Agron. He overdosed on some street bought Valium and had to be rushed to the hospital. He was then involuntarily committed to an inpatient drug facility. He managed to get sober and was released. He started to improve somewhat and made an effort to repair his relationship with Agron. He even began to make plans to get his own place.

One of the last conversations they had was rather friendly, with Duro completing their brief talk with a sincere apology. Agron was genuinely touched and promised his brother that they would go out and have lunch together once he came back into town. The reunion was not to be. Three weeks after that phone call, Duro took one his father’s rifles, went out to the storage shed behind the house and shot himself.

Agron was devastated. For months afterward he lived in a fog of guilt and self-hatred. Unable to forgive himself, his parents or his brother; he packed up his meager possessions, gave up his apartment, fired his agent and took off to Los Angeles. Knowing exactly zero people, his natural hustler instincts kicked in. Within weeks, he found an agent and started working bit roles in commercials. He was also fortunate enough to meet a group of Australian and New Zealand transplants that helped him maneuver around the city and find some semblance of a normal life. He was forever indebted to Spartacus, Gannicus, Crixus and Lucretia for pulling him out of the depths his brother’s suicide drove him into.

Without their help, he would have never been able to move on from it and find that peace which had been so elusive. He was even able to open his heart and start a relationship with Barca. His lover was instrumental in getting Agron to attend Al-Anon meetings. In the beginning of their relationship, he was always around to lend an ear when the rage and guilt began to bubble to the surface. He quietly cleaned up the messes and gently wiped the tears. All that seemed like a lifetime ago.

Agron and Nasir were lost in their thoughts for a while until Agron spoke, “I’m going for a run with Saxa in a few. Want to join us?”

Nasir scrunched up his face and asked, “Why would I do that?”

“Because it’s great exercise,” Agron replied. “It improves conditioning and burns fat.”

“I need better reasons than that.” Nasir snorted.

“While you’re running, you can count off all of the ways your life is bullshit and then scream your head off.”

Nasir pointed his banana peel at Agron and said, “Now those are pretty good reasons.”

“That’s a yes? Good.” Agron said without waiting for an answer from Nasir. “I’ll let Saxa know. We’ll be ready in about ten minutes.”

“I need something else in my stomach. I can’t run when I’m hungry.” Nasir went to the refrigerator and pulled out a container holding the last bit of pasta salad from the previous day’s lunch. He then grabbed a fork from the counter drawer next to the sink and sat at the stool that stood near the island.

“Trying to run with a belly full of carbohydrates ain’t gonna work.”

Nasir rolled his eyes and said, “Look, the food patrol is off duty this weekend.” He popped a forkful of pasta in his mouth and chewed.

“Well eat fast. We’ll be out near the garage.”

“Oh damn!” Nasir suddenly exclaimed rather dramatically. “I don’t think I brought any workout clothes with me.”

Agron raised his eyebrow and said, “I’ve seen how you dress Nasir. I know you have more than a few pair of ratty shorts and some old trainers with you.”

Nasir fumed for second and asked haughtily, “Did you just dis my wardrobe?”

“Not a dis, just an observation. See you in fifteen.” Agron waved and left the kitchen with a chuckle.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Saxa was pulling a pink and gray Adidas tank top over head when Belesa turned over with a groan. She blinked several times trying to alleviate the dryness from her eyes and noticed Saxa by the dresser mirror with her back turned.

“Hey”, she said groggily.

“Hey”, Saxa answered back in a flat voice.

“What time is it?”

“Early. Go back to sleep. Hardly anyone else is up.”

“Saxa…”

Saxa sighed and looked at Belesa through the mirror. “What?” she asked.

Belesa managed to sit up not without a bit of effort. She ran her hand through her face and began, “I’m sorry about last night. I guess I had too much to drink.”

Saxa paused from putting her blonde hair in a ponytail with a look of incredulity and said, “You guess?”

“Yeah since I feel like shit and I can’t remember how I got up here.”

“Barca carried you to bed,” Saxa ground out. “After you fell down twice and broke Lucretia’s picture frame.”

“Oh God, “Belesa whined.

“That was after you yelled at Lucretia and Nasir about not being an invalid like your mother.” Saxa continued ruthlessly.

Belesa covered her mouth and closed her eyes. “I’m sorry, I-“

“Don’t remember any of it. I know,” Saxa finished. She secured her ponytail with an elastic loop and dug in her cosmetic bag for her hair pins.

“You’re pissed at me again.”

“I should be used to these antics. They’ve been going on for quite a while.”

Belesa said, “I don’t know why I act like that when I’m drunk. I just-.” Belesa patted a spot on the bed. “Come here.”

Saxa looked away and proceeded to put the pins in her hair. “I’m going on for a run. We’ll talk when I get back.”

“I want to apologize.”

“You already did.” Saxa said curtly. She patted her hair and left the room without another look at her girlfriend.

Belesa looked stunned as the bedroom door snapped closed. She tried to get up and thought the better of it as her head begin to spin. Her stomach churned as she lay back down and curled herself into a ball and tried to ride out the wave of sickness that threatened to engulf her.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dawn had just broken and the sky gave off a dull red glow that began to creep across the tops of the trees. Agron was outside next to the garage waiting for Saxa.  He clasped his hands behind his back and pulled his chest forward. Both his upper and lower back felt tight after being roughly treated by that torture device disguised as a bed. He decided to drop a not so subtle hint to Lucretia and Gaia that it was time to replace the mattresses.

As he was rolling his neck around, Saxa appeared around the corner of the garage with a dark expression. Agron knew better not to ask why she looked that way. He instead told her that Nasir would be joining them for a run if she didn’t mind.

“No,” she shook her head. “The more company the better.”

“You mean you don’t want to hear me whine about my back all by your lonesome?”

“Hell no,” Saxa answered. She started to stretch as well, bending over and touching her nose to her knees.

“Show off.” Agron huffed.

Nasir walked around the garage shortly after. When he saw Agron and Saxa stretching things that shouldn’t be stretched in standing positions, he was tempted to turn around and go back inside. His plan was thwarted when Saxa spotted him.

“Here comes slowpoke.”

“Apologies,” Nasir demurred. “I had to find something appropriate to wear.” He cut his eyes to Agron who didn’t have the decency to stop grinning. Nasir had fulfilled Agron’s prophecy by sporting a battered t-shirt, ages old basketball shorts and a dingy pair of Nike cross-trainers.

“So what are these stretching things you’re doing?” He asked.

“Just some light stretches to get the blood going and the muscles ready. Don’t want to pull anything.” Saxa said.

Nasir followed her lead lifting up his right leg to grab his ankle. He pulled the leg behind him and let out a grunt.

“Aw come on!” Agron cried.

“It’s been a while, okay?” Nasir answered. “The only exercise I’ve had in the last few months is pressing an elevator button.”

For the next few minutes, Nasir groaned and grunted some more as he fought his stubborn leg and back muscles to move. When Saxa declared they were all limber enough, she led the way towards the path near the road to the Echo Lakes hiking trail.

“How far are we running?” Nasir asked.

“This part of the trail is about nine miles straight through.” Saxa answered. “We’ll do five. We don’t want to wear Agron out.”

“Yuck, yuck yuck,” Agron sneered. “I used to train for marathons and you know this.”

Nasir wasn’t so confident. He wasn’t sure he could last a mile. He started to regret his recent laziness and procrastination. “I hope I brought enough water.” He said. He noticed Saxa and Agron had those handy water carriers that wrapped around their arms and was resigned to carrying his around in his hand.

“Try to keep up you two!” Saxa called out and took off at a blazing pace leaving her companions to catch up.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Gaia stood in the hallway of the upper landing listening to the sounds of retching from the nearby bathroom. She went over and tapped the door. “Is everything okay?” She asked.

There was no answer but the door opened an inch or two and a blue eye peeked out. “Yeah, I’m fine.”

“Bee, would you like for me to get you some water?”

“No, it’s ok. Don’t trouble yourself. I’ll be out in a minute.”

Gaia sighed and said, “It’s no trouble. Wait here. I’ll get you some water and Tylenol.”

After a beat, Belesa said, “Thanks Gaia.” and closed the door again.

Gaia went back to her own bedroom where she saw Lucretia stirring awake.

“Up already?” she asked Gaia.

“I heard Belesa bowing to the porcelain god so I’m going to get her some pain reliever and water.”

“I really wanted to try to forget that part of last night.”

“Well the sound of Belesa retching loudly will remind you.” Gaia said as she grabbed a giant bottle of Tylenol. With a wink, she playfully slapped Lucretia’s bottom and left the room.

Through some miracle, Belesa managed to crawl back into her bed. She felt like something that had been tied to the back of Agron’s SUV and dragged from L.A. to Lake Tahoe. _Why did she have to be such a fucking idiot and drink so damn much?"_ She complained.  There was a knock on the door and she was barely able to groan out a, “Come in.”

“Is it that bad?”

“My head is throbbing. My eyes are on fire and Saxa is pissed at me.”

“That’s bad,” Gaia quipped. She placed the Tylenol and a huge water bottle she snagged from the kitchen on the nightstand. She then gently pried Belesa’s hand from her eyes and took a good look.

It wasn’t a pretty sight. Belesa who was usually stunning, looked a mess. Her almond shaped blue eyes were puffy. Her sharp cheekbones were splotchy. Her full lips were dry and the corners of them were coated with something white. Her aquiline nose was runny. She reeked of sweat and alcohol. The most pitiful part of her was her hair, which looked dry and tangled.

“C’mon, sit up. You need to drink some water.” Gaia commanded.  She grabbed Belesa’s shoulders and propped her up against the headboard. She popped off the cap of the water bottle and held it gently to Belesa’s lips.

“Noo,” the younger woman whined trying to push the bottle away. “I can’t keep anything down.”

“That’s why you need water. You’re dehydrated. Drink.”

Belesa took a few small sips, as her thirst was awakened the sips soon turned to gulps.

“Whoa! Slow down or you’ll throw up again for sure.” Gaia exclaimed as she snatched the bottle away.

Belesa lay back against the headboard and drew huge breaths. “That was good.”

Gaia already had four Tylenol tablets in her hand and pressed them into Belesa’s. “Take these,” she ordered.  Belesa popped all four in her mouth and swallowed them dry like an old pro. Gaia handed the water back to her and she took several more deep gulps.

“I think I’ll live.” Belesa sighed.

“We’re worried about you, Bee.”

“Why? I just knocked back a few too many. I should have known being a bartender, that you shouldn’t mix your drinks. Stick with light or dark liquor for the night.”

“Saxa tells a different story.” Gaia said.

Belesa peered at Gaia and asked, “What did she tell you?”

Gaia sighed and fiddled with the comforter that covered Belesa for a few seconds before answering. “She said that you have been drinking quite a lot, every day for a month to be exact.”

“So she’s been keeping count.”

“Belesa-,”

“No,” Belesa huffed and sat up. “I’m not some fall down drunk.”

“You were last night.”

Belesa glared a Gaia and Gaia looked back benignly.

“You mentioned your mother… you said you didn’t want to be an invalid like her.” Belesa remained silent but thought to herself, ‘ _I really did have too much to drink_.’

She hesitated for a bit, not wanting to dive into that particular abyss. Her mother’s condition was well known, but the effect it had on her life wasn’t. She realized then that she had done a pretty shitty job of concealing her pain. Before she could stop them, tears began to form.

“It’s been really hard these past few weeks. My mom’s rehab is going really slow and…” She stopped and gathered herself as her voice began to tremble. “I try to get back to Vancouver to help my dad out as much as possible but it’s so expensive. My brother gives me what he can and I hate asking Saxa for money all the time.” She stopped again.

“Oh Bee,” Gaia said softly.

“But I hate going,” Belesa choked out. “When I visit her, she doesn’t recognize me. Do you know what that’s like?”

Gaia reached out and stroked Belesa’s cheek. “No. I can’t imagine.”

“So I drink to take my mind off of everything but I guess that’s not really working if I’m flopping around everywhere and breaking shit.”

“Don’t worry about that. I’m more concerned about you.” Gaia said. “Getting drunk off your arse every night doesn’t help you, your mother, your girlfriend or anybody else.”

Belesa nodded and continued to cry. She knew her drinking and drug use was spinning out of control. She wanted to tell Belesa that but she couldn’t bring herself to do it.

Gaia continued, “I’ve been there and I’ve been lucky enough to have people around me to pull my nipples and help me get straight. And you,” She touched Belesa’s face again. “Have that at as well. You can come to me and Lucretia if you need anything. I mean that.”

Belesa sat up and wrapped her arms around Gaia. She was so overcome; she could do nothing but bury her head in the woman’s shoulder. It meant everything at that moment to finally have someone who was willing to listen to her without out scorn or judgment.

“One more thing,” Gaia said. “You really need a shower.”

Belesa’s body shook with laughter but she didn’t let go of Gaia. She wasn’t quite ready yet.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Agron stopped and jogged into place as he waited for Nasir to catch up with him and Saxa. When the younger man reached him, Agron could tell he was struggling.

“Need a break?”

“Yes,” Nasir gasped. He walked off the side of the trail and plopped down on a large tree root. He was sweating buckets and the water couldn’t get down his throat fast enough.

“You need to stop smoking.” Saxa offered unhelpfully.

“Actually I quit a month ago, hence my pleasant mood and good health.” Nasir responded between gulps.

Saxa ignored the sarcasm and plowed in. “It’s the best decision you could ever make. Do you know what the lung of a smoker looks like after death? Like a burned sponge with pus oozing out of it.”

“Thanks for the visual Saxa.” Agron said grimacing.

“Yes, so soon after I’ve eaten.” Nasir added.

“I’m just saying. Be glad you quit now. Your lungs are thanking you for it.” Saxa replied still jogging in place.

“I think my lungs want to jump out and run back to the house.” Nasir said despairingly.

Agron noticed something in Nasir’s tone and looked at Saxa, “We’ll catch up.”

A flicker of puzzlement crossed her features, “You sure?”

“Yeah,” Agron said meaningfully.

Saxa nodded and called out, “Rest a bit and we’ll finish Nasir.” She then continued running down the trail.

“She was serious wasn’t she?” Nasir shook his head in amazement.

“Oh definitely,” Agron said.

“I hate to disappoint her but I’m in no shape to finish anything.” Nasir looked down and tapped the very empty bottle of water on the ground.

“You managed a full mile and a good pace. Chin up, Mr. Chuckles.” Agron joked.

Nasir smiled. “Thanks, but I don’t think I can go much further.”

Agron asked, “Ready to talk then?” as he sat down next to him.

“Look, I don’t want to start dumping all my problems on you. You seem like you have enough to handle already.”

“That doesn’t mean I can’t listen. Contrary to popular belief, the world doesn’t revolve around Agron.”

 Nasir laughed, “Where do I start?” He hesitated as he tried to get his thoughts together. “I feel like I’ve hit a wall and I can’t get over it… I can’t get around it. I can’t get under it. I’m just stuck here,” he pointed his fingers downward for emphasis. “I’m just so fucking frustrated and Castus…” He drifted off and looked down again.

“What about him?” Agron prodded.

“He’s just been real distant the past few weeks. I mean, I haven’t helped the situation I know, but something’s different.”

Agron chewed the inside of his cheek. He didn’t want to ask the question that popped into his mind and almost thought better of it, but then his mouth moved. “Do you think he’s cheating?”

Nasir looked at him suddenly. He sighed, “I don’t know. A while back I was over at his place and I was in the bathroom looking for something and I found a condom.”

“Hmm,” Agron started chewing his cheek again. “That’s strange because…?”

“We don’t use them. After we started seeing each other exclusively, we had ‘the talk’, we both got tested. We were both fine and we had an agreement.”

“I see. It could have been an old one,” Agron said shrugging his shoulders. “You said you found it in the bathroom.”

“That doesn’t seem suspicious to you?”

“It would have raised the alarm a bit louder say if it was found in a nightstand or in his pocket. I’m sure he provided an explanation.”

“He did. He said it was an old one.” Nasir gave Agron a quick look. “But then a month ago, he went to San Diego. I was supposed to go with him but I got sick. When he came back, he didn’t tell me anything about his trip. Usually when he goes out of town, he’s full of stories about all the famous people he’s met and all the cool places he managed to get into. This time nothing.”

“Nothing?”

“I would ask and he’d just say, ‘Not much’.”

Agron quirked his lip and started to shake his head.

“I know it’s not much of anything,” Nasir began. “And I’m trying not to turn into one of _those_ boyfriends. You know what I mean?”

“Yes.” Agron answered.

“Where have you been? Who have you been talking to? Mr. Paranoid and all that.”

“No, you don’t.”

“He is acting differently though.”

Agron sat a minute and tugged a piece of grass. The next logical question would have been to ask if their sex life had changed. For some reason though, He didn’t want to broach the subject. The thought Nasir being intimate with Castus stirred up something ugly inside of him and he simply didn’t want to go there. Instead he asked, “Have you come right and asked him if he is cheating?”

“Yes. He said hasn’t been unfaithful.”

“Then at this point you just have to trust what he says. Trust is everything. Without it your relationship means nothing.”

Nasir bowed his head.

“That doesn’t mean you should ignore your instincts though. But if there really isn’t anything going on, stop trying to drive yourself and him crazy.” He hated saying this. Even though it would not have surprised him in the least to hear that Castus was a cheater, he didn’t want cause Nasir any more pain.

“You’re right. I’ve got too much other stuff going on right now to be hiding in the bushes ready to catch him doing something.”

“Okay then,” Agron smiled and stood up.

As Nasir got up himself with a bit of effort, he felt a flash of jealousy over Agron’s easy grace. For a big man, Agron was surprisingly light on his feet. He was well built, but his trunk seemed rather short in comparison to his arms and legs. His short brown hair was sticking up at all angles despite his constant attempt to brush it back with his fingers. The stubble on his cheeks was uneven and scattered. Still, he was a pretty awesome sight in the growing daylight. He kept those thoughts to himself. He was pretty sure Agron knew exactly how good he looked.

“Well, that’s my sad song. What’s yours?” He asked.

Agron gave a wry smile. “What’s to tell? My relationship is going down in flames.”

“Really?

“Oh yeah, we were trying to hang on hoping that the other one will change but I think it’s too late.”

Nasir fidgeted in discomfort. He knew what he was about to say was as clichéd as clichés could get. “You two were so great together.”

“Yeah we were,” Agron said with definite sadness. “At one time, Barca was everything to me. I owe him so much. He helped me deal with everything with Duro. He supported my career. He helped us get through all the red tape to get the gym. I thought that I would always need him, but now that I finally have my life together, he’s just pulled away. I don’t know whether if it’s me or him that can’t deal with change in the balance in our relationship. Does that make sense?” He looked imploringly at Nasir.

“Yes it does. What are you going to do?”

“Make a decision by the end of this weekend. No other choice. This shit can’t go on as it is.”

“You do have a lot to think about.”

“So do you.”

They looked at each other for a minute and then smiled. “C’mon,” Agron said. “Let’s try to catch up with Saxa.”

Nasir groaned and abused himself mentally for drinking up all of his water. “Can we at least walk briskly?”

“Fine.”

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was around 8 o’clock when Saxa, Agron and a very tired Nasir got back to the house. As they walked into the kitchen, Gaia was at the sink cleaning her hands. Preparations for their lunch at the lake were spread all over the island.

Saxa walked over and gave her a kiss on the cheek. “Morning,” she said.

“Good Morning. Did you all have a good run?”

“Oh yeah,” Saxa said.

“It was great,” Agron added.

“Uhm,” Nasir started.

They all chuckled.

“Let me hop into the shower and I’ll come back down and fix us all a big breakfast.” Saxa said as she started towards to stairs to the upper level.

“Yeah, we’ll come back down and help you fix lunch and pack up.” Agron said from the refrigerator as he took big gulps from a bottle of orange juice. Nasir gave him an impatient look as he waited for Agron to get out of the way. He needed water badly.

“Thanks guys.”

“No problem.” Agron said. He and Nasir made their way to the stairs. Agron ran up them with ease while Nasir took one step at a time. He didn’t remember them being that steep the day before.

They parted ways and Agron entered his bedroom to find Barca already up and changing their bedding. Their greetings were hesitant and Agron started to undress quickly. As he divested himself of his t-shirt (another one advertising the Ludus), Barca looked at him. Agron noticed his lover staring  at him and turned his back as he took off his shorts.

“That explains why you weren't here when I woke up this morning.”

Agron said as he searched for a towel to cover up, “I didn’t sleep well so when I got up, Saxa asked me if I wanted to join her for her run.”

“I wouldn’t have minded joining you.”

Agron stopped and turned towards Barca. “Now you’re reaching. You hate running. We would have had plenty of time to talk about last night.”

“Let’s talk now.”

“Ok,” Agron said. “I don’t feel like anything has changed, but then again sex was never the problem.”

“Nothing’s changed for me either and that’s what upsets me.”

There was a knock on the door and both men turned their heads towards it and then back to each other. Barca finally called out, “Come in.”

Lucretia opened the door and poked her head in. When she saw Agron standing in nothing but his towel, she looked abashed. “I’m so sorry to interrupt. I just came by to give Barca this comforter. It’s the only other one that fits this bed.”

“It’s okay. Come in Lucretia.”

Lucretia entered slowly, aware of the tension in the room. She handed the comforter to Barca and started to leave when he asked, “How’s Belesa?”

“Oh she’s up and around, a little worse for wear. Gaia talked to her earlier this morning. She told her that she’s been going through a great deal because of her mother and that she knows her drinking is out of control.” Lucretia answered.

Barca asked, “And the drugs?” 

Lucretia blinked in surprise, “Drugs?  She didn’t say anything about drugs, at least not to Gaia.”

Barca and Agron both sighed.

“What’s going on?” Lucretia demanded putting her hand on her hip.

“Belesa told me that she takes pills and cocaine last night.” Barca replied.

“I talked to Saxa this morning. I didn’t mention what Belesa told Barca to her,” Agron said looking at Barca. “Call it a hunch but I don’t think she knows about it.”

“She could have not wanted to mention it out of shame.” Barca offered.

“No,” Agron disagreed. “If she did know, she would have been even angrier than she is. Saxa is very anti-drug. She doesn’t deal with anyone who’s involved with them.”

“It seems the situation is a lot more serious than we thought.” Lucretia said.

“I hope you don’t mind, I sorta offered your services to Saxa just in case she sought you out for a chat.” Agron told Lucretia.

“It’s not a problem. It looks like she certainly needs some advice considering what we know now.” She gave a smile that didn’t reach her eyes at all. “Well, I’ll let you two get ready for breakfast.” She started for the door and both Barca and Agron called after her, “Thanks Lucretia.”

“You’re welcome.” She answered. By the time she closed the door behind her, the smile was gone.

Barca looked back to Agron. “You didn’t tell Saxa?”

“I didn’t think it was my place. If she is going to find out, it should be from Belesa not any of us.”

“Even as serious as this is?” Barca demanded.

Agron was about to retort when his phone rang. He picked it up to check the number. “Wait, I have to take this.”

Barca rolled his eyes and frowned in frustration.

“Hello? Yeah, it is early. I know you wouldn’t have called if it hadn’t been important.” Agron wrapped his towel tighter around himself and paced the floor. “It could happen today? Are you serious? That’s fucking awesome...Keep me posted. Yes…Yes. Aww great! Thanks Spartacus!” He hung up. His expression was radiant.

“Good news?” Barca asked

“We are this close,” Agron held his thumb and forefinger together, “to closing on the new gym.” He smiled.

“That is good news.”

“Look, I have to text Crixus and everyone. We can pick this up later, can’t we?”

“Yeah, sure we can.”

After Agron left the room, Barca stared after him and then picked up his own phone. 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Belesa was putting the finishing touches on her make-up. Normally, she wouldn’t put so much on so early in the morning, but with the state of her puffy eyes and blotchy skin, it was needed. Besides, she didn’t want to give the others more reason to look at with her pity. Saxa entered their bedroom from her shower and promptly started to dress. She was running late with getting breakfast started and there was a lot to do in order to feed seven grown people.

Belesa gathered herself before walking towards her lover. She wanted to reach out and grab her but she knew Saxa would not be in the mood for gentle touches. She started, “Saxa, stop a minute.”

“What is it?” Saxa asked as she rubbed her hair roughly with her towel. Yep, she was still pissed.

“I just wanted to say that about last night. It shouldn’t have happened. I got way out of control-“

“…And you won’t do it again. I’ve heard this,” Saxa interrupted.

“Babe, I’m trying to apologize to you.”

“Try again.” Saxa demanded.

Belesa took a deep breath in an attempt to stay calm. “I’m sorry that I got drunk and humiliated you. I’m sorry that I’ve been drinking and humiliating you for weeks.” She swallowed hard but continued on, “I know that my drinking is a problem and I’m going to stop. Right now.”

Saxa froze. _This was a first_ , she thought. All the other times before, Belesa made excuse after excuse for her behavior, but at that moment she finally admitted that she did have an issue. “What made you finally admit it?”

“You and my mom,” Belesa answered. “I’m losing my mother; I know it’s just a matter of time. I can’t lose you too.”

Saxa focused on a spot on the floor because she knew if she looked in Belesa’s face, she would start to cry. Saxa hated to cry.

“So, I want to let you know that I’m not going to have another drop to drink while we are here and I am going to get help as soon as we get back to L.A.” Belesa stepped a little closer to her lover.

“Uh, I’m glad to hear it. I’m really, really glad to hear it.” Saxa shuffled from one foot to the other. She was so bad at this type of thing. She exhaled loudly. “I’ll help in any way I can, if I can.”

Belesa stepped in a bit more until she was face to face with Saxa. “That’s what I was hoping to hear. I need your help with this. You’re the strongest person I know. Maybe if I had half your guts, I probably wouldn’t have made so many mistakes in my life.” She put her hand under Saxa’s chin and lifted it up. She needed to see if Saxa was truly with her in this moment. Their blue eyes met and Saxa leaned her forehead in and touched Belesa’s.

“This isn’t a quick fix. It’s going to be hard. I may even slip up, but I’m going to try. I’m going to try really fucking hard because I love you and I know you love me.” Belesa said quietly as her lips gently brushed against Saxa’s own.

Their kiss was tender. Belesa knew that she needed to reassure Saxa and not overwhelm her. Saxa fought hard to make her life as uncomplicated as possible. If any wrinkle or hitch occurred, she either attempted to stomp it out or remove it from existence. Belesa understood that she had never been confronted with such a complicated situation and she was confused and afraid. She brushed a strand of blonde hair away from her love’s face and could see the fear in her eyes.

“I love you too.” Saxa said.

Belesa smiled in relief and took her into her arms. “We’ll get through this. I promise.”

Saxa tightened her grip and silently wished that what she heard was true. She may not have had enough first-hand knowledge of alcoholism, but she wasn’t so naïve as to think that quitting was just a simple matter of saying, “I’m done”.  She knew things were going to get infinitely harder once they went back to Los Angeles and as much as Belesa admired her strength, she was frightened for both of them.

Saxa ended their embrace and said, “I have to get ready to go back downstairs. I’m on breakfast duty. Want to help?”

Belesa nodded. As much as her stomach raged, it was something that she wanted to do.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Breakfast was rather hurried as everyone tried to finish and head out to the lake before it got too hot. Belesa declined to partake due to her still queasy stomach and stuck with orange juice and water. Nasir promised to eat her share. After his exhausting run (walk), he was famished. He even tried distracting Castus by pointing out to him a group of blue jays on the balcony so that he could snatch his turkey bacon. Lucretia closely observed Saxa and noticed that she was much more relaxed than she was the night before. She guessed that the conversation between her and Belesa went well enough, but she wanted find out for certain. She decided that by the end of the day, she was going to have a talk with them.

Around mid-morning, both SUV’s were packed with food, supplies, towels and people and both vehicles hit the road towards Echo Lake. Nasir and Castus rode with Barca and Agron, while Belesa and Saxa rode with Lucretia and Gaia. The guys were relatively silent during their ride but the ladies chatted and laughed. What did not miss Lucretia’s notice was that Belesa chatted and laughed a bit too much. It was like she was trying to sell her newfound sobriety just a tad too hard.

After they parked and unloaded all of their stuff, Lucretia led them to the perfect spot on the lakeshore. If there was one word to describe Echo Lake, it would be majestic. Cradled between the ridges of the Sierra Mountains, its waters shimmered and shifted colors from light blue to purple. Everyone paused for a few to take in the serene landscape before setting up.

“You know, one of my goals is to save enough cash to get a place here,” Nasir mused. “It’s gorgeous.”

“One of the best decisions I ever made was to not sell the house after my parents died.” Lucretia said. “I couldn’t imagine not ever seeing a sight like this again.”

As the late morning crept into early afternoon, they ate, swam and sunbathed.  Lucretia and Gaia were figuring out a time to rent a boat so that they could all take a ride later on while Saxa and Castus challenged each other to a race. Near their resting spot was a long pier with a water deck that extended out a few dozen yards into the lake, another pier stood about three hundred feet adjacent to it. Agron, Barca, Nasir and Belesa gathered around Castus and Saxa as they sorted out the rules of their race.

“All the way to the other deck and back,” Saxa declared.

“Naw, a straight shot to the deck,” Castus countered. “First one there wins.”

“That’s so chickenshit!” Saxa protested.

“Look at me! I’m built for a sprint, not a marathon!” Castus joked.

“Fine, you’re getting dusted either way.” Saxa boasted.

The others hooted and howled and Castus raised his hands for silence. “Alright, alright, alright, I’d like to announce the start of the international, intramural, intersex world championship sprint.” They all applauded. “Right here is the Chocolate Wonder; The Don Dada of the Water, all the way from Do or Die Bed-Sty, Castus!” He raised his hands as everyone cracked up. “Racing against,” he pointed to Saxa, “this crazy chick over here.” They laughed again as Saxa flipped him off.

“C’mon Saxa, beat him!” Belesa yelled.

“Do us non crazy people proud, Castus.” Agron called.

“Don’t embarrass me.” Nasir cracked. Barca leaned in and whispered to him, “I got ten on Saxa.”

Nasir measured him for a second and said, “You’re on.”

Agron put down his beer and said, “Okay you two, line up.” Castus and Saxa stood next to each other, leaning over ready to dive in. “On three. One. Two. Three!” Agron yelled.

Castus and Saxa dived into the clear water and began to freestyle at a furious but impressive pace. Saxa got an early lead and Belesa and Barca cheered wildly. Then less than fifty feet from the end point, Castus gained on her with a burst of speed and touched the base of the deck first by half a body length. It was Nasir and Agron’s turn to cheer as Castus whooped and celebrated like he had just won a gold medal.  Saxa slapped the water at him in frustration. As he continued to gloat, she dived under the surface and swam behind him. Before he knew what happened, she slipped his swim trunks off and swam away.

“SAXA!!”

Castus could hear the screams of laughter coming from the others as Saxa clambered up the deck twirling his pilfered swim trunks above her head. She ran towards the shore as he yelled her to bring them back.

“Saxa! Give me back my trunks! Saaaxaaaa!”

She reached the other deck with the rest and laid them over the edge. “Come and get ‘em!” She called. Castus managed to curse fluently in both English and Ibo* as he flailed his way back. Once he reached the deck post, he looked nervously around and tried to reach for his dangling trunks. Nasir, Barca and Agron were in hysterics as Saxa pulled them out of reach.

“This is so awesome, “Agron choked out between guffaws.

“C’mon now, stop playing! I’m all assed out here!” Castus begged. Saxa gave a triumphant whoop and threw the trunks at Castus. She then grabbed Belesa’s hand and ran off the deck towards Gaia and Lucretia who were lounging nearby.

Castus grabbed his shorts and with a furtive look around and climbed up the steps on the side of the deck. He quickly put them on as the guys jeered.

“I always thought that “shrinkage” phenomenon was just a Seinfeld joke.” Barca quipped. Agron and Nasir howled. Castus lunged at Barca and tried to wrestle him off the edge. Being nearly a head shorter, Castus had a tough time gaining leverage until Nasir sneaked in and gave a final push. As Barca teetered off the edge (Agron was a safe distance away), he grabbed Castus with one arm and Nasir with the other and all three fell into the water.

Saxa and Belesa had flopped down on towels next to Gaia and Lucretia. They were breathlessly laughing and kissing. Lucretia observed them quietly for a moment. She gave Gaia a look as if to say, “ _What do you make of this?”_

“It looks like you two have amends.” Lucretia said.

Belesa looked at Lucretia while gently stroking Saxa’s hair. “I apologized profusely and promised never to get that loaded again. Saxa found it in her heart to forgive me.” She smiled and planted a kiss on Saxa’s forehead.

“Well, it wasn’t that simple.” Saxa said in response to Lucretia’s rather unconvinced look. “Belesa is going to get counseling once we back to Los Angeles.”

“That’s great!” Gaia exclaimed.

“Yes it is. I hope you both get counseling, together and separately.” Lucretia said calmly.

“I know that admitting that you have a problem is the first step. It took a while for me to realize that. I can’t solve my problems in the bottom of a bottle.” Belesa took Saxa’s hand and squeezed it. Saxa gave her a small smile. Lucretia waited for her to add to the declaration but she did not.

“It’s not going to be easy, considering that you are a bartender and all.” Gaia said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“Not really. I never drink at work. It’s just not a good look to chug back shots while you’re on duty. And people get rather pissy if you don’t make their Long Island Ice Teas right.”

Lucretia leaned in closer to the couple. “I have the number of a good counselor. He runs several Al-Anon groups and he has his own practice. He’s been a godsend for me and my family. If you want it, I can give you his information.”

Belesa hesitated before nodding her head. Saxa noticed and looked at Lucretia, “Thanks. We’ll be glad to.”

“Good,” Lucretia answered. She took Belesa’s hand. “I wish you the best and you’re right. Honesty is the first step.”

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Agron steered the boat close to the steps of the water deck. Barca embarked first and then helped Lucretia and Gaia climb in. They were followed by Belesa and Saxa. Nasir and Castus observed them from the shore. Nasir had begged off from the ride because of his seasickness. Castus stayed to keep him company and to hopefully attempt to bridge the chasm that had deepened between them.

They waved as Agron blew the boat horn and laughed as Saxa stuck out her tongue at Castus. As they watched the boat speed off, Castus wrapped his arm around his lover’s shoulder. “We’re all alone out here. What to do?”

Nasir smirked. “I’m sure you have some kind of plan.”

“Which I’ve been trying to put in effect all weekend,” Castus grinned.

“Stop talking and put plan into motion.”

They kissed hungrily. Nasir found himself responding immediately. It had to be something about the secluded corner of the lake or maybe it was seeing Castus half-naked, dripping with water. It was often difficult for Nasir to stay angry with his boyfriend if he was in any stage of undress. He ran his hand over the well-developed chest and thought stupidly, “ _Why was I mad again?”_

Castus broke off the kiss and led Nasir by the hand over to a blanket that was spread out over a smooth part of the bank. He sat down and pulled his lover down with him. Nasir complied eagerly and lay on top of Castus, stroking his face. Their lips reconnected and hands began to explore everywhere. Nasir used his thigh to pry Castus legs open and rubbed it against the growing hardness of his groin.

Castus groaned and attacked Nasir’s neck with fervor. He ran his hands through Nasir’s wet, silky hair and bit his earlobe. Nasir could not let such a challenge go unanswered. He bit and sucked his way down towards Castus’ chest and let his fingers play against the ridges of his lover’s prominent abs. Castus sighed and squirmed. Touching him was intoxicating, the body under his hands was like steel wrapped in dark velvet.

He felt his head being lifted and Castus looked into his eyes. “I know you haven’t had a threesome, but have you done the freaky sneaky in the great outdoors?”

Nasir blinked eyes seductively, “I can assure you. I have several locations in Los Angeles earmarked.”

Castus let out a huge laugh. “That’s what I like to hear.”

“If only I remembered to bring the goodie bag.”

“Say no more.”

Nasir let out a surprised gasp as Castus reached for his duffle bag. He pulled out the little purple bag and shook it in front of Nasir’s face. “I’m always prepared baby, always.”

Nasir raised his eyebrow and lay back down on the blanket. Castus took out the bottle of lube. “Take off your shorts,” he said hoarsely.

“Nah-ah,” Nasir said and wagged his finger. “You gotta work for it. It’s the American way.”

“Fucking tease.”

“That’s the point. You want to fuck this tease.”

“I gotta make this good then so you won’t have anything to complain to Agron about.”

Nasir’s grin disappeared. “What does that mean?”

“Like I didn’t know you went running with Saxa and Agron to bitch about me.”

Nasir propped himself up on his elbows, “Of course, because everything is about you. The hell with anything else I’m going through.”

“If you actually tried to tell me what’s going with you instead of drilling me like a detective all the time, then I would know.”

“Like I don’t have any reason whatsoever to be suspicious?” He was sitting up by that time, and his fury growing. “I’m just conjuring all this stuff by magic?”

“No, you don’t. I dunno know about magic, but what you are doing is taking out your frustration about not passing the bar on me.” He instantly regretted saying that.

Nasir stood up and looked stunned. “So let me get this straight. I’m accusing you of cheating because I can’t bear the fact that I’m a big failure in life. Wow.”

“That’s not what I said.”

“That’s precisely what you said!”

Castus was standing now, “NO! What I’m saying is that you haven’t been the same since the exam and I can’t talk to you about it because you lash out. I’m tired of walking on eggshells around you. Can you deny that’s what I’ve had to do for the past few months?” Nasir didn’t answer.

“Baby, I want you to be successful. I want you to pass the bar and be a lawyer and make millions of dollars. I want all that for you. But you have to trust me!”

Nasir shook his head, “Lately, the only thing I’ve been I’ve been able to trust is that when I have to come to you with my problems, you either ignore me or you’re not around.”

Castus sighed and put his hands on his hips in frustration.

“You say you want all of this stuff for me,” Nasir continued “but you could care less about what I have to go through to get there. Did you know I’m behind on everything and I’ll have to get another job?”

Castus shrugged and shook his head.

“Of course you don’t, even though I’ve tried to tell you. So for me to think that you’re spending time with someone other than me isn’t outside the realm of possibility!” Nasir shouted.

“The thing is, “Castus shifted his feet and crossed his arms, “If you want help, you have to know how to ask for it. Biting my head off all the time or shaking off my touch isn’t going to get you anything.”

“Now I’m supposed to beg you to pay attention to me?” Nasir demanded. “Let’s try it then, Castus will you please talk to me and rub my back? Make it all better?” Nasir took on an exaggerated innocent expression and blinked his eyes.

Castus snarled, “That’s it. Go ahead and mock me. That’s one thing you’ve been successful at the past year.”

“Because what you’re saying is ridiculous,” Nasir snarled back. “Sorry if I think this relationship should be more than just fucking and going to your parties.”

“If you feel that’s all I’ve wanted from you, then you’ve just wasted two years of your time…and mine.”

“Seems so,” Nasir retorted and grabbed his shirt.

“Where are you going?”

“Away from you,” Nasir called as he stalked away.

Castus watched him go. He saw no point in following him. He noticed the tube of lube still in his hand and threw it into the water in anger. “ _I should have left his ass here and gone on the boat.”_ He thought.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

An hour later, the others returned from their boat ride. Agron and Gaia drove off to return to the boat to the rental shop. As Saxa and Belesa reached the end of the pier, they spotted Castus lying prone on the blanket, shielding his eyes from the late day sun with his arm.

“Where’s Nasir?” Belesa asked.

“Yeah, we were afraid we’d come up some hot sexy times between you two.” Saxa joked.

Castus took his arm away from his eyes, “No fucking chance of that happening.”

Belesa and Saxa shared a look. “I guess I’ll ask the obvious: You two been fighting again?” Saxa asked.

“Ding! Ding! Ding! Winnah,” Castus answered with no humor.

“Well we’re ready to go. Do you know which direction he went?” Saxa looked around to see if she spotted him.

“Hell would be a starting point.”

“Okaaaay.”

“I’ll find him. You all help pack up.” Barca said. “Which way did he go, Castus?” There was something in Barca’s tone that brooked no argument. Castus shifted his gaze and pointed his thumb northwards.

“I’ll be back.” Barca started off. He followed the shoreline for a while, checking the line of piers and water decks. As the shoreline curled, he looked towards the hiking trail that ran parallel to the road. His sharp eyes spotted a pair of legs hanging over a log that bordered the trail.

“Hey.”

Nasir looked up in surprise. So deep was he in his misery, he did not notice Barca bearing down on him. “You guys ready to go?”

“Yeah, you all right or do you need some more time?” Barca answered.

“No,” Nasir stood up with a grunt. The day’s physical and emotional exertions were catching up with him. “I’ve pouted enough. Let’s go.”

“How bad is it going to be when we get back to the house?”

“If you’re asking if there’s going to be a knock out drag out fight, then no. I’m too damn tired for all of that. I’m tired of everything.” Nasir answered and wiped the dirt and rocks from his backside.

“I can understand that, getting to where fighting is pointless.” Barca said sagely.

“I think I’m getting there. It is pointless now.” They started walking back towards the shore. “It’s not about understanding where each of us is coming from. It’s not about winning. It’s just noise.”

Barca said, “Then you have to find the quiet. Look for that peace, even if it’s hell trying to chase it.”

Nasir stopped, “What did you say Zen Master?”

Barca chuckled, “What are you willing to do to change things? End it all?”

“The thought has crossed my mind many times. I know all the stress from my relationship is spilling into the other aspects of my life and vice versa. It’s too easy, though. Not getting along with my boyfriend doesn’t explain why I had a panic attack while I was taking the bar.” Nasir replied.

He shook his head to try to dislodge the memory of himself shaking and sweating at the desk. The words in the exam booklet blurring and swirling out of focus. He couldn’t answer the proctor when she asked if he was alright. His heart knocked against his ribcage and his head pounded. She became so worried; she picked him up by his shoulders and led him out of the exam room. His breathing became labored and she threatened to call 911 unless he answered her questions. He recovered enough to tell her that he didn’t think he could complete the test. She told him, (not without a fair degree of sympathy) that he was not the only applicant to completely collapse during an exam. She informed him that she would mark his results as null, thus removing his test from the review cycle and receiving a fail. He thanked her and left, humiliated and $892.00 poorer.

Barca chanced a glance at him and asked, “Are you sure you want to be an attorney?”

“Of course,” Nasir said without hesitation. “I wouldn’t have toiled away for three years in law school and made Sallie Mae very happy if I didn’t.”

“You said last night, that you weren’t as good at lying as some others. When it comes to being a lawyer, pretty much all you do is lie.”

“Barca…”

“You lie about your billable hours, you lie to your clients about being able to win their cases, you lie to opposing counsel and you lie to the judge. Pretty soon, the lies spill into your personal life. You start lying about your salary, you lie when say, ‘nothing’s wrong with dinner, I love breaded veal’, you lie and say you aren’t angry when you are. It gets to be so that you can’t pick out the truth from all the lies.” Barca let out a slow breath.

“Are we talking about me or you now?” Nasir asked.

Barca gave him a grim look, “I just don’t want you to look back ten or fifteen years from now and wonder, Why did I do this to myself? Pursuing a career I hate and hanging on to a relationship that isn’t working.’ ” he said.

“I understand what you’re saying, Barca. I do. I know why you left the firm. That’s not the kind of law I want to practice either. It’s why I quit shortly after you resigned. I want to be a child advocate and help improve the foster care system. Trust me; you’re not going to get rich from doing that.”

“You sound so much like me back then. I was going to get my law degree and change the world.”

“I'm not an attorney yet and I know that one person can’t change the world.”

“And yet here we both are, NOT practicing law and our relationships on tenterhooks.”

Nasir gave a bark of laughter at that remark. Barca did have a point.  He asked, “So what to do then? Is this how you’re chasing your peace?”

“Not at the moment. I’ll admit these past few months I’ve spent a lot of time getting high and hanging out on the beach.” He shrugged, “I was burned out.”

Nasir nodded, “Copy.”

“But I heard from a friend of mine who lives in Kahului a few days ago. There’s a land rights dispute going on there. Some asshole land developer wants to build a huge golf resort there and the residents are fighting tooth and nail.”

“Does he want you to represent them?” Nasir asked.

“No, I’d be out in the field. Organizing the protest and getting the information about all the harm that type of development could do to that land. The place is pristine; virtually untouched for centuries. All types of rare wildlife and plants exist there.” Barca explained.

“Kahului sounds like someplace in Hawaii. You’re going to move to Hawaii?” Nasir demanded.

“It’s something that I’ve thought about.”

“Oh. Have you mentioned it to Agron?”

“Not yet. It’s only been a couple of days and like I said, I’m thinking about it.”

They had almost reached their destination and could see the others folding blankets and taking bags to the cars.  “I guess to wrap up this talk,” Nasir began. “I have to chase my own peace, and if my job or my relationship is interfering with that, end them.

Barca patted him on the back, “Nice summarization counselor.”

When they reached the cars, Lucretia told them they were going to swing by the rental shop and pick up Agron and Gaia. Agron had left his keys with Barca and he Castus proceeded to climb in his SUV. Castus opened the back door for Nasir but he turned away. Instead he opened the door to Lucretia’s Lexus and asked Belesa to slide over. He got in and shut the door not bothering to look in Castus’ direction.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Nasir was dead tired but it was his and Castus’ turn to cook dinner. He knew he should have taken a nap before he started but that proved impossible as Saxa and Belesa were going at it in the room next to his. He yawned widely as he prepared the skewers for his chicken and beef kabobs. His saffron rice was starting to cook and all that was needed were the vegetables which still lay uncut on the island. He looked around to see where Castus was and walked to the stairs of the upper landing.

“Castus!” he shouted. No answer.

He then went to the stairs that led to the entertainment room and shouted again, still no answer.

“Where the fuck is he?”

He went to the balcony doors and opened them. To his right, he saw Castus sitting in the very last lounge chair, nursing a glass.

“It’s our turn to cook.”

“Is it now?” Castus answered not looking at him.

“The grill needs to be lit and the vegetables need to be cut.”

“Do they?” Castus sipped his drink.

Nasir closed his eyes and gave a silent prayer asking for the restraint not to throw Castus over the balcony.

“Could you help me please?” Nasir asked in a low, dangerous voice.

Castus looked at him and smiled. “Of course, baby! All you had to do was ask.”

Nasir curled his upper lip in disgust but said nothing as Castus got up and followed him back into the kitchen. He checked on the progress of his rice while Castus shuffled to the sink to wash his hands. “What shall I do first? Light the grill or chop the peppers and onions?” He asked, still wearing a stupid smile.

“Start chopping, I’ll light the grill.”

“Whatever you say baby,” Castus said as he went over to the island and selected the largest of the knives from the block of wood where they were held. He plucked a large red pepper from a strainer and began to clumsily chop it into pieces.

Nasir shut his eyes and offered up another prayer as he went back on the balcony and started the grill. He lit a match and threw it on the bed of charcoal and hoped the fire would rise enough before everything was prepared. He was contemplating adding more lighter fluid when he heard, “AHHHH SHIT!!”

He ran back into the kitchen and saw Castus wincing in pain and holding his left hand. Blood was seeping between his fingers and Nasir’s breath caught. “Hold on! Let me get you to the sink.” He pushed Castus towards the kitchen sink and yanked away his right hand. He turned on the water and stuck the bloodied one under it. As the water poured over the hand, threads of blood ran over and fell into the sink revealing a deep inch cut on the knuckle of Castus’ forefinger. Nasir turned off the water once the blood was cleared and wrapped the finger in a dish towel. He then led Castus back to the island, sat him on the stool there and directed him to keep his hand elevated. The towel quickly became soaked in blood.

“Shit! I have to find the first aid kit. Stay here.” He ran upstairs but couldn’t remember where the kit was. He looked around and rapped his head with his knuckles trying to remember. Just then, Lucretia came out of her room.

“What’s wrong Nasir?” she asked.

“Castus cut his finger. Where’s the first aid kit?”

Lucretia pointed to a door in the hallway. “It’s in the supply closet over there. Is it bad?”

“Looks it. He’s bleeding through the towel.” Nasir said as he ripped open the door and grabbed the kit. He rushed back downstairs to see Castus wobbling on the stool and cradling his hand in his lap.

“You’re supposed to keep your hand elevated to stop the bleeding!” He said, exasperated. He grabbed Castus’ hand and unwrapped the towel from it. Lucretia had followed him down and opened the kit. She soon took over nursing duties and in no time, the blood had stopped and the finger was tightly bandaged.

“If it continues to bleed, we might have to go to the clinic. Alcohol tends to complicate matters.” She said as she gave Castus a disapproving look. “Why did you think it was a good idea to handle a knife like that in your state anyway?” She asked.

Castus looked at Nasir and said, “I had to do my duty and help cook, as commanded.”

Nasir threw him a nasty look and turned off his rice. “And you proved yourself to be completely useless. I got this. Go back on the balcony and finish your drink.”

Castus thew up his hands and smiled, “Looks like I must do as I’m told.” He got up and shuffled out of the kitchen and back onto the balcony.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

With Agron’s help, Nasir was able to complete dinner. The rice wasn’t up to Nasir’s satisfaction, but everyone else loved it. Soon, the kabobs, grilled veggies and rice were devoured. Saxa was particularly pleased and patted her flat belly in satisfaction. She had worked up quite an appetite. She and Belesa grinned at each other knowing why that was. Agron had grabbed a bottle of champagne and poured a glass for each occupant save Belesa and Castus and announced that he had great news to share.

“I’ve been holding on to this all day waiting for the final word. Kudos to Saxa for keeping her trap shut so that I can tell this.” Agron declared.

Saxa smirked, “My pleasure.”

“We closed on the new gym today!”

Everyone cheered and raised their glasses. Belesa raised her cup of tea.

Agron shouted, “A toast to the opening of The Ludus II this time next year!”

“Where’s it going to be located?” Gaia asked.

“Woodland Hills and I am going to be running the day to day operations there. I’m going to miss being near the beach but I’m so excited. We’re going to make this location _the_ prominent MMA training facility in Southern California. I can’t fucking wait.”

“Congratulations Agron. That’s wonderful news.”

“Thank you very much.” He clinked glasses with her.

“Yeah, Congrats,” Castus added. “I never pegged you as the entrepreneur type. It must be nice to have a partner who’s so ambitious and successful, Barca.”

Barca said nothing as Nasir glared at his boyfriend.

Castus then turned to Belesa. “How come you’re drinking tea, Miss Marple? What’s going on?”

Belesa shifted in her seat. “I’m not drinking tonight…or any other night for a while.”

“What for? You don’t look like an alcoholic to me.” He cackled. “Are you sure now? I got some of that good Armadale Vodka left if you want some.”

“I’m good Castus.” Belesa said firmly.

It was Saxa’s turn to glare at Castus. She really wanted to punch him in the face.

“Well um, I have something I want to announce as well,” Barca said breaking the tension.

“What is it?” Gaia asked in surprise.

 _Uh oh,_ Nasir thought.

“I’ve decided to accept a position as an organizer for the ‘Save the Kahului Valley’ initiative.”

“Where’s Kahului Valley?” Belesa asked.

Barca answered, “Hawaii.”

“You’re moving to Hawaii?” Lucretia demanded. She looked at Agron.

Agron smiled and shook his head. “This is news to me. Congratulations. I wish you the best.”

Barca gave him a long, searching look. “You as well,” he replied.

They both knew at that moment, their five year relationship was over.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Lucretia closed her eyes and leaned her head back against the side of the hot tub. She sighed as the bubbles rippled between her thighs and gently rolled over her middle. She felt Gaia’s feet touch hers and she opened her eyes again. Gaia gave her a warm smile which she returned.

“Another boring day,” Gaia said.

Lucretia let out a chuckle and shook her head. “Oh my, wasn’t it? I’m almost afraid to see what tomorrow will bring.”

“I’m not in the fortune telling business, but I predict another break up.”

Lucretia’s smile faded and she let out a tsk. “It’s just all so sad really. I feel so helpless watching all of this happen.”

“Maybe we should hold a relationship rescue seminar or something.” Gaia said.

“I don’t think Dr. Phil makes house calls. Besides, it’s going to take more than a talk over a four day holiday to rectify all their problems.” Lucretia said sadly.

“We’re so lucky.”

“We are? Why?”

Gaia smirked, “Because we’re perfect.”

Lucretia rolled her eyes, “Every couple has issues.” She said.

“And what are ours?” Gaia asked.

“How long do you have?”

Gaia laughed, “Touché.”

Lucretia nodded her head knowingly but said, “We’re okay though.”

“Yes.” Gaia leaned over and gave Lucretia a kiss.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Castus stumbled into the bedroom and nearly fell over. He managed to feel his way to the nightstand on his side of the bed and turn the lamp on. He saw Nasir lying on the bed fast asleep. He was on his back with his mouth slightly opened. Castus thought he never looked more beautiful.

He remembered their meeting two years prior.  Castus was hosting a private listening party for Mika’s new EP at a prominent gay club in West Los Angeles. He was on his way back to the VIP section when he ran head into a medium built dark haired man with large brown eyes. The stranger was slightly tipsy but had the good manners to offer apologies for his part in the collision. Castus was immediately smitten. Nevertheless, he managed to say something highly inappropriate. The man was more amused than offended and laughed. Castus pressed his good luck by asking the man his name.

“Nasir,” he told him with a smile.

What had gone so wrong? He sat down on the bed and reached out to touch an errant strand of hair that had fallen on Nasir’s face. Castus thought bitterly that he wouldn’t have allowed him to do that if he were awake. He saw Nasir’s brow furrow for a millisecond and wanted to call out his name. He wanted to wake him up and tell him that he was sorry for what he said. He was sorry for everything.


	4. Day Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 3 dawns and another set of issues affects one of our couples. Barca reflects, Saxa gives an ultimatum, Agron has all kinds of feels and Nasir discovers that he might be crazy but he isn't stupid. No boars or gators were harmed in the writing of this chapter.
> 
> "Thank the Gods for Agron, dill sauce and Pinot Grigio."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains drug use, implied sexual situations and naturally more cursing.

Day 3

Barca held his hand aloft briefly before deciding whether or not to touch Agron. He knew his now former boyfriend was a light sleeper and hated to be awakened by anything other than his alarm. He decided to risk life and limb regardless. He did not like the way it all ended the night before and he felt that Agron deserved an explanation for his actions.

He sat on the edge of the couch and gently shook Agron’s thigh. He didn’t move so Barca shook it again. Agron’s eyes flew open and looked around wildly in an attempt to gain his bearings and find out who had so rudely interrupted his fitful sleep. When he saw Barca sitting above him, he closed his eyes and sighed. He was definitely not the first thing he wanted to see in the morning.

“I’m pretty positive that whatever you needed to say could have waited until the sun actually came up.” Agron groaned out.

“It could have but I felt awful about last night and since you decided to sleep down here on the couch…”

“What sense would it have made to share a bed? It’s official, we can stop pretending now.” Agron said.

Barca exhaled. He knew Agron was a hundred percent right. It was over. Five years done in just a few sentences. “We’ll have to talk about arrangements and…”

Agron interrupted, “I’ve already put in a search for apartments. I should be out of your house in about a month. What I can’t move immediately, I’ll put in storage.”

Barca looked hurt.  He said, “My house? Agron, that was as much your house as it was mine.”

“Not anymore.”

Barca noticed that he had not removed his hand from Agron. The finality of that last statement hit hard. “I’m sorry,” he said.

“I am too.”

“I want to thank you for five incredible years. You’re an amazing man, Agron.”

“The last four and half were, no doubt. But uh,” Agron said. He was finding it difficult to speak. “I want to thank you as well. I wouldn’t be the man I am without you. I will always be grateful to you.” He felt the tears, hot and fast spilling out over the corners of his eyes.

“You’re welcome. It was my greatest pleasure. No one deserves happiness more than you. It’s a shame I could no longer give it you.” Barca felt his voice tremble.

“I hope you find it within yourself, Barca.”

Barca nodded, unable to speak. As sad as he was in that moment, he was glad that they were able to say these things to one another. He wouldn’t be able to bear having any lingering bitterness between them. It was to Agron’s enormous credit for not dwelling on the rough times. He mused for a second if he would ever find someone else like the Aussie. He doubted it.

Barca sniffed and patted Agron’s thigh. “I’ll let you get back to sleep. We’ll talk some more about your move when we get back ho--, to L.A.”

“Okay.” Just then, whirring sounds came from the kitchen upstairs. Agron growled.

“What is that?” Barca asked.

“Saxa,” Agron said through gritted teeth. He sat up and threw off the covers. He immediately regretted his hasty action as his back and head expressed their displeasure. Agron grunted and held his head in his hands. It thumped against his palms and he swore right then and there he would never drink champagne again.

“You okay?”

“Yeah,” Agron answered. “As soon as I take a big pain pill and toss that fucking mixer out the window.”

Barca and Agron made their way upstairs to the kitchen. Saxa was as expected standing near the mixer making her morning drink. She saw them ascend and her eyes widened a bit. She didn’t expect to see them together and so early.

She asked, “Everything alright?”

“It was until you started that thing.” Agron replied bitterly. He went to the counter and grabbed a bottle of water.

“Good morning Saxa.” Barca said.

“Morning, didn’t expect to see you two together.”

“Forever straightforward,” Barca chuckled. “Agron and I had some things to discuss.”

Saxa looked at Agron who kept his back turned. She was surprised not to hear yelling and the breaking of things considering that was Agron’s usual _modi operandi_ when things went badly for him. She figured he must really be hurt and decided to keep her comments to herself.

“Hope it went well. Would you like some of my energy drink?” She asked Barca.

Agron called out, “Barca, please consider this a parting gift. Whatever you do, don’t drink that stuff.”

Saxa curled her upper lip into a snarl and pressed the ‘high” button on the mixer. The whirring immediately switched to a high pitched whine. Agron winced.

“Actually, I was going to start some coffee.” Barca replied.

“This will make you feel so much better. It’ll wake up right up.”

Barca hesitated and saw Agron shaking his head from the corner of his eye. “That’s okay. Coffee and juice will work just fine.”

“Good decision, mate.” Agron said and handed the bag of coffee to Barca.

“Are going to run with me this morning?” Saxa asked Agron as she poured her drink into a glass.

“I feel fucking awful this morning, I’ll pass.”

“What about you Barca? A nice run will do you good.”

Barca shrugged and said, “Sure, why not?” Saxa was a hard woman to say no to.

“Great. Meet you next to the garage in 15.” She gulped down her drink, rinsed out the mixer and the glass and then bounded out of the kitchen.

“I know this has been a shitty morning Barca, but no there’s no need to torture yourself.” Agron quipped.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Gaia stretched hard and felt her back crack. She let out a little, “Ooh” in surprise. She didn’t realize she had worked herself so hard the night before, but seeing the serene expression on Lucretia’s face let her know it wasn’t for naught.

She slid closer to her love and laid her head on her chest. Lucretia’s breath was steady and her heartbeat strong. Gaia loved listening to it. Her hands caressed Lucretia’s bare side and she closed her eyes again.

Lucretia had been awake for several minutes after hearing Saxa in the kitchen. She inwardly smiled as Gaia moved closer to her. Their sweet morning ritual, unchanged for a decade had always lifted her spirits no matter the events of the preceding evening. Of those, she was more than satisfied. They used everything from Gaia’s goodie bag, including the new toy and Lucretia immediately became a convert. She didn’t even mind the neon green glow.

“Morning lover,” She murmured.

“I didn’t want to disturb you too much. You looked so beautiful sleeping.” Gaia said softly.

“How can I stay asleep with such careful attention being made to me?”

“I aim to please. It’s quite an enjoyable job if you didn’t know.”

Lucretia gave a deep throaty laugh and kissed the top of Gaia’s head. “I do know. I wish it could always be like this.”

Gaia propped her head up, “Whatever do you mean? Don’t you have everything you could possibly wish for?”

Lucretia paused and said nothing as she stroked Gaia’s hair. She wished she could answer that question in the affirmative.

“Hello? Earth to Lucretia”

She sighed, “I am happy, Gaia. But there is something missing.”

Gaia closed her eyes and let go of Lucretia. She lay on her back facing the ceiling. “We’re going to talk about this again?”

Lucretia propped herself on an elbow and looked at Gaia, “Have we been actually talking? I only recall mentioning having a child and you changing the subject immediately.”

Gaia blinked and pulled her mouth into a firm line. She knew Lucretia was right in that. Her attempts to put off the discussion had not been missed. She just didn’t understand Lucretia’s obsession with having a baby. It was something that she had never thought about because she absolutely had no desire to become a mother. She loved her life exactly as it was. Why wasn’t it enough for Lucretia?

“Gaia, look at me.”

Gaia turned her head and frowned at her. “We don’t have to make a decision right now. All I’m asking is that we talk about this.” Gaia started to answer, but Lucretia stopped her. “Just talk,” Lucretia went on. “It’s only fair.”

“You ought to know my thoughts on this.” Gaia said flatly.

“I actually don’t because you shut down whenever I even began to approach you with it. Can you promise me one thing?”

Gaia crossed her arms and knew she was going to regret it if she didn’t, “Sure. What?”

“I have an appointment with a fertility specialist in two weeks. I’d like it if you would go with me.”

Gaia sat up. “That looks like you’ve moved past discussion.”

“No I haven’t,” Lucretia answered. “Much depends upon what the Doctor tells me. There is a very real possibility that it may be too late for any attempt. I won’t know until then. I just need you there in case.”

Gaia turned her head and pulled the cover up closer to her body. She was doing anything she could to delay her answer, simply because she didn’t know what her answer would be. She felt backed into a corner and she didn’t like it. She had to find some way to balance the scale.

“All right, I’ll go.” She said as Lucretia exhaled in relief. “But I need you to promise me something.”

“Okay, what is that?”

“We table this discussion until your appointment.”

Lucretia blinked but recovered quickly, “Sure, we can do that.”

“Good.” Gaia got out of bed and put on her robe. “I smell coffee. I’m going down to get some. Do you want me to bring you a cup?”

“Please.”

Gaia left the room and Lucretia lay back down. She wondered what path had she begun to lead them on and an overwhelming feeling of anxiety swept through her.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Nasir was awakened not by a gentle touch but by a profanity laced tirade directed at a finger.

“Shit! Motherfucker hurts like hell.”

He rolled over to see Castus examining his finger. The wrapping had slipped and the cut looked red and angry.

Castus caught him looking and looked apologetic. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you up.”

“It’s okay,” Nasir said quietly. “Do you want me to get the first aid kit?”

“No. I know where it is. I’m going to take a shower and re-do this bandage. Go back to sleep.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah,” Castus answered. “I’m good.” He gave a small smile in reassurance. Nasir gave one back. He then got up and Nasir noticed he was naked. He immediately turned his head. He didn’t need to see Castus in all his glory, things were confused enough.

Castus grabbed his robe, towel and shower kit and said goodbye as he left. Nasir lay back down and closed his eyes, trying to erase the sight of his naked lover’s form from his mind. He exhorted himself to show some control. He was still very angry. Then a phone started to vibrate loudly.

“Shit.”

He sat up and looked around searching for his own phone. He picked it up and realized that it wasn’t his. He heard the ‘hmmmmmm’ again and got out bed, not knowing where the sound was coming from. He started to look around again when it went off a third time. It was coming from a pile of clothes on the floor. It was Castus’ phone. He went over and picked up the pair of pants and ruffled through the pockets. He found it and pulled it out. He noticed that the phone was red.

Castus always had two phones, one for work and one for personal use. His work phone was black. Nasir stopped himself. There was no reason for him to look and see who was trying to contact Castus this early from his personal phone. He told himself again that he wasn’t _that_ kind of boyfriend. The phone vibrated in his hand and he nearly dropped it. He recovered and took a quick look at the home screen. It was a message, from someone named Tiberius.

Nasir dropped the pair of pants and gave the door a furtive glance. He went to the bed and sat down. _Who the hell is Tiberius and how come Castus never mentioned him?”_ He looked at the door again and tapped the screen. The screen lock menu appeared and Nasir began to wonder if Castus was still as predictable as he suspected. He typed in the four digits of Castus’ mother’s birthday and the home screen appeared again. Apparently he was. Castus told him ages ago that he always used the same four digit code for everything because it was the only one he could remember. Since they had the same brand of phone, Nasir found the message icon and began his search. As he read the messages, his mouth fell open in disbelief. He wasn’t crazy after all. The messages told him so. Starting with, ‘ **Babe, worried about u. U didn’t sound right last night. Call me plz.”** It went on from there and they detailed _months_ of sexting and hookups. And this: **‘Had the best time!!! We gotta go to SD again. It was so LIVE!!’** _He took that motherfucker to San Diego_!

Nasir stopped and caught his breath. He started to shake with rage but he knew going completely off wasn’t the thing to do, not at that time. He willed himself to stay where he was and not barge into the bathroom and throttle Castus. He tried to calm down in order to figure out what to do. He looked at the phone and tapped the name. Tiberius’ contact information popped up. He committed it to memory and switched the phone back to the home screen. He picked up the pants and put the phone back into the pocket. After several deep breaths, he ran his fingers through his hair and began to dress quickly. He grabbed his own phone and left the room.

Belesa and Gaia were in the kitchen chatting when Nasir came down the stairs. He didn’t want to give them any indication that something was wrong, so he affixed the fakest smile imaginable to his face and gave a cheery greeting. When they asked where he was going, he just said off-handedly, “Oh, for a walk.” He went outside and started towards the hiking trail. He wanted to do so much; yell, throw something, bash someone’s head in, but he just kept walking. Dawn had finally broken, signaling the start of a new day, but he felt as if everything had ended. He continued up the trail.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Saxa looked back and saw Barca lagging further and further behind. She halted and waited for him to catch up. She clapped her hands to spur him on, “C’mon Barca! Keep going!” She yelled.

Barca felt the weight of regret with each step. What possessed him to go running with Saxa of all people? She was nothing but a drill sergeant in leggings and there she was clapping and barking at him like some recruit. _I should have listened to Agron_ , he thought. He stopped in front of her and bent over coughing. “I need some rest. I’m not a young buck anymore.”

“Okay, five minute rest and we start again.”

“Five?”

“Five.”

“No one can say you aren’t dedicated, Saxa.” Barca breathed out as he flopped to the ground.

“I have more clients than anyone at The Ludus. People know that when they work with me, they’re going to get results.” Saxa bragged.

“I can see that.”

“Thank you.”

“You always wanted to do this?”

Saxa paused in mid-stretch and thought for a minute. “No. It was something I fell into. I was always athletic. I used to run Cross Country in high school and college, but my degree was in biology.”

“Get out, really?”

“Yeah, I had planned on going to medical school. You know, my folks are famers from Kansas. I wanted to be the first to graduate from college and become a real professional, but I found out I liked training people a lot more than looking at viral activity under a microscope.” She laughed.

“Well, it suits you.”

“I love seeing people who have dieted for twenty years get on the scale for the first time after working with me and seeing real progress, y’know?” She smiled widely, “I guess I like helping people finally feel good about themselves.”

Barca smiled with her, “Sounds like you’ve found your calling.” He said.

“I’m actually thinking about becoming a Sports Therapist.”

“That would be awesome.”

“Yeah, they have a degree program at USC. It’s a full time program so I would have to cut back on my clients. But…with everything going on with Belesa right now, I don’t think I can swing it this year.” She said.

“About that, is she going to a rehab program or NA?” Barca asked.

“I don’t know. Lucretia said she had the number of a therapist. She’s going to get it from her before we leave.” Saxa answered.

Barca stood up and faced Saxa, “The problem is lot more serious than you know. She should be talking with that therapist right now.” He said.

“What are you talking about?”

Barca took a deep breath, “The other night when I carried Belesa to bed, she told me that she’s been taking pills and using cocaine.”

Saxa took a step back. “What? She told you that? Why would she keep something like that from me?”

“She told me after I asked her about her frequent trips to the bathroom. I think you can probably figure out why she wouldn’t want you to know. She’s afraid of losing you.” Barca said.

“She’s been lying to me over and over again!” Saxa turned away and started to walk back towards the direction of the house.

Barca took her arm and turned her back to him. He wanted to calm her down before she worked herself into a rage. “She’s an alcoholic and an addict, Saxa. She may not realize it, but that’s what she is. Alcoholics and addicts hide things.”

Saxa tried to break away. She was starting to seethe. “I can’t believe this shit. Drinking is one thing, but coke? She could go jail! If I’m with her and she has some, I could go to jail too!” She yelled.

“Maybe, but-” Barca replied.

“Let me go, Barca! I’m going back to the house and I’m going to straighten this shit out, right now.”

Barca maintained his hold on her arm. “By ranting and raving at her?”

“Yes!”

Barca asked quietly, “Because that’s helped before?”

Saxa halted, her mouth formed a moue of distress. Barca released her arm and she stayed where she was. “Shit,” she cried. “I don’t need this right now. Everything was going so great and now it’s all gone to hell. What am I going to do?”

“Calm down, find Lucretia, get the number for the therapist and give it Belesa.”

Saxa opened her eyes wider to keep herself from crying. Tears were useless to her.

“What if she doesn’t take it?” She asked.

“She’ll resist. She will cry and plead and give you another story. The difference will be that you know everything now and you can set the terms.”

She looked at him. “You mean give her an ultimatum?”

“That’s up to you. If you think you need to go that route, then so be it. But if you do, commit to it.”

Saxa started to pace and Barca readied himself just in case she decided to take off and make a mad rush to the house. She stopped after a while and looked at him, “Okay, let’s go back.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, I’m ready.”

They walked side by side back down the trail back to the house.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Nasir had deliberately taken the western direction of the trail when he had left the house. He knew that Saxa jogged every morning and was a creature of habit, so he made sure he went in the opposite direction of her known path in order to avoid her. For the past half hour, he sat on an old tree stump and worked on his phone. He had never been a huge fan of Facebook, he joined mainly to keep up with his old friends from Seattle and rarely updated his page. But he thanked the Gods for the information it was able to provide. He learned that the guy Castus was having an affair with was named Tiberius Crassus and he was a student at UCLA. _A fucking undergrad!_ Nasir fumed. He didn’t know what the young man was learning, but he obviously didn’t know anything about privacy settings. Nasir was able to check his photo albums and friends list. There, he found even more evidence. Castus wasn’t stupid enough to post on Tiberius’ page or allow picture tags, but he was seemingly unaware that his new lover had posted several pictures of him during their romantic getaway in San Diego in one of his albums.

There they were, lounging by the pool, partying at the club and driving around the city taking stupid selfies in the car. He felt sick looking at them. While he was laid up in his bed with a 101 degree fever, Castus was having a rendezvous with some campus twink. He remembered the condom in the bathroom and Nasir had a vision of Castus rushing him out the front door of his apartment so that he could sneak the Boy Wonder in from the back for a tryst. _Jesus._ He looked at the pictures again and concentrated on Tiberius’ face. He had a feeling he had seen him before somewhere, he just couldn’t remember. The boy had short dark hair and brown eyes. His face was handsome, framed with chiseled cheekbones and full lips. He was good looking, he couldn’t deny that. Nasir wasn’t surprised that a pretty young thing like him had caught Castus’ eye.

He chastised himself, _you were such a fool_! _Why didn’t you pick up on this earlier? The signs were all there._ The full weight of Castus’ betrayal fell upon him then. He desperately tried to will the oncoming panic attack away, but he couldn’t prevent his breath becoming irregular as his chest tightened up. The phone dropped from his hands and he grabbed his head to still the pounding. It was the first attack he had suffered since the bar examination. A voice within him commanded him to take a deep breath, then another and another.

“Breathe,” it said. “Just keep breathing.”

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Castus trudged downstairs still feeling the effects of the previous night’s binge. The long, hot shower failed to ease the aching of his head and shoulders. The new wrap job on his finger did nothing to soothe the throbbing pain. He gave himself an “F” for his self-care efforts.  He needed pain medication and a big glass of something that didn’t contain alcohol.

He walked in on Belesa fiddling with a Belgium Waffle maker at the kitchen counter. She had her hair pinned in a bun and wore a flowered apron. She looked weirdly domestic, the polar opposite of her wild party girl image. Castus figured that she was trying to change and started to regret his needling of her the night before. As he went to the refrigerator and grabbed the huge bottle of orange juice, he noticed that she was still having difficulty with the appliance.

“Having problems?”

“No,” she answered. “I got it. I don’t think I turned heat up enough.”

He said, “Um, maybe if you plugged it in?”

“What?”

He walked over to the counter and put the plug in the outlet. “There you go.”

Belesa’s shoulders slumped, “I guess the housewife jig is up.” She said.

Castus started to giggle; she took one look at him and started to giggle too.

“You’re trying, Bee. That counts for something.” Castus said.

“Yeah, no breakfast,” Belesa snorted. She picked up a whisk and started stirring the batter to prevent it from settling.  “I might have something ready by noon. Stay tuned.”

“It’s all right. I can wait. My guts are at war with my head.”

“I know the feeling.”

Castus lowered his head guiltily and poured his juice. He wasn’t one of those drinkers who could conveniently forget less than stellar behavior while inebriated. He placed a hand at Belesa’s back to get her attention. “I’m sorry for what I said last night. When you told me that you’d stop drinking, I should have left it there. I know you’re struggling with some things and I should have respected that.”

“Thank you. I appreciate it.”

“You’re gonna get through this, Bee. Okay?”

Belesa looked away and nodded. “Yeah I will…but my biggest challenge right now is getting this breakfast together.”

“Good luck. I would help, but I don’t want to burn Lucretia’s house down.” He held up his hands and backed away.

“Nooooo! Come back!”

Just then, Saxa and Barca entered from the garage stairs. Belesa greeted them and eyed Saxa intently. She was hoping Saxa would see the state of the kitchen counter and offer her help, but she refused eye contact.

Barca grabbed water bottles for both and them but then exited the kitchen quickly.

“You look like you barely worked up a sweat.” Belesa said.

“Well Barca’s no runner, so I had to take it a bit easy today.” Saxa replied and sipped her water.

Belesa grinned, “I hope you worked a good appetite for the breakfast that will be ready as soon as you help me.” She said as she twisted her fingers.

Saxa paused and put her water down. She was so ready to confront her girlfriend when she was outside, but standing in the same room with her, she knew she needed some reinforcements. She was tempted to call Barca back into the kitchen.

“Saxaaa,” Belesa sang.

“Oh, I’m sorry. Um, let me freshen up a bit and then I’ll come back down.”

“Okay, Hurry.”

“Yep,” Saxa answered and walked out. Castus stopped her as she was walking out. “Where’s Nasir?”

“I don’t know.”

“He didn’t go running with you and Barca?”

“No. I haven’t seen him.” She continued on her way but she didn’t go to her bedroom. She walked to Lucretia and Gaia’s bedroom door and stood outside waiting to hear voices. She hated the thought of waking them up with drama but when she heard Lucretia, she knocked softly.

“Come in,” said a voice.

She opened the door. Lucretia and Gaia were straightening up their room while waiting for breakfast. Saxa stepped in, unsure as to how to begin. Among the myriad of things Saxa hated, asking for help was at the top of the list. She knew that as angry as she was, she was ill-equipped to confront Belesa with what she knew. It was a delicate situation; their relationship hung in the balance and she didn’t want to destroy things by coming hard with a heavy hand.

“Hey Saxa, what’s going on?” Lucretia asked.

“I was wondering if I could have the number of the therapist you mentioned.”

Lucretia took in Saxa as she stood in front of her. She had never seen her look so unsure of herself. She had an inkling as to what lay behind the request, but she wanted to know if Saxa would actually tell her.

“Did something happen? Do you need to call him right now?”

Saxa hesitated, “Not right now. I just want to give it to Belesa because we need to talk about what’s going to happen when we get back to L.A.”

“Is that all or did you find out something else?” Gaia asked, never one to mince words.

After that question, Saxa knew there was no point in keeping what she knew about Belesa’s drug use under wraps. She told them what Barca had revealed to her during their run earlier. Lucretia said nothing as she went to her phone and pulled up the contact information. She wrote it down on a slip of paper and handed it wordlessly to Saxa.

“Thank you.” Saxa said softly.

“Did you need a few to get your thoughts together? You can hang out here.” Gaia offered.

“I told Bee that I would help her with breakfast. She’s expecting me any minute now.” However, she remained rooted to the spot.

Lucretia couldn’t help but remember how it was being in Saxa’s place. The pain she saw etched on the beautiful blonde’s face mirrored her own on so many occasions. She went to Saxa and put her arms around her shoulders. She felt there was no need for speeches or platitudes. Back when Lucretia was falling apart after her mother’s death, Saxa sat at her side and held her hand in silent support. Lucretia knew it was time to return favor.

Saxa closed her eyes and held tightly onto the piece of paper Lucretia gave her. “Why is this so hard?” she asked. “I should just march downstairs and shove this in her face and tell her, ‘Call this guy now.’”

“I don’t think you’re as afraid of what you have to do as what she might do.” Gaia said.

Saxa whispered, “If she says no, I’ll have to let her go.”

“That is a possibility. But if she says yes, there’s also a chance your relationship won’t survive. Usually when someone seeks help and enters rehab, they uncover all of the reasons behind their addictions and it changes them. Their partners and loved ones often find that process too much to endure.” Lucretia said.

Saxa looked at her in surprise. Lucretia was rarely so blunt, but she knew from Lucretia’s experience she was telling the truth. At the moment, Lucretia and her brother were estranged. Saxa looked upward hoping maybe she’ll see a sign or a set of directions on the ceiling. There were none. She realized that there was no point in delaying the inevitable. She squeezed Lucretia’s hand and stood up.

“I’ll go and talk to her now.”

Gaia said, “Ok. We’ll walk down with you.”

“I can’t thank you two enough, for everything.”

“Don’t mention it.” Lucretia said.

Gaia and Lucretia led Saxa out the door and down the stairs.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Barca closed the closet door quietly after he removed his outfit in fear of waking up a snoring Agron. His effort was for naught as Agron snapped awake and lifted his head up.

“There you go waking me up again.”

“Sorry. I tried to be quiet.”

“No worries. I was just surprised I was able to do it.”

“You must have been really tired. You were snoring.”

Agron looked affronted, “I don’t snore.”

Barca gave him a, ‘you’ve got to be kidding me’ look. “After sharing a bed with you for years, believe me when I tell you, you snore.”

Agron ignored the remark and stood up. He stretched and heard his stomach growl. “I’m famished. Who’s cooking breakfast this morning?”

“Bee, but you might want to go down and fix something yourself.” Barca answered.

“I should say so. When did Belesa think she could cook an entire breakfast on her own?”

Barca shifted from one foot to another, “It’s not just that. Saxa’s about to pull her aside to talk to her.”

“About?” Agron inquired. He noticed Barca’s expression and then sighed. “You told her.”

“Yes I did.”

Agron threw up his hands in exasperation, “Why? I thought we were going to wait to see if Belesa would tell her.”

“That was you,” Barca replied. “I made no such declaration.”

“So you just decided upon yourself to interfere in their relationship.”

“How do you think Saxa would feel knowing that we knew this for days and never mentioned it?”

Agron shook his head stubbornly, “Not as bad she would feel not hearing it from her girlfriend. You know, the person who actually has the problem? I’m worried this could turn ugly.” He wiped his tired looking face with his hand.

It was Barca’s turn to shake his head. He said, “Bee and Saxa are our friends. I wasn’t just going to sit on my hands and do nothing. I managed to calm her down before she was able to storm back to the house ready to take heads. I told her to talk to Lucretia first.”

“You better hope Lucretia was able to get through to her.”

“I think you’re underestimating her and the situation. I would have thought you understood considering what happened with Duro.”

Agron looked furiously at Barca for a moment but then turned away. He realized that since they were no longer together, he didn’t need to beg Barca to try to see his side of things. “That was a completely different situation,” he said and started towards the bedroom door.

“Was it? Agron, I’m right in this. There will come a time when you’ll find the need to intervene as well.”

“That time isn’t now.” Agron said and walked out.

As he made his way into the kitchen, Agron walked into a scene he didn’t want to witness. Saxa was whispering quietly to Belesa while taking the spatula out of her hand. Belesa looked confused as Saxa beckoned her towards the stairs. He heard Belesa ask, “Why can’t you just tell me what’s going right here?”

He saw Gaia and Lucretia standing guard in the hallway. He thought he had accidentally tripped into a scene from “Intervention” and he had a wild image of Belesa running from the house screaming and cursing. He thought back to his family’s own disastrous attempt at confronting his brother over his drug use. He did not want to relive that again. He left Gaia and Lucretia to their sentry duties and began making himself breakfast. He had no intention of trying Belesa’s creations.

Nasir walked in the front door. Lucretia saw his sweaty hair, dusty clothes and dirt streaked cheeks and wondered if had actually slept outside. He said, “Hey” to her and Gaia and headed straight for the refrigerator. He was dazed and parched from his efforts to stop his panic attack. Agron looked at him and was about to make a joke, but something in Nasir’s expression made him stop.

“You okay?” He asked. Nasir nodded as sucked down half a bottle of water. He wasn’t of course.

Gaia came into the kitchen and poured herself another cup of coffee. She asked Lucretia if she wanted anything to eat as she looked to try to salvage Belesa’s breakfast. Lucretia threw an anxious look upstairs before refusing.

She walked in and joined Gaia and Agron at the island. They exchanged a bit of small talk as Nasir was polishing off a second bottle with his back turned to them. Castus then opened the balcony door and stepped into the kitchen. Nasir froze. He had seen Castus slip his phone into his pocket as he entered. _That fucking red phone._ He was probably talking to his side piece of ass, making plans to hook up once he got back to Los Angeles, Nasir thought.

“There you are. What did you do, sleep outside? You look a hot mess.” Castus said as looked Nasir up and down. Nasir didn’t respond, he just glared.

“What’s the matter?

Nasir gestured towards Castus’ pocket, “Take a guess.”

“Huh?”

Nasir didn’t reply.

“It’s a little early to start playing these games. If you’ve got something to say Nasir then say it.”

“Why don’t you start saying something for a change, like the truth?” A useless request.  Castus he knew, had been lying for months.

Agron, Gaia and Lucretia all stirred. There was something in Nasir’s tone that indicated that this was going to be a brutal fight.  They readied themselves to either step in or flee.

“What am I supposed to be lying about now? Should I confess I didn’t fold my towel when I finished drying off?”

Nasir put his the empty water bottle down on the counter and squared himself up right in front of him. “Try again you bastard,” he said stonily.

There was a flicker of uncertainty in Castus’ eyes when he heard that. “I don’t know what you want from me. Then again, I never do. But can we cut the craziness out for at least one goddamn day?”

Lucretia tried to grab Gaia’s hand and take her out of the kitchen, but she didn’t move.

“I’m crazy huh?” Nasir asked. His voice was low and steady.

“You walk in looking like you slept under a log, coming at me with nonsense…Yeah.”

Nasir saw a flash of red and before he knew it, he hit Castus in the face. The force of the blow knocked Castus back into the balcony doors. Within a half a second, Agron was upon him holding him back. Lucretia and Gaia had their hands to their mouths in shock.

It was Castus’ turn to lose it. “Have you lost your fucking mind? Don’t ever put your hands on me!”

Agron was struggling to hold on to Nasir. His slight frame belied his strength. “Hold on!” He shouted.

Nasir wasn’t listening. He was pushing against Agron in an effort to go after Castus again. Lucretia was shouting at him to stop. Gaia stepped in between the three, putting her hand to Castus’ chest to keep him away. All of their voices started to override until,

“What the fuck are you going to do, huh? Have your other man come up here and both of you take me on?” Nasir shouted.

‘What the hell are you talking about?” Castus yelled.

“Tiberius!” Nasir yelled back.

Castus looked stunned. In fact, everyone else did too.

“Yeah, I know about you and him.”

Castus began to stammer, “What the fuck?”

“Your fucking phone! I saw the texts. All the love talk, the hook-ups, _San Diego_! You really should have changed you pin number.” Nasir shook off Agron’s grip. Agron didn’t resist. He was too busy giving Castus his own look of disgust.

Barca, Saxa and Belesa rushed into the kitchen after hearing all of the clamor.

“You went through my phone?” Castus asked, seething.

“Of course I did since you were stupid enough to leave it lying around. I should have done it months ago and dropped your ass then!” Nasir exclaimed.

“Nasir look-“

“Oh please, don’t try to deny it. Not after I’ve seen the nice pictures of you two that Tiberius posted on his Facebook page from your trip.”

Castus shut his eyes after that revelation.

“Crazy maybe, but I’m not stupid.” Nasir stepped closer to Castus and Agron gave him a warning look.

“The thing is, I probably would have gotten over the cheating. But the fact that you let me agonize over this shit for months, and you were perfectly content to watch me do it without ever fessing up to what you did,” Nasir pointed his finger at Castus. “Is something I’ll never fucking forgive you for.” His breath was ragged but he made his way towards the kitchen doorway. He resisted off all attempts to stop or comfort him.

He turned to face Castus one last time, “We’re done.” With that, he walked out and went upstairs.

Once he was out of sight, everyone looked at Castus who still stood by the balcony doors. He looked as if he had been slammed by semi. He reeled slightly, rubbing his jaw where he had been hit and then began to walk out with his head down. He had his fill of accusing eyes.

“Castus-“Gaia called. He ignored her and left the kitchen. He went to the front door and stepped outside. He walked over the front lawn and then to the side of the house. His anger and disbelief bubbling over. He saw a pair of trash cans and picked one up and threw it. Debris scattered but he didn’t care. He gave the can a good kick. He had a mind to go back into the house and face Nasir again to let him know exactly how felt to be treated like shit for months. He quickly brushed aside that notion. He knew Nasir wouldn’t listen. Any attempt to try to explain things would just escalate the situation and they probably would wind up trying to kill each other.

The kicker was that Castus had agreed to come to Lake Tahoe in order to work it out with Nasir. He knew that despite all of their issues, he was the love of Castus’ life. He had actually planned on ending his relationship (if he could call it that) with Tiberius when they got back to Los Angeles. That plan was now scuttled. He fucked up royally and he knew that, if nothing else. He looked ruefully at his phone, the current bane of his existence and started to dial.

In the meantime back in the kitchen, “What the hell is happening here?” Barca asked to no one in particular. No one spoke up. Gaia and Lucretia swapped expressions of pain. Agron folded his arms and looked at his feet. Saxa and Belesa were shell shocked.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Two hours later, Lucretia had managed to get Nasir to open his bedroom door so that Castus could get his things. She discovered that Nasir packed everything and had it all waiting by the door. Gaia had tried to convince Castus to stay until he it was time for him to fly out the next morning, but he was determined to leave as quickly as possible. When the service car drove up to the garage and honked, Castus was getting help with his bags by the driver when Agron walked out holding his shaving kit.

“You forgot this.” Agron said tossing it to him.

Castus caught it. “You’re probably the second happiest person to see me leave.” He said nastily.

“Don’t flatter yourself, mate.” Agron gave him his most dangerous smile. The one he wore right before he exploded.

“I’m sure of one thing,” Castus said as he closed the trunk. “You’ll be hanging around Nasir ready to lend an ear, a hand, or something.”

“Goodbye Castus. Try not crash into a ravine and die… or something.” Agron retorted. He turned his back and left.  Castus gave Lucretia and Gaia his thanks and departed without saying anything else to the others.

Gaia watched the car disappear down the road. “I don’t think we’ll be seeing him ever again.”

Lucretia gave a rueful look and stated, “No. Not likely. I’m almost afraid to go back into my own house. I don’t know what’s going to happen next.”

“I think that’s why we should go to the Richardson’s cookout as planned. We need to do something to fun this afternoon to make up for this shitstorm of a morning.” Gaia said.

“I don’t think anyone else will be up to attending.”

Gaia smiled, “Perfect reason for us to go.”

Lucretia wrapped her arm around Gaia and they walked back together into the garage.

Agron had cleaned up the kitchen, taken a shower, fixed his hair and finally shaved off the three days’ worth of stubble from his face. He then started to fold his freshly laundered clothes into his bag in preparation for the next day’s return trip. His endeavors were merely a way to keep busy and take his mind off of the morning’s events. After the tears shed during his talk with Barca, the fretting over Saxa’s response to Belesa’s lying, and witnessing Nasir and Castus’ horrible break up, he was emotionally spent.

But he couldn’t stop thinking about his friend. He would often stop to listen for Nasir’s door to open. He wanted very much to see how he was doing, but he figured that Nasir probably wouldn’t be in the mood to talk. He kept going back to the scene in the kitchen earlier and the haunted look in Nasir’s eyes as he walked away from them. He never really liked Castus and after everything that went down, he found himself hating him. Someone who was capable of hurting a guy as unique as Nasir deserved no better than utter contempt. He regretted not punching Castus in the throat before he left.

He looked at saw that he had folded the same shirt three times and abandoned his task. He got up and left his (former) bedroom and entered the hallway. Barca was on his way upstairs.

“You’re dressed,” Agron said. “In regular clothes.”

Barca was indeed dressed in a pair of jeans and a button down shirt. Agron was a bit shocked that Barca still owned clothing that wasn’t covered in wrinkles or decorated with holes.

“I’m going to the cookout with Lucretia and Gaia. I was just on my way to see if they were ready.”

“Oh shit, I forgot all about that.”

The Richardsons were long time neighbors and friends of Lucretia and each year they hosted a Labor Day cookout at their home. What made it the event so special was that they eschewed the ordinary fare usually associated with cookouts. While others grilled hot dogs and burgers, the Richardson’s served exotic meats like wild boar, bison and shark (much to Lucretia’s dismay). They were also enjoyed hiring unusual entertainment for their guests. In previous years, they had hired contortionists, illusionists and even Chinese acrobats. Each time they sought to top themselves and attending their affair was always a highlight of Lucretia and her friends’ vacation. Unfortunately, the disintegration of another couple’s relationship soured any desire to attend, for Agron especially.

“It’s not too late to change your mind. You showered at least.”

“Heh,” Agron replied. “No. I think I’m going to sit this year out. I’m really not in the mood to party and I’m sure no one wants to hear me whinge over my roast boar. I take it Saxa and Belesa aren’t going either.” He hadn’t seen them since this morning but he didn’t think they were in the party mood either.

“No.”

“Well try to have fun for all of us. If it’s possible. It probably isn’t since we’re all a bunch of miserable sods at the moment.”

“Will do.”

Lucretia and Gaia came out from their bedroom. Each was dressed beautifully. Lucretia wore a sleeveless dress of pale green. Gaia was donned in a decorated tank top the color of molten gold with black leggings and ridiculously high black wedges.  Agron gave a wolf whistle as they approached him and Barca.

“You ladies look lovely.” Agron said. Barca nodded in agreement.

“Thank you darling,” Gaia purred.

“Have a good time and bring me back some boar meat.” Agron said.

“We’ll see what we can do. I just hope John listened to me and won’t serve shark this year. As endangered as they are, I’m sure he’s getting it by less than legal means.” Lucretia said.

Gaia stopped herself in mid eye-roll. “If he doesn’t, you’ll make sure to tell him again, sweetheart.”

“I certainly will.” Lucretia declared.

Gaia passed a tiny exasperated look at Agron who smiled. She then tilted her head towards Nasir’s door. “Check on him and call us if you need anything.” She said quietly.

“I plan on it.” Agron replied.

“Let’s be off,” said Lucretia. She waved goodbye to Agron and she Gaia descended the stairs. Barca lingered, gazing at Agron who was now leaning on the top railing and staring at the door to Nasir’s room.

“See you later, Agron.”

“Uh huh,” Agron answered. His eyes never left the door.

While Gaia and Barca made their way down to the garage, Lucretia went to the balcony doors and opened them. She saw Saxa and Belesa sitting at the table holding hands and looking at each other intensely. She hated to interrupt them but she knew she wouldn’t have felt right taking off without checking to see how things were progressing.

They both looked up when they heard the door slide, “Gaia, Barca and I are leaving now. I just wanted check with you two before we did. You guys okay?”

Belesa averted her eyes when Saxa said, “We are.”

“All right. See you later tonight.” Lucretia closed the balcony door and went to join the others.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The knob turned in his hands. _It’s not locked. That’s a good sign_ , he thought. He poked his head in the door and saw Nasir lying on the bed on his back watching him. He had showered and his still damp hair fanned his pillow.

“Just peeking in to see how you were. You can tell me to scram if you want.” Agron said.

“No, you can come in.”

Agron entered the room and sat on the edge of the bed. “Can I get you something? You haven’t eaten all day have you?”

“No. I’m not hungry.”

Agron shifted his seat and brought his leg up under him. “Consider this a stupid question if you must but I’m going to ask it anyway, how are you feeling?”

Nasir blew out a breath. It was a simple enough question but he couldn’t answer it right away. For the past few hours his thoughts were fragmented, tinged with anger and deep hurt.

“Horrible,” he finally said. He blinked rapidly and shuddered. “This morning, I woke up thinking that I was going to get myself together, sit him down (he couldn’t quite get Castus’ name to leave his lips) and finally try to resolve our problems. As mad as I was, till the very last minute, I thought he was worth that much. Then the phone…” He couldn’t finish.

“For what it’s worth, I’m sorry you’re having to go through this.” Agron said softly.

Nasir waved his hand. “It’s no one’s fault but my own. I should have seen it sooner. I don’t know why I continued to second guess myself. I should have trusted my instincts. As to why he did what he did, well I have been pretty tough to deal with the past year. So I certainly can’t say I’m blameless.”

Agron shook his head, “No.” He put his hand on Nasir’s to stop him from interrupting. “No one’s perfect when it comes to relationships. We all have our own various bags of shit we bring into them. But I know you Nasir, and there’s nothing you could have done that was so terrible to deserve this.”

Nasir didn’t reply and Agron knew he didn’t believe him.

“Do something for me,” Agron said.

“What?”

“There will be enough time once you get back home to get into all the ‘whys’ and ‘hows’ and ‘what the fucks’. But for now, just concentrate on the fact that you did the right thing today, including the punch.”

Nasir brought his hand up to his eyes and squeezed the tears away. Agron reached out took a strand of hair out of his face. Whenever Castus would do that, it was usually a sign of placation and he hated it. But with Agron it was different. There was so much care and gentleness in that simple gesture. He was grateful.

Agron took his hand away and gave a wry grin. He had always wanted to do that, but in retrospect he would have chosen better circumstances. “Look at it this way,” he said. “At least you never moved in with him.”

“Thank the Gods for a brief moment of sanity.” Nasir gibed.

“So you don’t have to worry about any post breakup awkwardness, like where do I sleep?”

“Oh yeah.” Nasir blinks became slower. He was tiring quickly. He hoped that the next attempt at sleep would be successful.

Agron stood up. “Get some sleep. You can barely keep your eyes open. My plan to bore you to death worked.”

Nasir grabbed Agron’s hand. “You didn’t bore me. You helped me more than you realize.” Agron squeezed Nasir’s hand back and held on to it a little longer than he should have.

“I’ll wake you up in a while to eat.”

“Thanks.”

“What time is your flight tomorrow?”

“I cancelled it. I’m renting a car and driving back.”

Agron looked dumbfounded. “It’s so expensive to fly here. They aren’t going to refund your money.”

“I know, but I didn’t buy the ticket in the first place.”

Agron started to laugh.

“And if I’m not mistaken, there’s a pretty big cancellation fee as well.” Nasir smiled a little.

“Not bad, Nasir. Not bad at all.”

“Like I said, crazy maybe but I’m not stupid.”

“Cancel the car reservation too. You’re riding back with us tomorrow.”

“Agron-“Nasir was touched.

“It’s already been decided. Go to sleep.” He walked out and closed the door.

It took Nasir a minute to digest everything that was said and wasn’t said. He was too tired to do his usual hyper analyzation of matters. He turned to his side and closed his eyes. Sleep came quickly and he did not dream.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Belesa was agitated and it showed. She tapped her foot, rubbed her arms and continually pulled at her hair. She felt like she and Saxa were talking in circles. Saxa kept bringing up stuff like rehab and outpatient treatment and she kept saying no. She wasn’t some wine soaked crack whore and it would be a waste of time to spend ninety days in some faraway place sleeping in a bunk bed.

Saxa observed her girlfriend slowly becoming undone in front her. She tried to stay firm but she was losing the battle of wills. Belesa at least admitted that she did more than drink (although she couldn’t believe she blurted that out to Barca), but she was steadfast in her assertion that she was not addicted to anything. All she needed to do was go in once or twice a week to see a counselor. Saxa was astounded by the extent of her denial. According to Belesa, everything she did was brought on by her mother’s condition. Stopping the drinking and the drugging was just a matter of willpower. People quit cold turkey all the time she had reasoned. Saxa wanted to scream.

“I need to go to the bathroom.” Belesa stood up.

“Wait,” Saxa said. It was all coming together for her now. “Stay here for a minute until I come back.”

“I gotta pee.” Belesa cried.

“Wait.” Saxa commanded. She left the balcony and rushed up the stairs to their room. She scanned the place and spotted Belesa’s make-up bag. She didn’t find what she was looking for there. She saw Belesa’s purse which was a cavernous bag of brown leather. She dumped the contents on the bed and sorted through it. Still nothing to be found. She stuck her hand inside the bag and felt around. Tucked securely in a side pocket was a pill bottle. She had never thought to search the purse before, but it was if the pieces were finally fitting together for her. She took the bottle and Belesa’s phone and left the room again.

By the time Saxa came back, Belesa was in a snit. “Do have I have permission to piss now?”

“Go ahead. That is, if you don’t need to do anything else.” Saxa said.

“Meaning?” Belesa sneered.

Saxa held up the bottle.

Belesa’s eyes grew wide. “You went through my purse. You had no business doing that.” She was livid.

“What are these exactly?” She looked closely at the bottle. There was no label.

Belesa crossed her arms and rocked back and forth. She no longer wanted to be a part of this conversation and didn’t reply.

“Answer me.”

“Nothing!” Belesa shouted. “Some stuff I got from a friend.”

“Okay then. Since they are nothing-”

“Which they are!”

“I can just dump these in the trash. No biggie, right?”

They were at a final standoff. Belesa continued to rock back and forth. Saxa stood still, holding the bottle like a totem. “So that’s a yes? I’ll throw them out now.” She headed for the balcony door.

Belesa called out, “Stop.” Just as Saxa had anticipated.

Saxa walked up to Belesa, her own anger brewing over. “I’m sick of this shit. You’ve got two seconds to make up your mind. It’s either these,” Saxa shoved to bottle into Belesa’s face. “Or me. Choose.”

Belesa’s lip began to tremble. It had all come down to Saxa vowing to leave her, the one thing she feared above everything else. “Saxa, please don’t say that.”

“Choose!”

Belsa’s covered he face with her hands and sobbed, but Saxa held steadfast. Her face was a cold mask of disdain.

‘You.” Belesa said through gasps.

Saxa went to the balcony railing and hurled the bottle over it. She forced Belesa’s phone into her hand. “Take this number,” as he pulled out the slip of paper from her jacket pocket.

“I-“

“Put it in your phone Belesa.” Saxa said forcefully.

Belesa took the paper and sat down at the table. She programmed the number into her phone. Afterwards, she tossed it on the table and once again hid her face in her hands.

“When you call him, tell him that you are a friend of Lucretia’s and that you need help with getting into rehab.”

“Because I’m a lying junkie,” Belesa trembled.

“Enough. I love you and I want you healthy and whole. Why don’t you want that for yourself?” Saxa went to Belesa and lifted her chin up to face her. “Do this, please. I’ll be there with you but you have to do it.”

Belesa nodded through her tears. She took Saxa’s hand in her own and kissed it.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Barca, Gaia and Lucretia were able to find a nice table near the edge of the patio despite their late arrival. She was greeted enthusiastically by the hosts, but found she to offer up a lame excuse of food poisoning to explain why she wasn’t accompanied by her usual large group. Regardless, she was promised a good time and an interesting show.

She certainly thought she was as a gorgeous belly dancer performed a full back bend in front of her never losing her rhythm. She was briefly mesmerized by the tanned breasts shaking in front of her. Gaia was as well and wondered if she ought to have given a tip for that nice bit of show. The belly dancer finished off her number with a frenzied circling of her hips to wild applause.

“John and Renata may have outdone themselves this year.” Lucretia told Gaia as she clapped.

“I think so, and they skipped the shark meat. That should make you happy too.” Gaia said. Lucretia was pleased about that, but she had picked at her gator steak rather gingerly even after Barca had told her it tasted like chicken.

She looked at her longtime friend wistfully as he smiled and joked with the people at the neighboring table. She didn’t want to think about Barca moving away. His next statement didn’t improve things.

“I’m going to miss this.” He said.

“You’re really just going to pack up and take off to Hawaii?” Lucretia asked

“That’s the current plan.”

“I’m still dealing with the fact that you and Agron are over. You are over, right?” Gaia said.

Barca gave a thin smile. “Yes, we’re over. We didn’t see the need to send out announcements after our talk. Hope you understand.”

Lucretia stiffened, “I hope you can understand our confusion over all of these sudden decisions.”

“I didn’t mean to be flippant. Believe me, our break up was a long time coming. We just grew apart but didn’t know how to let go. After all of these weeks of being afraid to act, when the opportunity finally came it was pretty easy. As for leaving L.A., I had been thinking about doing that for quite a while too.” Barca said.

“I had no idea.” Lucretia said with a look of displeasure.

Barca toyed with his plate, not meeting Lucretia’s stare. He felt horrible about not sharing all of this with someone he considered a close friend. He knew what his selfishness had cost and it didn’t feel good. “I haven’t been such a good friend over the past few months and I’m truly sorry for that.”

Lucretia touched his hand, “Apology accepted. I just want you to be happy, that’s all.” She stressed.

“We both do. You’re a great guy, Barca.” Gaia added.

“I will be happy, at least after this weekend is over.” Barca said.

Gaia and Lucretia chuckled. “Oh my God,” Gaia drawled. “I can’t even begin to understand the hell that this weekend has become. It’s like watching one train wreck right after another.”

“I wonder was it some kind of karmatic shift in the universe that called everyone to converge to break up at the same damn time.” Lucretia said.

Barca shrugged in surrender, “Guilty as charged. At least no punches were thrown from my end.”

Lucretia rolled her eyes, “I am so shocked at Nasir. I have never seen him like that.”

“Me neither,” Barca said.

“People should be able to solve their problems without violence.” Lucretia continued.

“In an ideal world, yes.” Gaia countered.

“You thought what he did was okay?” Lucretia asked, surprised.

“Would I have preferred that it hadn’t happened in the middle of our kitchen? Yes. The rational response would have just been to end things and walk away. But when it comes to relationships, sometimes rationality is tossed and a good right hook is needed to set things right.” Gaia said.

“I’m sorry, I would never allow myself to lose completely lose control and hit someone.” Lucretia scoffed.

“I couldn’t see myself doing so either. But with that kind of deception, I can perfectly understand why Nasir did.” Gaia concluded and sipped her drink as she always did when she thought she had said something profound.

Lucretia turned to Barca, “So were you fine with it?”

“Hey, I’m always on the side of peace and love. But I’m with Gaia, sometimes being in a relationship can make you do things that are against your usual nature.” Barca replied.

“You’ve never hit Agron.”

“No. But I’ve thought about it and more than once.” Barca chuckled.

Gaia laughed when Lucretia huffed, “Honestly!”

“When I see you two though, it shows me just how beautiful a healthy, loving relationship can be. Maybe I’ll get it right next time.” Barca said.

Lucretia put her hand to her heart. “Thank you, my friend. I have every confidence that it will happen for you.”

“Knock on wood. I’m going to give myself some time to work on some things though. If I do find someone else, perhaps then I’ll know how hold on to what I have.” Barca said.

Gaia raised her glass, “Let’s toast to love, friendships and all that fucking positive stuff!”

Lucretia and Barca raised their glasses and called out, “Here, here!”

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

They were the most peaceful hours Agron had experienced since arriving at Lake Tahoe. After having a luxurious soak in the hot tub to undo the belligerent knot in his back, he popped a huge bowl of popcorn and settled on the couch in the entertainment room to watch the samurai movie he brought. He fell asleep just as the samurais were facing off against the imperial army and had one the best naps he could ever recall.

He stirred as he felt a gentle shake on his shoulder. He thought it was all part of his dream. There was another shake. He blinked and saw Nasir standing over him, his hair still loose and draping over his shoulders with a bemused expression.  “You were supposed to wake me up remember?” Nasir said. Nasir had stood watching Agron for several minutes. He had never seen Agron asleep before and he was content to just watch before awakening him. He enjoyed seeing him look so peaceful.

Agron sat up and rubbed his eyes. “Sorry, I nodded off. What time is it?

“Six and I’m starving.”

“I slept that long? Wow.”

“C’mon, I’ve started the sides, I’ll leave you to deal with the salmon.”

“Oh wonderful,” Agron kicked his feet off the couch and prepared to test his back.

“No problem. I recognize your talent with fish dishes. There’s no reason to let it be wasted.”

They went up the stairs together and Agron looked around. “Have you seen Bee and Saxa?”

“They’re on the balcony,” Nasir said quietly.

Agron opened the doors and looked out. Saxa and Belesa were sitting in the same lounge chair. Belesa’s head was on Saxa’s shoulder. Agron cleared his throat and Saxa looked at him.

“Hate to disturb you but Nasir and I are fixing dinner. I wanted to know if you two wanted to join us.”

Saxa kissed the top of Belesa’s head, “Sounds good. I could eat. How about you?”

Belesa raised her head and shrugged.

“You haven’t had anything all day.” Saxa said.

Belesa nodded and said, “Sure. Okay.”

She and Saxa stood up and followed Agron back into the kitchen. “Need some help?” Saxa offered.

“Aw no. We’re good. You two relax, we’ll get it together.” Agron said.

“It’s no problem. I feel stiff. I need to move around.” Saxa answered.

Agron saw no point in arguing with her. It had been a tough day for her as well. “Alright. You can fix the salad. Oh, but we’re out of tomatoes.”

Nasir was at the stove tossing a pinch of sea salt into the pot of boiling corn cobs. He turned and offered the women a small smile. _They look how I feel_ he thought. Saxa walked over to him and gave him kiss on the cheek. She rubbed his arm and said, “Glad to see you up and about.”

“Yeah, I actually feel slightly better after that nap.” He said.

“What do you need help with?” Belesa asked. “I think I need to make up for the breakfast that never was.”

Agron made a beeline to the refrigerator to get the salad fixings for Saxa and willed himself to stay quiet.

Saxa said, “You can make the dressing.” She gathered some lemon juice, olive oil and cracked pepper and placed them on the island.

Belesa stared at them and then looked at Saxa, “Now what?”

Agron snickered and grabbed the last two bottles of his beer. He handed one to Nasir. “I figured you needed one of these.”

“Thanks, it’s amazing that my suffering compelled you to share your precious beer.”

“What can I say? I’m a giant among men.” Agron smiled.

“Sch-neider Weisse,” Nasir struggled with the pronunciation.

“It’s the best. Bold and spicy. Like me.”

Nasir popped off the cap and took a pull. He swallowed and grimaced.

“Good huh?” Agron asked.

Nasir swallowed several more times to try to cleanse his palate of the horrible taste that had assaulted it. “Uh…”

“Well?”

“I’m not much of a beer drinker. Michelob is as far as I’ve gone.”

“What? You mean that isn’t the best beer you’ve ever tasted?”

Nasir shifted his eyes. “No. It’s kinda the worst.”

Saxa and Belesa sniggered as Agron gasped.  He snatched the bottle from Nasir’s fingers and gave him a playful snarl.

“Sorry. I appreciate the gesture though.”

“Yeah, yeah yeah.”

“I do.” He patted Agron on the back. Agron’s felt a tiny flip in his stomach at the touch. _Where the hell did that come from?_

They became quiet as they worked to put together the meal. Agron and Nasir working in synch at the stove while Belesa and Saxa teamed up perfectly at the island. They each relished the quiet peace as the earlier tension ebbed away.

As the late evening sun hung heavy over the dining table on the balcony, Nasir put his fork down and surveyed his empty plate. He was taken aback at not only the speed of which he emptied it but also at the resiliency of his stomach to keep anything down. He figured that he would have been spending the rest of the evening either puking or curled into a fetal position in his room plotting a double murder. He thanked the Gods for Agron, dill sauce and Pinot Grigio.

Agron put his beer down and asked if anyone wanted seconds. They all refused. The dinner was light but filling. They each sipped their various drinks (Saxa stuck to water with lemon out of respect for Belesa), lost in their thoughts.

“This has been some weekend.” Saxa said abruptly.

“Your talent for pointing out the obvious never ceases to underwhelm.” Agron quipped. Belesa quirked her lip.

“I’m being serious.” Saxa said.

“I know. It’s odd, I was so looking forward to getting out of L.A. so I could get some peace and quiet but…” He didn’t finish. He didn’t have to.

Nasir lowered his head, “I’m sorry you all had to see that this morning. It was not my intention to completely lose my shit like that.”

“I guess I need to apologize for starting the party off wrong that first night.” Belesa said. Nasir took her hand and held it. “But we’ll be okay though. We’ll all get through this.” Belesa took Saxa’s hand and they shared a loving look. Nasir placed his empty hand the table near Agron. Agron took it and smiled. Instead of completing the hand holding circle, Saxa and Agron poked each other. Some things never seemed to change.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The sparks from the fireworks coming off the lake drenched the trees in numerous hues of blue, red and white. The four people watching from the balcony took in the spectacle with all the appropriate “oohs and ahhs.” Saxa and Belesa were arm in arm. Nasir and Agron standing side by side. None of them could ignore the analogous nature of watching more explosions, though.

Gaia, Lucretia and Barca arrived shortly after the fireworks show ended. Barca remembered to bring back a plate of boar ribs. Agron was delighted to receive a midnight snack, but his joy was subverted once Saxa and Nasir swooped in and took a rib of their own. Agron didn’t try to resist. Saxa had laid out men twice her size and Nasir’s right cross was nothing to sneeze at.

“It’s great you all had a good time his evening. We were worried.” Lucretia said.

“It’s our last night. We had to make something good come out of this weekend.” Agron said.

“Well said, “Barca responded.

Nasir wiped his mouth after finishing his boar rib. “I think I’m going to turn in. It’s been a long, eventful day. What time are we heading out?”

“I want us on the road by six.”

Barca, Belesa and Saxa all chimed in:

“That’s way too early.”

“It needs to be later.”

“Are you nuts?”

“Look, if we leave at six we’ll get to L.A. by noon.” Agron argued.

“That’s with you driving like a madman. In fact, I think I should drive part of the way.” Saxa said.

“Trust you with my car? Who’s the nut now?” Agron looked shocked.

“Excuse me, but I haven’t been in three accidents in the past year.” Saxa countered.

“Loud, strong and wrong. They were minor fender benders and no other cars were involved.”

“All the more reason for me to drive seeing that you’re able to make a mess of things with no help whatsoever.” Saxa said.

“No fucking way.”

“Let’s take a vote. All in favor of me driving halfway, raise your hands. You’ll get bathroom breaks with me.” Saxa called out.

Belesa, Barca, Saxa, Nasir, Lucretia and Gaia raised their hands.

“Wait a minute!” Agron yelled. “How are you going to vote on who gets to drive my car?” He pointed and Lucretia and Gaia, “And you two aren’t even going!”

Saxa clapped him on the shoulder, “The people have spoken. I’m driving and we’ll leave at 7:30.”

“What?” Agron was outdone.

“I’ll even whip up some extra energy juice so that we can have it on the road.” Saxa said delighted.

Nasir, Belesa and Barca all shook their heads. “Ixnay on the juice-ay, babe.” Belesa said.

“Aw c’mon!” Saxa cried.

Nasir got up and made his way to Lucretia and Gaia as Saxa and Agron continued to bicker. “First of all,” he started “I want to thank you two for inviting me up again this year. Secondly,” he sighed. “I want to apologize for that scene in the kitchen. No matter what the circumstances were, I had no right to disrespect your home that way. I’m so sorry.”

Gaia grabbed him and drew him into a big hug. “Darling, it is fine. We know how hurt you were. All’s forgiven.” She hugged him tighter and kissed his temple. He was on the verge of crying again and tried to break the hug, but Gaia held on.

“Are you going to let me go before sun up?” Nasir asked.

“No. You’re adorable and I love you.”

Nasir laughed and Gaia finally let him go. Lucretia stepped forward and kissed him. “I can’t say that I wasn’t disappointed.” She said.

“I know.”

“But you’ll be able to make it up to me next year by letting me win the poker game and doing whatever humiliating thing I ask you to do.” She smiled wickedly.

Nasir chortled in surprise, “I have to throw the game?”

“Yes, that’s the only way.”

“Deal.”

“Good.” She hugged him. “I love you.”

“I love you too, pretty lady.” He let her go and turned to the others. “Goodnight everyone.”

They all wished him goodnight. Before he left the balcony, He touched Agron on the shoulder and mouthed, “Thank you.”

“Anytime.” Agron replied.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was well after midnight when Belesa awoke trembling and sweating. Tiny pinpricks ran up and down her arms and she felt sick. The last thing she wanted to do was start going through withdrawals. She looked over to Saxa and saw that she was in a deep sleep. She crept quietly out of the bed and tip toed to the closet. Inch by inch, she slowly pulled out her small roller bag and opened the top compartment. Inside was a plastic baggie with pills of different colors and sizes. She took it out, closed the compartment and stuck the bag back into the closet. She then slipped out of the room.

The fluorescent light set her face in harsh relief. She looked like hell and she knew wouldn’t be able to go back to sleep without taking something. She remembered what she had promised, but Saxa didn’t understand. She had been taking prescription drugs since she was fourteen (a fact she did not divulge to her girlfriend). Her first forays began with her sneaking one or two valium pills from her mother. In high school, she learned from her schoolmates how to scam her way into getting a prescription for Adderall. As an adult, she would take breaks from time to time but she really never stopped. She never knew how.

She held up the bag. The dealer called the packet, “the cocktail mix”. It contained Vicodin, Adderall, Oxycontin and MDMA. She chose the Vicodin and swallowed it quickly. She scooped up a handful of water from the faucet and looked in the mirror again, hating herself.


	5. Day Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The others head back to Los Angeles as Lucretia and Gaia stay behind. For some, things have finished. For others, things have just begun. Kick back and listen to "King of Sorrow" with Nasir as you read.
> 
> “What kind of new age fuckshit is that?” .....Oh, Agron.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Arohamai means "take care" in Maori.

Day Four

He was facing an incoming throng of people. Their faces were indistinct for the most part and he did not recognize any of them. Their bodies brushed against him roughly as they passed. He was searching the crowd in hopes of finding someone but he wasn’t sure if they were there. As another body roughly passed him and another, his anxiety grew. Would they appear? Or was he fated to stand there alone? He then sensed someone coming to his side and heard his name. He turned and saw Castus standing beside him but he wasn’t looking at his face. Instead, Castus’ eyes were fixed upon a distant figure. He followed the gaze and then started walking towards it. It was…

Nasir’s eyes flew open. He blinked hard in order to adjust his eyes to light spilling in from the window. He tried to remember his dream, but the images were fading quickly. _Who was that man in the crowd he was looking for_? The mystery began to nag at him. _What was all that supposed to mean?_ He closed his eyes and made a silly attempt to rewind the dream but he was interrupted by a sharp rap at his door and a shout.

“You’ve had enough beauty sleep. Time to get up and go!”

It was Agron.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

By 7:15, all the bags were packed and lugged down to the garage. Beds were stripped and towels were folded. The last bit of breakfast was eaten and the last drop of energy juice was drunk (by Saxa only). While Agron and Barca were the loading the luggage in the back of Agron’s SUV, Belesa, Saxa and Nasir came down the stairs into the garage with the last remnants of their things.

“See if you can squeeze this tote in the back.” Saxa said.

“You can barely see the rear window as it is!” Agron argued.

“Well I can’t drive with it between my knees, can I?” Saxa asked.

“About that-“

“We voted and it’s decided.” Saxa broke in. “I drive to the halfway point and then you take over.”

Agron began to grumble about the how the position of his seat and rearview mirrors were going to be compromised when Lucretia and Gaia descended to give their last goodbyes.

Lucretia hugged Barca first. “Call us when you get to L.A. and,” she poked him in the chest. “Be prepared for lunch at least once a week before you leave.”

“And once you leave, we want full reports: emails, pictures and phone calls.” Gaia added as she got a hug in. “You’re not to be a stranger again and drop out of sight. That’s an order.”

Barca smiled, “I promise.”

Saxa embraced Lucretia and kissed her on the cheek. “Thank you for everything.”

Lucretia said, “I wish I could do more.”

“I wouldn’t have been able to talk to Belesa without you…and Barca.” Saxa said.

Lucretia rubbed Saxa’s shoulders, “It’s not going to be easy. It’s probably going to be the hardest thing you’ve ever faced. She’s afraid and so are you.”

“That I know.” Saxa said sullenly.

“So knowing that, don’t be too proud to ask for help Saxa. Everyone here is willing to do whatever they can for you, believe that.”

“I do.” Saxa gave Lucretia another hug. She turned to Gaia who already had her arms open.

Agron smiled at Lucretia and said, “A weekend full of fisticuffs and break ups. Bet you want to relive it all over again.”

“Not in this fucking lifetime,” Lucretia laughed and wrapped her arms around him. “Drive safe and I’m telling you the same thing I told Barca; don’t be a stranger. Everything is a lot less interesting without you around, big fella.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it.” Agron said. He kissed Lucretia on the top of her head and let go.

“My turn?” Nasir asked her.

“And you,” Lucretia began. “Take care of yourself and fight with everything you have to get the love and respect that you deserve.” Nasir nodded. “I meant that figuratively of course.” She added.

Nasir laughed. “I hear you. I don’t have bail money anyway.”

She smiled as he hugged and kissed her on the cheek. “I’ll talk to you soon.” He told her.

Gaia was with Belesa who looked on the verge of tears. She was at a loss for words as Gaia shook her head and gathered her in an embrace. Lucretia joined in along with Barca, Nasir, Saxa and eventually Agron.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” he bellowed in the midst of the group hug after a few moments. “We gotta get going before the neighbors think we’re giving them a show.”

“Okay. Have a good trip you all. Thanks for coming.” Gaia said.

“Thanks for having us, all events aside.” Bara said.

They climbed in the SUV as Gaia and Lucretia watched from the garage door. Saxa immediately began adjusting the seats and rearview mirrors much to Agron’s chagrin.

“I’m never going to get them back the way they were.” He complained.

“Will you stop bitching and set up the route on the GPS?” Saxa said as she started up the engine.

Lucretia and Gaia waved as Saxa honked and the others called out their goodbyes.

As they hit the main road Agron said, “Make sure you watch out for the road that leads to the freeway because it forks.”

“I know!” Saxa huffed. “How many times have we been up here?”

“And step on it. You drive slower than my Nana in Brisbane.” Agron ordered.

“I’m going as fast as possible since this car is as old as your Nana.” Saxa shot back.

“Don’t insult Patty Passport. No one insults Patty Passport!”

“Oh my God.” Nasir said to Barca. “Are we going to have to suffer through this the entire trip?”

“Looks that way. I’ve just learned to tune it out.” He answered and settled down further into his seat and closed his eyes.

He turned to Belesa who put in some earphones and shuffled through her iPod.

“We’ll probably get to L.A. by Thursday, folks.” Agron said.

“I swear Agron, one more word and I’m pushing you out that door!” Saxa shouted.

Nasir rolled his eyes and leaned back. _Fuck the Gods._

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Walking up the trail, Lucretia felt like she was twelve years old again. Unencumbered with her usual every day concerns, she felt happy and free as she walked hand in hand with Gaia. Just the way she did so many years ago with her mother. As much as she enjoyed entertaining her friends, she loved quiet moments like these even more.

Gaia seemed to understand, as she walked silently beside her. The weekend’s events weighted heavily on her and she was also glad to for the respite. She always knew that she and Lucretia were fortunate in the fact that they had managed to stay together for so long. After witnessing what their friends went through, she appreciated her relationship all the more.

Lucretia let go of Gaia’s hand long enough to pluck a late summer flower from a group of blossoms that lined the trail. She tucked it behind her ear gave a goofy smile. Gaia took out her phone and snapped a picture, laughing. After getting a good giggle, they recommenced their walk.

“I wish we could stay another week here.” Lucretia said wistfully. As they always did, the lovers spent the entire first week of September at the house.

“Me too.” Gaia said. “Walking in the woods, diving in the lake and making love with you. I hope none of that ever changes.”

“Change can be good.” Lucretia countered.

“And it can be very bad.”

“Gaia. Would having a child in our lives be so horrible?” Lucretia asked.

Gaia frowned. “I thought we were going to revisit this topic later.”

“I know what I said, but I’d like to know how you feel now. Otherwise, the next few weeks won’t matter.” Lucretia said.

“I’ve never had a longing for a child so I can’t understand. I’m sorry to say that. And I’m afraid that this need you have means that you aren’t happy with your life and what we have.” Gaia said sadly.

Lucretia shook her head and grabbed Gaia’s other hand. She held them both close to her chest. “Please don’t think that. I love you and the life we have together. Having a child doesn’t negate that. It’s exactly why I want to have a baby, with you.”

Gaia held on to Lucretia’s hands. “If it can’t happen, then what?”

Lucretia paused and considered that very real possibility. “Then we’ll have to move on…”

Gaia kissed Lucretia’s forehead. She said, “I hope we can.” Seeing Lucretia’s reaction to what she said, she added. “I’ve haven’t been living in the dark. I know what you want. I just don’t to want our relationship to be damaged because it may not happen.”

Lucretia didn’t answer but gathered Gaia in her arms. She wished that she could reassure Gaia that all would be well regardless of the chances, but she had no answers.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Saxa pulled into a Shell station right outside Fresno and shook Agron awake. She was loathed to do as the drive had gone very smoothly once he drifted off. She turned off the engine which seemed to rouse the others as well. They climbed out of the SUV to stretch their legs and visit the restrooms.

Barca volunteered to fill up the tank and Nasir dug his phone out of the pocket of jacket. He had to turn it off shortly after they left Lake Tahoe due to the constant ringing. He knew of only one person that desperate to get in touch with him: Castus. He walked towards the air filling station and checked the damage. Three missed calls and fifteen messages.  He didn’t want to access his voicemail, the thought of hearing Castus’ voice made the heat rise in his face. He tapped the message icon with dread.

**“Since you don’t want to answer the phone, I guess I’ll have to text you until you answer me.”**

_Not bloody likely_ , Nasir thought.

**“Yesterday was bad. I’m sorry I hurt you.”**

“No sorry enough.” Nasir said to his phone.

“ **That thing with Tib wasn’t anything. I never told him I loved him or nothing like that, babe. You were pushing me away. I thought I needed someone else to deal w/ the pain.”**

“This is bullshit.” Nasir said again. Just like he figured, Castus was trying to make it seem like his decision to cheat was all Nasir’s fault.

“ **I want to be w/ you. I love you. I know I messed up. We can work it out. We just need to talk. Promise me that we can just sit down and talk.”**

He didn’t want to read anymore and put his phone down. He settled his gaze on the passing cars speeding past on the freeway. Thousands of options ran through his mind and none of them were appealing. He knew his resolve was weakening as the seconds ticked by. _Why was he always able to do this?_ Nasir thought irritably. _He thinks he can just talk himself out of any kind of trouble._ Nasir started to type:

**“Stop by Thurs. 6:30 PM to pick up the rest of your stuff from my apt. It will be in the hallway. DO NOT call me. DO NOT knock on my door.”**

He pressed “send” and turned his phone back off. He took a deep breath and wished for nothing more than a cigarette. He was tempted to enter the store and buy a pack but then he remembered, he quit those too.

He saw Saxa and Belesa heading towards the car and walked back to join them. He came upon Barca and Agron having a lively discussion about lunch. Barca said he was starving and thought they should sit down for a meal. Saxa and Belesa were in agreement. But Agron ever the contrarian, said no.

“We’re already behind schedule!” He cried.

“What are you in such a rush to get back to anyway? Another nap?” Saxa jeered.

“I want to avoid the incoming Labor Day traffic if possible. We’re already going to be stuck on the freeway for at least an hour.” Agron said.

“And you’ll be with me and my empty stomach in bumper to bumper traffic. You want to risk that?” Saxa asked.

Agron looked uneasy. There were very few things Agron was not afraid to face head on, a hungry Saxa wasn’t one of them. He grunted in frustration. “Fine. There’s a ‘Chili’s’ at the next exit.”

“Good choice.” Saxa smiled.

Agron smiled back and said, “Oh, I hate you so much sometimes.”

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

He had changed his mind by the time the plate of southwest eggrolls had landed in front of him. He didn’t realize how hungry he was until he stuffed a whole one in his mouth. Stopping for lunch was a very good idea but he decided he wasn’t going to let Saxa know. He observed Nasir across from him quietly picking at his food. He noticed that his friend hadn’t said a word since they left the gas station. He tapped the other man’s foot with his own.

Nasir looked up. It was obvious his mind was not on the plate sitting in front of him. “What’s wrong?” He asked.

“I was about to ask you. You’re drifting away from here.” Agron answered.

“Would you believe it was because I’m totally enthralled with these tortilla chips in my salad?” Nasir asked.

“Nope.”

Nasir put down his fork. The truth was, he was far from hungry. “I was foolish enough to check my messages.”

“I take it they were pretty awful.”

“No, they were just expected. A whole lot of, ‘please baby please. I’m so sorry.’ As if that would ever be enough.”

“Thank the Gods for the delete button at least.”

“Yeah but he wants to see me so that we can talk.”

Agron paused. He was slightly worried at the contemplative expression on Nasir’s face. _Was he actually thinking about taking that asshole back?_ He wondered.

“Are you going to?” Agron asked slowly. He was halfway dreading the answer.

Nasir looked directly him. “No. I only sent one message back telling him to pick his stuff outside my door.” Agron kept his face neutral, but inwardly cheered like a madman.

“I don’t want him to think that I’m one of these club owners he talks to and can win over with a grin and a pound.” Nasir began an eerily accurate imitation of his ex, “Hey baby, I’m sorry. I wasn’t getting any from you so I creeped. No big thing. You’ll take me back, right? You need me in your life!” He finished speaking and rolled his eyes.

Agron smiled.

“Been there, done that and got the lash marks to prove it. Being a masochist is no longer in season for me. I just want a clean break.” Nasir continued.

“Don’t you at least want an apology in person? You deserve that much.” Saxa asked.

“I suppose, but I know it wouldn’t be a sincere one. He’s not sorry he did it-that’s the most painful part. He’s sorry he got caught. And I’ve had my fill of rationalizations, explanations and blame. It’s not worth it to me anymore. I gotta start chasing my peace.” Nasir said.

“What kind of new age fuckshit is that?” Agron asked.

“Something I heard from someone.” Nasir answered. Barca winked.

“I understand. It is all about honesty.” Saxa said. She looked at Belesa, but she never looked up from her phone.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

By mid-afternoon they finally arrived in Los Angeles due to Agron’s clever avoidance of traffic and the overuse of his car horn. They dropped Saxa and Belesa off first at Saxa’s apartment. They both thought it best that Belesa stay with Saxa for the next couple of days to map out her recovery plan.

As Belesa said goodbye to Barca and Nasir, Agron helped Saxa take out their bags from the back of the SUV. He handed her the tote bag they had argued about earlier and said, “Make sure you keep in touch with Lucretia.”

“I will,” Saxa said.

“And call me if you need anything. No matter what time it is or what I’m doing.” He touched her hair gently.

For the first time, Saxa allowed the tears to come. She dropped the tote and threw herself into Agron’s arms. “Thank you.” She choked out.

“You know I love you sometimes too, Blondie.”

“Same here.” They broke apart and she wiped away the freshly spent tears hastily. She didn’t want Belesa to see them.

“Take care of yourself.” Agron said.

“You too.”

They walked around the SUV and Saxa hugged Barca and Nasir. They wished her well as she joined a waiting Belesa by the door of the apartment. Agron waved at Belesa. She smiled and waved back.

“I’m worried about them.” Barca said.

Agron didn’t respond. He was worried as well. He went to the driver’s side and got in. 

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The next stop was Nasir’s apartment off Venice Boulevard. He hopped out on the curb and did a quick scan of the cars parked along the street. He was on the lookout for Castus’ black BMW. He didn’t want to think that Castus would be foolish enough to show up at his place, but his message had been rather rough.

“What are you looking at?” Agron asked.

“Nothing, I was just-“Nasir responded.

“You think he’s going to show up?”

“It wouldn’t make sense for him to but…”

“He has keys to your place doesn’t he?”

Nasir nodded. Agron closed the back door and said, “I’ll walk in with you.”

“What are you, my bodyguard now? You don’t have to do that. I can handle Castus.”

“Yes, your fist said as much. I just want to prevent another fight if need be.” Agron answered.

“And you showing up with me wouldn’t make the situation worse? Hate to tell you, but you’ve never been one of Castus’ favorite people.” Nasir said.

“Me? How could I possibly make any situation worse?” Agron asked innocently.

Nasir scoffed, scooped up his bag and turned to Barca who was still sitting in the passenger seat. “Hey you.”

“Hey. Been some weekend.”

Nasir smirked. “Thanks for the talk. Actually, thanks for everything. You’ve been a great mentor. Make sure you call me before you leave for Hawaii, okay?”

“Of course.” Barca reached out his hand and Nasir took it. “ _Arohamai_.”*

“You too, brother.”

He let go and started towards the entrance gate to his building with Agron in tow. “Where are you going?” Barca called out to Agron.

“Just going to see if Nasir has any uninvited guests.” Agron answered.

Barca caught on and nodded. “I’ll keep lookout here.”

Nasir unlocked the door and opened it slowly. He walked in and looked around. Nothing seemed to be disturbed. He put his bag down and went to the bathroom in the hallway. Next, he checked his bedroom. Once he came back into the hallway he started to feel silly about his earlier trepidation. Castus was a lot of things, but a stalker wasn’t one of them. “Nothing, as I figured.”

“Never hurts to be sure.” Agron said finishing up his own scan near a rubber tree plant.

“I can assure you he’s not hiding in the pot.” Nasir said.

“Fine, fine.” Agron said as he peeked out the balcony window. “I’ll be off then since my services have been so brusquely dismissed.” He chided.

“Thanks again,” Nasir said.

“Stop it. You’ve been thanking me all weekend.”

“It’s because you deserve it. You’ve been awesome.” Nasir said seriously.

Agron caught himself blushing a little. _The hell?_ “Um, well call me if you’re bored or something.”

“I’ll probably just drink and put “King of Sorrow” on repeat.”

“Oh god, not Sade.” Agron cried.

“It’s the quintessential, ‘my man done left me’ song. I won’t be denied.” Nasir said.

“Definitely call me if you decide to do something desperate.”

Nasir laughed. “What are you going to do?”

“Ahh, Spartacus is having a get together at his place. I’ll probably stop by. It beats going home and staring at Barca for the rest of the night.” Agron answered.

“Well, have fun.”

There was an awkward pause. Agron was finding it difficult to make his feet move. “Bye. I’ll see you soon.”

“Okay.”

Agron turned to go.

“Hey,” Nasir said to stop him. He walked up to Agron and hugged him. Agron wrapped his arms around Nasir. They stood in their embrace for what seemed like hours. Agron felt something quake deep within him. His lips brushed lightly against Nasir’s forehead. For the first time, Nasir felt his stomach flip.

He let go and cleared his throat. “So, I’ll let you go. Barca’s waiting.”

“Yeah.” Agron said thickly. He turned and walked out preventing his mouth from running away from him as it was wont to do. He exited the gate and got into his car. As he drove off, Barca started talking to him about realtors. He was planning on putting his house on the market as soon as could he told him. Agron found himself barely listening as they headed home.

He had sat in his car across the street and watched Agron open the entrance gate and walk to his SUV. He was already cursing himself for rashly deciding to go to Nasir’s place already and seeing Agron leaving there did not help his mood at all. The past twenty four hours played out again for him and knew that he would not be welcomed if tried to see Nasir. He couldn’t help himself though. When he got off the plane the day before, he headed straight for Tiberius’ place. He needed a friendly face and a warm body after all the ugliness that had occurred. In the past, it was the go to cure. However, as Tiberius touched and caressed him with his hands and tongue, all he saw and heard was Nasir. He left Tiberius before things could go any further, leaving the younger man angry and disappointed. He had spent the rest of the night and the following day in a stupor. Nasir refused to answer his calls and the text he sent back cut Castus deeply. “ **Do not call me. Do not knock on my door**.” He kept seeing it over and over again. It was over, beyond what little hope he clung to in his car, it was. He could think of nothing to reverse that fact. 

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The wind that rippled through her hair was cool, a reminder of the coming of the fall season. She clutched arms closer to her body but she did not leave the balcony. She stood where she was and looked out past the darkness. She thought of all the people she loved, and lifted up a silent prayer for all. Barca, Saxa, Nasir, Agron, Belesa, and Gaia. Her beloved Gaia the most.

The wind seemed to answer her prayer as it stirred once more, lifting her hair and brushing her face. She closed her eyes and thanked it for listening. 


	6. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Epilogue and it's one year after the events at Lake Tahoe. Time to wrap up loose some ends and leave some others dangling. At least a few people are happy. I'm not entirely heartless. Five card stud is fun as hell, too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As you have all probably figured out, I'm an undercover Nagron fan. There's no way I could have them both in a story without them falling in love. I know this wasn't a story for everyone, I just happen enjoy tales of adults doing stupid adult things.
> 
> I'd like to thank everyone for their comments and kudos, here and off the site. You truly inspired me. As a cowardly writer buried under piles of unposted fanfiction, you all gave me the courage to finally hit the send button. I'm truly grateful, grammar and continuity issues aside.

Epilogue

One year later

She sighed and looked the mess on the kitchen counter. She had convinced herself earlier that a crab leg feast would be great idea, but she was seriously rethinking her ambitious plan as piles of legs, spices and vegetables threatened to chase her out of the room. She considered waiting until Agron arrived to help out, but she wanted to have something started before everyone arrived.

The guest list would be reduced this time around. There would be no Barca, no Belesa, Castus… or Gaia. She started to put the double boiler on the stove with a familiar pang of sadness that had not lessened since she and Gaia broke apart. The days drifted into weeks and the weeks flowed into months. But she was still at that place, at that moment when she heard Gaia say that she was leaving her and moving out. She needed to find a respite and there was only one place that could provide it, as it always had throughout the years.

She heard a honk and rushed down the stairs to open the garage. An enormous red pick-up truck drove in and halted. Saxa stuck her head out the window, smiling. “Hey!” she yelled.

Lucretia smiled, “Hello sweetheart.” Saxa hopped out of the truck and gave Lucretia one of her trademark rib crushing hugs. She was beaming and Lucretia thought that she hadn’t seen her friend look so radiant in quite a while.

The reason for Saxa’s newfound happiness emerged from the passenger side. She was  tall and striking, with long blonde hair. Saxa’s new girlfriend held out her hand almost regally. “Hi, I’m Illithyia. I’ve heard so much about you. Thanks for inviting me.”

“The pleasure’s mine.” Lucretia said taking her hand and shaking it. “I hope you have a wonderful time.”

“Saxa’s been talking about the place for weeks now, I’m sure I will. It’s gorgeous here.”

“Thank you. Well, grab your things and get settled in.” Lucretia waited for them to get their various bags and totes and led them up the stairs. Saxa grabbed her hand on the way up.

“You look great, by the way. How are you doing?” She asked.

“It was strange flying up by myself, but I feel much better since I got here.”

“Good.”

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

While Illithyia took in the spectacular view from their bedroom window, Saxa came up from behind and wrapped her arms around her waist. “Amazing isn’t it?” Saxa asked.

She laid her hands on top of Saxa’s. “It truly is…I’m surprised I’m here seeing this.”

“Huh? Why?”

“Considering that you were here last year with your ex, I would have thought this place would dredge up some bad memories.” Illithyia replied.

Saxa shook her head, “No. It could never do that. Regardless of what happened before, I could never stop coming here.” She turned Illithyia to face her, “Belesa is in the past, along with all of that drama. I want to make some new, good memories with you. Okay?”

Illithyia kissed her gently. “Okay. I’ll finish unpacking here. Lucretia looks like she needs some help downstairs because as you know, I’m useless in the kitchen.”

“Don’t worry, I didn’t get with you for your cooking.” Saxa said with her leer and pinched her bottom. She laughed and pushed Saxa away playfully.

Saxa left the room and started downstairs to the main floor. She hadn’t thought about Belesa in weeks, a fact that surprised her. She thought the mourning period over her previous relationship would have lasted longer than it did. She also thought that she wouldn't have jumped into another relationship with as much enthusiasm as she had.

When they came back from Lake Tahoe the year before, Belesa on the advice of Lucretia’s therapist agreed to enter rehab. She was there for a full month before disaster struck. Her mother suffered another stroke, one that proved fatal. Against the urgings of the facility staff and Saxa, Belesa left and went back to Vancouver to be with her family. She quickly went into a tailspin, culminating in her disappearance after her mother’s funeral for three days. She was eventually found babbling incoherently on the Skytrain by security and arrested. Saxa knew then that there was nothing else she could do.

Their last conversation in that quiet hospital room sealed their end. In one last act of selflessness from her, Belesa implored Saxa to let her go and live her life without guilt. “I’m so messed up. It’s not fair to have you hanging around waiting for me to get my shit together.”

“I told you that I’d be here for you.” Saxa told her.

“And you have been. More so than I deserved. I was never there for you. I never tried, but I’m going to now.” Belesa said.

“And I’ll help you.”

“No. I’m going to help you for a change. I want you to walk out of this room and never come back.” Belesa took her hand as she was crying.

Saxa looked shocked. “I don’t have a choice in the matter?”

“Yes you do. Choose to be happy.” Belesa let her hand go and turned her head.

“Belesa!”

“Go Saxa, just go.” She said, not looking at her.

Saxa walked out the room in a daze. She couldn’t believe what had happened. And for someone who never let a tear finish falling down her face, she cried for two days straight.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Lucretia was laughing heartily over the green bean salad at Illithyia’s story about putting a homophobic jerk in his place at work when another car horn honked.

“They finally decided to show up.” Saxa said wryly.

She, Lucretia and Illithyia made their way down to the garage. Lucretia opened the door and Agron’s familiar and ancient SUV rolled in.

“About time you got here.” Saxa called out crossing her arms.

Agron exited the truck and took off his sunglasses. “We had a late start this morning.” He said. Nasir got out of the passenger side and hugged Saxa.

She gave him a knowing look, “Oh really?”

A raised eyebrow and a shrug was his only response. Lucretia came over and gave him a big kiss. “Look at you! Have you been working out since the last time I saw you?”

Nasir’s physical appearance had changed. He had gained weight and his upper body was more developed. His hair was slightly shorter and he had grown a goatee. “I keep hanging around that guy over there. What can I say?”

Agron got a kiss in and hugged Illythia. Saxa was greeted with a sneer though. “You think you’re hot shit because you made it here before me.”

“It happens when you drive a car made in this decade.” Saxa smirked. Illythia laughed. She then hugged Nasir and said, “Good to see you again.” They had become fast friends since Saxa introduced them weeks before.

“Glad you could make it,” he said.

“C’mon Agron, there’s crab legs waiting for you to boil.” Lucretia said.

“Oh yeah! Wait until I work my magic!” Agron exclaimed.

“I thought you did this morning,” Nasir said quietly.

Agron grinned widely.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The spread was impressive. Mounds of seasoned crab legs lay at the center of the balcony dining table surrounded by salad, corn on the cob and bowls of melted butter and lemons. Small metal buckets were at each end for the empty shells and bibs were at each setting to prevent more mess. Lucretia had thought of everything.

“Oh wait, I forgot something.” Agron said and hurried back into the kitchen. Lucretia turned to Nasir who was starting to put on his bib.

“You haven’t stopped smiling since you got here. A huge change from last year. Nothing to complain about I take it?” She asked.

“Nope. No complaints whatsoever.” He gave a satisfied grunt and Lucretia giggled.

“Barca keeps in regular contact. I’m always getting emails and calls. Which leads me to ask, how did he take the news that you two had gotten together?” She asked after she recovered.

“Surprisingly well. He wished us all the best and he even offered to write a recommendation letter for me.” Nasir answered.

“Wow. That was really generous of him. But then again, Barca is a class act.”

“Yeah, he is. Unlike someone else,” he meant Castus.

Lucretia gave a knowing look. “What’s the letter for?”

Before Nasir could answer, Agron reappeared after quite a struggle with the door, carrying a bottle of his German beer in one hand and a bottle of Moet Chandon and some champagne flutes in another. “I couldn’t remember where I put this.”

“What’s this, Moet? Are we celebrating something?” Illithyia asked.

“Yes as a matter of fact we are.” He turned to Nasir. “My love has some news.” He handed everyone a flute.

Saxa poked Nasir, “Spill it!”

Nasir looked a bit embarrassed as Agron opened the champagne bottle. The corked popped and Agron poured some in each glass, save himself. He had sworn off champagne and intended to keep his vow.

“Go on,” Agron prompted.

Nasir stood up. “I took the bar a few weeks ago and I found out yesterday that I passed.”

The women clapped and cheered. Agron held up his bottle of beer to start the toast, “To Nasir.”

They all clinked glasses (and bottles). “To Nasir.” Agron reached over and grabbed Nasir’s face for a kiss.

“That explains the late start. You two were obviously still celebrating.” Saxa said.

“Gods Saxa, you have sex permanently on the brain.” Agron scolded.

“And that’s…”Saxa started and looked around the table.

“A bad thing?” Illithyia finished.

They all laughed and settled in to start their meal.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Oh my God! I’m so stuffed.” Lucretia announced as she tossed an empty crab leg on her plate.

“That was truly excellent. Great job you guys.” Nasir said.

“Wish I could claim some credit, but I just watched.” Illithyia quipped.

“Not to worry, hang around us a bit longer and we’ll turn you into a bonafide foodie.” Lucretia said.

Illithyia touched Saxa’s face. “I intend to.” Saxa smiled.

“You heard from Gaia?” Agron asked.

“What a way to change the subject.” Saxa said with a kick.

“Ow! I was just asking. I didn’t know the subject was taboo! Is it?” He looked at Lucretia.

She smiled painfully. “No it isn’t. I know you’re asking because you care. You miss her. I miss her too.” Agron looked away slightly ashamed.

“The truth is, I haven’t. Not for a while. She said she needs space so I’m going to give it to her.”

Nasir leaned back and looked at her intently. “What happened? You’ve been pretty mum on the subject and we haven’t pressed you but, I just don’t understand. You two were perfect for each other.”

Lucretia took a minute and sipped her wine. “I guess the short explanation is that I wanted to have a child and she didn’t. The long explanation isn’t that clear.”

“I’m so sorry Lucretia. Maybe we shouldn’t have brought it up.” Nasir gave a quick look to Agron who winced.

“No, it’s fine. I’ve been keeping this in for too long. It helps to talk about it. Besides, I still have hope that we can work things out. I have to, right?” Lucretia said.

“Of course. I think you two are definitely going to get past this. Like Nasir said, you two were so perfect for each other.” Saxa chimed in.

“We’ll see.” Lucretia said sadly.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hand number three was greeted with silence. Each competitor was frantically shifting their cards in order to find the most advantageous pair. Agron started the round by throwing in a $25 raise. They had decided to change the game to Five Card Stud since Illithyia had never played Texas Hold ‘Em. The change meant that the rounds went quicker and the bets were more risky.

“I don’t think you’re bluffing,” Saxa said as she threw a chip in. “So, I’ll bite.”

“A loser’s bet. Thanks all the same.” Agron said triumphantly. He was sitting on two pairs of Aces and Queens.

“As if you’ve ever risked anything, Mr. “I line my hair products perfectly on the shelf.” She threw back.

“Oh, coming from Ms. Threesome, I consider that a compliment.” Agron countered.

“I’ll have you know, Illythia and I are strictly gold star*. Bam!” She tossed another chip in.

Agron whined. “Oh Gods, more vagina talk.”

Saxa leaned forward, “Naturally, but you can’t tell me you haven’t used some…help in the past?” She turned to Nasir who had started to scratch at his goatee in discomfort.

“No, I have never to my credit had to use toys, bells, whistles or any of that stuff!” Agron said firmly.

“I don’t know why. Bells and whistles can be fucking fantastic if you know how to use them right.” Lucretia purred. The ladies whooped as the men shook their heads.

“I call,” she went on to say, looking at Nasir. He then remembered his promise to her last year and put down his cards. He had a Four of a Kind.

“I fold,” he said desultorily. The others either called or folded and Lucretia displayed her hand, a Full House. She smiled at him as she collected the pot. In the end, Lucretia won the tournament and Nasir came in last.

 _Fuck_ , he thought. _To hell with promises._

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Okay move over a little to the left, Nasir.” Saxa told him as she held up her phone. “I want to get all of this.”

Nasir sighed and moved. Of all the humiliations, why in the world did Lucretia choose this? “Is this better?” he said irritably.

“Perfect.” Saxa cooed. Agron was beside himself with laughter.

“You can start now.” Lucretia directed. Nasir looked to Agron helplessly. “How about a little help?”

Agron shook his head. “Sorry babe. In life, you gotta take your losses like a man. Even if it means having to sing, ‘Natural Woman’ in your underwear...” He couldn’t finish as another fit of laughter took over him.

“Come on, we don’t have all night.” Lucretia said.

Nasir pouted, but began singing, “Before the day I met you, life was so unkind…” His voice was surprisingly good but he stopped. “I don’t remember all the lyrics!”

“Don’t worry, we’ll help.” Illithya said choking back her laughter.

“Uhh, you’re the key to my peace of mind. Cuz you make me feel. You make me feel. You make me feel like a…”

“…Natural woman.” Lucretia, Saxa and Illithya sang. Agron by that time had collapsed to the floor.

“I can’t wait to show everybody this. Keep going. You’re not finished.” Saxa said gleefully.

Nasir groaned miserably, hiked up his boxer briefs and continued singing.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Lucretia handed the last plate to Saxa who loaded it into the dishwasher. She felt a certain sense of contentment that she hadn’t felt in a very long time. Deciding to host another vacation weekend proved to be a revelation. She was so grateful that Saxa, Agron and Nasir convinced her to do it.

Saxa wiped her hands with a dish towel and gave Lucretia a searching look. “Well, what do you think?”

“Of Illithyia? I think she’s fabulous. Not that you needed my approval. You have excellent taste. She gorgeous, as usual.”

“Yes, she is very hot.”

“It is a bit of a departure for you though. I thought you preferred brunettes.”

Saxa bit her lip and grinned, “She’s a natural brunette. I’ve seen the carpet…many times.”

Lucretia chortled. “Oh Saxa. You seem happy though.”

“Oh yeah, she’s awesome. So unlike…”

“I can tell.”

“It’s almost strange being with someone who shows up on time, and keeps promises, and who’s honest.” Saxa said as she laid the towel down.

“That’s wonderful. You don’t think you’re entitled to that?” Lucetia asked surprised. _How much damage did Belesa inflict?_ She wanted to ask, but didn’t.

“No, it’s not that. I’m grateful, trust me. She’s so supportive. Remember I told you that I wanted to go back to school?”

“Yes.”

“She’s all for it. I feel like it’s time for me to do it.” Saxa said happily.

“I’m with her. Anyone who supports your dreams is a keeper.”

“Yeah.”

“You sound like you’re in love, Saxa.” Lucretia said and touched Saxa’s face.

“I just may be. Thank the Gods. I didn’t know if it could happen for me again.”

Lucretia hugged her, “Of course it can. For anyone. Look at Agron and Nasir.”

Saxa widened her eyes, “I know! Who would have thought? But seeing them together, it makes a lot of sense.”

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

They lay spooned together. Agron had his hand thrown carelessly across Nasir’s waist, with his face buried in his hair. Nasir breathed softly in the crook of Agron’s arm. It was their usual sleeping position. The nights seemed to go less smoothly without constant touch. The unconscious contact represented a bond of reassurance, comfort and deep love.

Their night of uneventful sleep wasn’t planned, but the day’s drive and the previous night’s activities proved exhausting, little did they know it would soon be interrupted.

“OH GOD!”

“YES!”

“COME FOR ME BABY!”

Agron lifted up his head, “Goddamn it, Saxa!” Nasir stretched and looked around in bewilderment. “What’s going on?” he asked.

“Saxa’s being her usual loud and annoying self.” Agron exhaled.

“Just ignore them, babe.”

“I can’t. I’m not going to get back to sleep with all that noise. I have a right mind to pound on the door and tell them to quiet the fuck down.” He stirred and started to rise.

“Wait,” Nasir said holding his arm.

“What? You can sleep with all that noise?”

“Ahhh! Ahhh! AHHH!” Rang out from the room down the hall.

“I have a better idea,” Nasir said as he rolled on top of his lover. “Let’s make some noise of our own.” He finished the statement with a searing kiss.

Agron welcomed the kiss and returned it in kind. “That’s a great idea.” He said heavily after they broke apart for air.

“Good,” he said. Agron didn’t needed further prompting and rolled him over on his back with his lips and hands everywhere.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Lucretia opened her eyes as the noise level increased. She forgot her earplugs and scolded herself for forgetting that Saxa could howl with the wolves when caught up in passion. She sat up and noticed that a light was blinking on her phone.

She picked it up and saw that she had received a text. It was from Gaia.

**“Thinking of you.”**

That was all. Lucretia smiled and texted back.

“ **Thinking of you.”**

 

 

The End


End file.
